Working My Way Home

{This article was originally posted as a guest article for Megan @ A Blossoming Homestead.}


Mine was the generation of girls who were told (and believed), "You can do anything a boy can do, only better."  

I was born in the first decade after Roe v. Wade. Though born to Christian parents, the seductive lies of feminism invaded my belief system from an early age. I dreamed career-focused dreams, without for a moment considering that any biological functions or marital desire would -- or should -- affect those dreams. 

Convinced that we were smarter than boys ("girls rule, and boys drool"), we were more cutthroat ("hell hath no fury..."), we were also on the receiving end of affirmative action efforts.  Colleges and businesses wanted us, but (at least in the south) boys still had to hold the door open for us. 

In every area, we girls were the beneficiaries. 

Or so we believed.

CAREER PLANS
After serving in student government and working as an intern for then-Governor Mike Huckabee, I worked for the Arkansas Legislature and shortly after graduation got a job in D.C. as the Associate Director of the Texas Office of State-Federal Relations.

I was well on my way to achieving my political dreams, gaining experience through assisting, which (in my mind, and validated in the lives of those I interacted with) I believed would lead to personally holding elected office. With strong political connections in Arkansas, Texas, and the White House, I had (though I was in my very early twenties) achieved the launching pad for the political career of my choosing.

...THEN CAME BABY

When I became pregnant, we began weighing our options and the plan that made the most sense to us was for me to keep going great guns with my career, and for Doug to be a stay-home dad. We went through months of thinking that way, but images kept flooding back into my brain.

I could see Angie, my friend and mentor, on the floor with her five young children... snuggling, playing,  nursing, laughing, and overseeing green army men and wooden block towers. I read breastfeeding books and pondered how in the world I would manage that from my office two blocks from the US Capitol, with my husband and baby in the suburbs during 10-hour workdays. Reading Iris Krasnow's book Surrendering to Motherhood: Losing Your Mind, Finding Your Soul gave me much to ponder. While not a Christian book, Krasnow digs into the intersection of the feminist message and the earth-shaking role of mother. She painted the picture for me of her messy dining table, with three kids three and under, and the unabated joy therein.

Somewhere inside of me, these images and messages roiled and rumbled, until one day it all spilled out to Doug in one emotional, heart-felt, impassioned-in-the-same-way-I-had-previously-been-about-politics lump of words.

And he listened.

Praise God, my husband listened to the emotional jumble and heard inside of it the nugget of truth... the God-given desire of a mother to be home with her child, not missing a moment, pouring her heart and soul into this new person.

EVERYTHING CHANGED
Because my husband honored this desire of my heart, it changed everything about our lives. No longer would we be able to afford to live in Washington, D.C., and no longer would he pursue a graduate degree in Art.  We took a leap of faith, without a job, without insurance, and moved back to Texas.

NOT A CAKEWALK
Because our son had stayed a week in the NICU that did not accept our insurance, we were financially in debt.

Things were tight, but we knew God would care for us. And He did.

Through God's people, Doug found work. Through his work (at Kohl's), we were able to afford to re-outfit his closet with professional attire (rather than that of a college artist), and he found a job that brought home just enough for us to live on.

We weren't "comfortable":

• We lived in a one-bedroom apartment in a small, rural town
• We had one car, so I was in that apartment almost 24/7
• I was overweight and had almost no clothes that fit (but a nice set of suits a couple sizes smaller)
• We didn't have money to change any of that

BUT-- we knew we were doing what we were made to do, and we were content.

From Genesis 2 forward, men are created to work, and women are created to be nurturers of life. God designed us to do exactly the thing that didn't make sense to the modern notions of wisdom.  

Though our career plans were big and we were successfully chasing those dreams, God had other plans for us.

And now, eleven and a half years later, we've moved around the world multiple times, and now have 5 boys and a girl (ages 11, 9, 7, 5, 3, and 7 months), who I am privileged to spend my days alongside.

I am still so thankful for the things God did to change our hearts and priorities, and wouldn't change a thing!

Well, I take that back. I would have sold that closet full of suits while they were still in style.

But aside from that, not a thing.