How Do We Walk in the Way of Wisdom?

I love Proverbs. Whenever I can, I like to read the Proverb for the day of the month, like I recently did with Proverbs 4 on the 4th.

Again and again, Proverbs 4 reminds us of the importance of seeking wisdom & letting it inform not only our THINKING but our CHOICES-- the way we walk.

Check out these things found in Proverbs 4:

COMMANDS FOR US, CONCERNING WISDOM--

• Hear (v. 1, 10)
• Be attentive (v. 1, 20)
• Do not forsake (v. 2, 6)
• Let your heart hold fast (v. 4)
• Keep (v. 4)
• Get (v. 5, 7) 
• Do not forget (v. 5)
• Do not turn away (v. 5)
• Love [wisdom] (v. 6)
• Prize [wisdom] (v. 8)
• Embrace [wisdom] (v. 8)
• Accept [wisdom] (v. 10)
• Keep hold (v. 13)
• Do not let go. (v. 13)
• Guard [wisdom] (v. 13)
• Incline your ear to it (v. 20)
• Let it not escape your notice (v. 21)
• Keep them within your heart (v. 21)

COMMANDS FOR US, CONCERNING EVIL--

• Do not enter the path of the wicked (v. 14)
• Do not walk in the way of the evil. (v. 14)
• Avoid it. (v. 15)
• Do not go on it. (v. 15)
• Turn away from it and pass on (v. 15)
• Turn your foot away from evil. (v. 27)

As I read through these list, and chapter 4 of Proverbs from which they are taken, I am struck by these things:

1. It must be easy to forget about wisdom, or to turn away from it. Look at how many different times and how many different ways he tells his son to KEEP HOLD of it. Prize! Hold fast! Be attentive!
2. We are to value wisdom, but that must not be our natural inclination. It is not just anything in life that we prize, embrace, love, hold onto. Wisdom is truly so valuable in our lives, and yet the writer tells us many times over to value it. Why would he say that if we were valuing what is valuable? But the truth is that we are often NOT inclined to prize wisdom as we should. The way of the flesh is to desire to be seen as wise, not to see others as wise & seek their insight. We have to reverse our natural inclinations and intentionally seek and prize wisdom.
3. We have a choice whether or not to walk in the way of evil. There is a clear "path of the wicked." The Bible says God has written His law on our hearts-- we KNOW when we are entering a way we should turn away from. 
4. We are to pay attention to where we're headed. Read this passage (selected verses from Proverbs 4:11-27) and think about the analogy of life like a walk along a pathway:

I have taught you the way of wisdom;
I have led you in the paths of uprightness.
When you walk, your step will not be hampered,
and if you run, you will not stumble.
...
Do not enter the path of the wicked,
and do not walk in the way of evil.
Avoid it; do not go on it;
turn away from it and pass on.
...
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day.
The way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know over what they stumble.
...
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.

LOOK IN FRONT OF YOU

I think it's fascinating that he tells us to have our eyes look "directly forward." What happens when we do that, intently, is that we SEE what is in front of us. We take notice of where we're headed, and can make mid-course corrections as need be.

I have that verse- Proverbs 4:26- up on a wall in our home to remind all of us to consider where the choices we're making now-- today-- will lead us. Here's a pic from when I painted it:

What about you?

• Are you truly looking at what's in front of you? (Consider people who have walked the path you are walking. Where does it lead? Are you walking in the way that they walked? What are the natural outcomes/consequences/benefits of continuing to walk in the way you are going?)
• How do you PONDER the path of your feet?

Image courtesy of Ohmega1982/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How Do You Talk About Your Children?

Words can build up; words can tear down... this is true in the words we use regarding our children.  

It seems like so many moms today feel free to openly gripe and grump about their children.  But I believe that we have to be intentional and thoughtful in the words we speak TO or ABOUT our children.  And I believe those words ought to be kind, hopeful words-- words that give life, and words that honor children as God's gift.  

WORDS THAT TEAR DOWN

Words like these can be so hurtful and damaging (both to our children, and to the attitudes/hearts of people to whom we are speaking):

• "Newborns are dull."
• "Terrible Twos"
• "Being a mom of little ones is drudgery."
• "Sooooooo thankful for daycare."
• "Mommy can't wait for them to get back to school!"
• "Just like her father/grandfather/sister" (in a negative tone-- obviously this can be said in a positive tone too)
• "Little miss know-it-all"
• "Bull in a china shop"
• "Typical sibling rivalry"
• "I never get a moment's peace!"
• "You know how GIRLS are."
• "You know how BOYS are."
• "You know how toddlers are."
• "You know how TEENAGERS are."
• "Thinks he knows everything."
• "He doesn't want to listen to his mama, do you buddy?"  (Analyze that for a minute-- what is being reinforced in the way he views/treats his mom? and what kind of relationship is being defined there-- a parent/child one or a buddy/buddy one?)

I can already hear some protests-- "oh come on, lighten up.  You've gotta let off a little steam every now and then."  

Or even some sarcasm: "Right.  Just wait until you have a teenager."

WORDS MATTER

But I'm a words girl.  I love words.  I love the way they merge together to communicate and illuminate.   And seeing as how Jesus is called "The Word" and how words are what He used (not images, not feelings, not paintings, not data) to communicate the truth about Himself, I think God thinks that words matter.

Here are some examples:

• "What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart."  (Mt 15:18)
• "Reckless words are like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  (Prov 12:18)
• "On the day of judgment people will give an account for every careless word they speak." (Mt 12:36)
• "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." (Prov 18:21)
• "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." (Prov 16:24)
• "Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also for them." (Mt 7:12)
• "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." (Prov 14:1)
• "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!" (Ps 141:3)

WORDS ARE AN INDICATOR

Labels pronounced upon our children and words hastily spoken about our children-- these things are indicators of deeper things within us.  The things we think come out in our words.  So it's really not only our words that I'm addressing, but also the heart attitudes to which they point.  

Attitudes of annoyance, bitterness, self-importance... and (sorry if this steps on toes) the fact that sometimes, they point to something we ought to DO SOMETHING ABOUT, rather than just gripe about.  

To take the last example up there, spoken to a fictitious cashier or Sunday school teacher-- "He doesn't want to listen to his mama, do you buddy?"  The right thing to do, at that point, is to work on it.  Now that the attitude has been identified (he bucks mom and does not want to honor or listen to what she says), the next step is to deal with it.

Another example?  "Newborns are so dull."  Well, perhaps they are, to you.  But they aren't to everyone.  They are not, in and of themselves, dull.  They are little people, fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who has uniquely designed their every part, even down to the fingerprint.  And you are unnecessarily coloring someone else's view of what might be (for her, one day, if she isn't too scared off or put off by descriptions of "dullness" like this) a God-full, miraculous season of joy and wonder. 

One more example:  "I never get a moment's peace!"  Well.  Whose fault is that?  Is your child supposed to come out of the womb magically knowing that you are a separate person with individual needs and desires, one of which is to have 30 minutes or more of relative silence each day?  No.  You must teach that.  It is not your child's fault that you don't have a moment's peace.  

Here's the thing: you being "bored" says more about you than about your surroundings.  You not getting a moment's peace says more about what you haven't taught your child to do and be, than about your child.

An attitude that says, "I can't wait for them to get out of my hair and get back in school" tells the world something about you,  and will color how they see your children as well (as annoyances-- I mean, let's be honest, if the mom thinks they're miserable to be around, then what are the rest of us supposed to think?).

I'm absolutely not encouraging us to speak untrue things about our children, but to be intentional and thoughtful in the words that we speak.  Catch the words before they come out of your mouth and examine them.  If "she's been a little pill lately", should you do something about that?  If "he's being a punk to his brother", does that merit your attention?  If "you can't wait" to have them out of your hair, what does that say about you and about them?  And is there something that needs to be done in order to deal with that?  

And if you've just grown lax in how you speak about them, let me challenge you to take a step back and choose words that give life.  Words that "build" your home and that build up the people who live there.  Words that encourage and "hope all things", as 1 Corinthians 13 says is loving.  

Especially when speaking about our children, let's be intentional women who use our words intentionally.

Images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Making the Most of Our Multi-Tasking Abilities

We women tend to be multi-taskers.

We try to squeeze as much as we can into a given moment- carrying the groceries in (loaded down like a donkey), calling instructions to the kids over our shoulder, using the tiniest sliver of our index finger (otherwise weighed down with groceries) to open the gate, kicking the gate closed with our feet, already mentally planning which steps need to be done in which order, in order to have dinner prepared in less than 20 minutes, so we can nurse the baby when he wakes up in 25 minutes.

But sometimes there's a tendency to think that we have to have silence and solitude in order to meditate or enter into spiritual truth in a deep way.  That the schedule has to be cleared in order to intake spiritual "food".  That if we could just get away from daily demands, THEN we'd have time to retreat and find rest for the soul.

But one of the things I've come to know in the last eleven years as a mom is this: silence and solitude and beautiful and rare... but a peaceful heart and calm spirit can happen in any setting, at any time.

Let me keep this short.  Basically, I try to (as often as possible) combine one item from list A with one item from list B:

In a nutshell, use those times where the mind is free to fill it up with things that are meaty and spiritual and encouraging.  Don't let the time fritter away and go to waste.  That's not to say every moment has to be filled with noise.  Moments of just letting my mind be at rest, and nestling into solitude, can be healing and helpful.

But our minds are not naturally bent toward godliness.  

If we perpetually give our minds nothing on which to focus, we will easily drift into self-focus--  replaying hurtful conversations, mentally jotting down a list of things we "never" get or "always" have to do, replaying compliments and reviewing "successes", or replaying hurt and criticism and reviewing failures.  Or we can drift into busybodying about others-- reviewing things they did (or didn't) say, things they did (or didn't) do, thinking of things they should (or shouldn't) say, things they should (or shouldn't) do.


Instead, I most often click on my audioBible or head to YouTube (or one of my apps) and turn on a sermon by Chandler, Piper, Chan, Harris, or Driscoll.

Let me encourage you to try it-- or do it more often-- give your mind something on which to focus during tasks when your hands or body are busy doing something otherwise mindless.

Please hear my heart: don't let this be a point of legalism or guilt for you.  

By all means, take time to enjoy the silence nursing your new baby... or if the kids have been at it all day, enjoy the solitude and relaxation of a hot, quiet bath.  But in moments when your mind craves something to do, or would tend toward self-focus or busybodying about other people, my encouragement for you is to give your mind something to do-- combine list A with list B and let God renew your heart, mind, and soul as you go about your daily activities.

Milk or Meat? Measuring Spiritual Growth

While laying in bed yesterday morning, nursing my little five-month-old Theodore, I watched him.

The milk was so comforting to him that he fell asleep, while his little mouth still lazily moved to continue making withdrawals.  When he finished on one side, I pulled him close onto my tummy, rolled over, and his hunger was ravenous.  Mind you, he'd already gotten more than half of his intake, but he was still aggressive in his pursuit of the last portion.  His little mouth open wide, he shook his head to one side and the other, back and forth, not fussing, but ferocious in his attempt to get what he needed.

He knew I would give and that it was coming, so it wasn't that he thought he might miss out.  This has been the routine for 6-10 times a day for more than 150 days.

But his desire was strong.

He had a need, and knows that I am his Need-Meeter.

It was right for him to turn to me, and to pursue until he got what he needed.

And it yielded in his satisfaction and growth.


It made me think of Scripture, and whether our desire for it, and pursuit of it, matches our need.

Do these descriptions describe us-- do they describe me? do they describe you?-- in our pursuit of Scripture?  (I promise I just wrote that last paragraph without thinking of this part)--

• comforting
• continually making withdrawals even when tired
• partially finished but still hungry for more
• ravenous
• aggressive in pursuit
• open wide
• not fussing but ferocious in an attempt to get what is needed

I have been lazy lately in my pursuit of Scripture.  I've been consuming a lot of spiritual food prepared and "cooked" by other people.  Now, granted, I'm in that postpartum foggy season where I have to remember to trust that my Shepherd sees me with gentle, compassionate eyes, rather than taking on guilt or shame for being more exhausted, and less productive, than I might otherwise be.  

But here's the thing, the thing I wish wasn't true of any of us:

Milk is for babies.  

1 Peter 2:2, 1 Corinthians 3:2, and Hebrews 5:12-13 explicitly compare spiritual growth of a believer to the physical growth of a baby.

Laying in bed, whether crying or not, and hoping that the food will come to us is the action of a baby, both biologically and spiritually speaking.

It would be silly for me, as an adult, to lay around in bed and expect healthy, body-nourishing food to come into my mouth.  No, I have to go into the kitchen and cook.  The same is true spiritually.

While there is always the option of convenience food, something someone else has prepared for me that I just heat up in one form or another, that is not most healthful long-term- biologically or spiritually.  

I like the way the New Living Translation expresses this: 

"You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others.  Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God's word.  You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food.  For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn't know how to do what is right."

There is maturity and health in learning to chop up my own vegetables, carefully and confidently wielding a knife to slice up meat, and knowing how to mix ingredients well, in order to prepare meals that will nourish my body in the ways that I need to grow.   That is true for my physical body and for my faith.

There are so many rabbit trails of analogy that I could pursue at this point-- 

1. A skilled chef would not just prepare donuts, cake, and cookies to eat day in, day out.  No!  Anyone who spends time thinking about food knows that while excellent flavor and enjoyment of food is wonderful, wise choices must be made in order to effectively and healthfully grow the body.  The same is true spiritually.  Only someone on the level of a toddler thinks that suckers, chocolate chips, and donuts could make a good diet... to grow, we have to consume things that make our spiritual "teeth" grind, and something that builds us up.  Consumed over time, too much sugary fluff will make us sick, not strong. 
2. Someone who makes food for others becomes responsible for what they serve up.   James 3:1 warns those who would teach: "you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."
3. We can get a sense of where we are, spiritually speaking, by how skilled we are at procuring, preparing, and consistently consuming nourishing spiritual food.  It's not an exact science, but I think we can get a good sense of where we "sit" spiritually by examining what we're taking in, who is cooking it up, and how healthy and regular our portions and ingredients are.

And those may all be rabbit trails worth pursuit.

But the main point I wanted to make today is this: when I look at my new little son, I see a tiny, needy human who is aware of his need, and who cries out on a regular basis to have his need met.  He looks to me, rightly, as his loving Need-Meeter, and is satisfied, pleasant, growing healthily, and content.  

Do I, like him, turn to the One who will meet my need?  

Do I do what is in my power to procure what will help me grow?

Am I consistent in my pursuit of, and discerning selection of, spiritual food?

Am I healthy and growing?




Cooking photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

For further reading on this topic:

• A CALL FOR BIBLICAL LITERACY
• IDEAS FOR GETTING MORE SCRIPTURE AS A BUSY MOM
• "ME TIME", BURNOUT, AND JESUS' EXAMPLE
• LIKE A NEWBORN BABY (ha! Had no idea I'd written about this passage before.)
• BEING A WISE-WORDED WOMAN
• ALL MY POSTS ON "STUDYING THE BIBLE"

Form vs. Heart (Trail Blaze #2)

It is so easy to get trapped (as a mom, as a woman, as a wife, as a child of God) in thinking that a particular *form* is what's needful, rather than understanding that it is the heart with which God is concerned.  Don't fall into this trap!

I'll offer one example, but it's merely an example... an example of a "good thing" that can be elevated to a "necessary thing" if you look at the form, rather than the heart of the matter:

THE 5AM "QUIET TIME"
For example- the 5am quiet time.   Is this necessary?  Some bloggers and books seem to communicate that waking before your children is the "right" thing to do.  That if you're godly enough, if you prepare enough, if you are diligent enough (see how all this depends so stringently on *you* being good enough?), then you'll make a way for this to happen.  "Because if God's Word is important to you," their 'wisdom' goes, "you'll make Scripture the first priority in your life."

Well, I would argue with that line of thinking for many reasons--

1. Your priorities in life do not always/necessarily line up with the chronology of your day.  Sometimes you do something first because it makes sense to do it first, not because it's necessarily the most important, or because it's the most valuable to you.  Sometimes you put off something that is extremely valuable to you because you want to be able to give it your best attention or focus.  The timing is not always the key factor in whether something is a priority to you. 
2. This way of thinking completely dismisses the idea of seasons in a woman's life.  God Himself, in Isaiah 40:11 among other places, indicates that expectations differ based on the stage a "sheep" is in. One who has only young children, a nursing baby, a child with special needs, or other unique demands, is simply in a different stage than someone with teenagers, a college student, or an empty nester.  
3. It smacks of pharasaical thinking.  One description that sticks out for me (of the Pharisees) is this one (Matthew 23:4) : 

They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. 

Christian woman, don't get caught up in thinking that because someone else does something a certain way that you must emulate her form!

Focus on the heart...  if you find someone you look up to, imitate what is godly about her heart... her motivations... her character.  But eschew ways of thinking that would convince you that you need to follow and subscribe to the specific details of someone else's life (the curriculum she uses, the time or method of her Bible study, the cleaning schedule she follows, her convictions about intimacy/ food/ birth control/ etc.).

The Pain of Discipline

Two nights ago, my husband was sick with food poisoning or some vile intestinal virus.  Though our medicine cabinet is chock-full of bottles and boxes, we had no digestive meds.  So, around midnight, eyes heavy and ready for sleep hours earlier (don't judge! remember, I'm 26 weeks pregnant!), off to CVS I went.  We were up until 1 or 2...

Then last night, while hanging out with my brother and sister-in-law and their family (who we rarely get to see), Moses spewed all over my lap, then all over himself.  Two baths and two new outfits later, we headed home in the car and about 3 minutes into our 14 minute drive, he spewed again, all over his new outfit and carseat, and not into the bag we gave him to throw up in (of course).  No, that bag was smooshed down in his anguished projectile-vomit-style hurls.

And you know what horrific thing I saw each night?  No, I don't mean the physical sights... YUCK.

I saw my own ugliness of heart.  I saw my own selfishness, desire for sleep despite the needs of people I love.  I saw my own impatience as I grumped at Doug last night.  I saw a demanding of my own rights, even if internally, though Jesus "was in the form of God and did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant."

Discipline.  God is disciplining me.  Showing me my weak spots and training me.  Giving me opportunities to do right or do poorly, and then shining light into ugly corners of my heart.

This passage in Hebrews is among my favorites.  Don't glaze over it because it's long, or because it's familiar... really read each word.  Take them in:

"6  My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by Him.  For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom He receives.  7  It is for discipline that you have to endure.  God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  8  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  9  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them.  Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?   10  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.  11  For the moment, all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  ~Hebrews 12: 6-11

In that passage, I bolded the parts that particularly encourage me as a believer, and I underlined the parts that encourage me as a parent.  Here's a quick bulleted list of what some take aways are from this wonderful passage about discipline:

GOD'S FATHERLY DISCIPLINE:

• We may be likely to minimize, and/or grow weary of the discipline of the Lord... but we should not do this. (v. 6)
• God's motive for discipline is His love for us. (v. 6)
• If we do not receive the Father's discipline, we are not truly his children. (vv. 6-8)
• We should do more than just respect it as a human respects his father for having disciplined/trained him rightly... we should willingly subject ourselves to His discipline so that we will truly live.  (v. 9)
• God disciplines us for our good. (v. 10)
• God's discipline has the purpose/end of us sharing in His holiness (His purity & set-apartness). (v. 10)
• His discipline will seem painful rather than pleasant. (v. 11)
• His discipline will yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness in our lives, if we submit to His training. (v. 11)

HUMAN PARENTAL DISCIPLINE:

• Human fathers disciplining their children is assumed to be a universal truth for all parents/children. (v. 7)
• Those children who are not disciplined are being treated like illegitimate children, not sons and daughters. (v. 8)
• When earthly fathers discipline, earthly children respect them. (v. 9)
• Discipline in the life of a child happens in a "short" window of time. (v. 10)
• Human discipline differs according to "what seems best" to the parent. (v. 10)
• All true discipline will seem painful rather than pleasant. (v. 11)
• True discipline will yield a peaceful fruit of righteousness in the lives of those who have been trained by it. (v. 11)

I am thankful for the role of mom, as it has taught me the importance of training our own kids up, with love and consistency, and it also makes me more willing to submit myself to the discipline of the Lord, knowing how much more perfect His motives and methods are than my own.  Though painful, and though we'd never (in our flesh) choose it, it is so good to see God's hand at work, knowing He means it for our good.

Let's "Ketchup"!

I suppose it's time for me to write a blogpost, seeing as how I'm getting about 347 spam blog comments each day with very vague and generic (but surprisingly lengthy) comments for product-selling websites.  They're onto me, you might say.  I've been a lazy blogger, but have enjoyed a productive and fun summer.  Hope you have too! :)  I've got some issues and thoughts swirling around in my brain, so I'm hoping to be more productive, writing-wise, very soon.

1. As of today, I'm 20 weeks pregnant with either a little Ruby Jane or a Theodore Gideon (we'll call him Theo).  Either option delights me... in different ways.  Certainly, our six year old daughter, Maranatha, would be utterly thrilled, complete with heart flops and chillbumps, to have a little sister.  But I love my squishy, funny, what-you-see-is-what-you-get boys... so either way, I'll really be thrilled.  Virtually every person who knows us is pulling for a girl, for Maranatha's sake, poor little girl in a sea of testosterone.  :)  We thought we'd find out last week, but the sono machine was out for servicing (what???).  Hopefully we can find out soon.
2. Projects I've been up to: I've made a lavender-scented rice heating pad and used it about a bajillion times, fixed our couch cushions (they had ripped off of the back of the couch and had to constantly be readjusted to not look TERRIBLE), and organized our family's shoe area with some Martha Stewart cubbies I found on deep discount @ Home Depot.  (We don't wear shoes in the house, so we previously just had a big ugly pile of shoes, grass, and random books/toys at the back door.)  It's felt great to be PRODUCTIVE!  I started a special board on Pinterest just to document which Pinterest ideas I've actually completed, to help motivate me to do more.  How do motivate yourself toward productivity?
3. We had a garage sale on Friday.  Saturday was a complete rain-out, but it worked out fine, as we'd already sold about 2/3 of what we had on the Friday, and allowed me to use those "free" hours to fix the couch cushions.  It felt so good to see all the "stuff" that had been clogging up one whole section of our garage walking out of our yard in other people's hands, with a little extra cash in our pockets.  
4. I've been making pumpernickel bread from my 
5. Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day Cookbook
.  That method is genius.  SO easy and incredibly tasty... this is the first time I've had success regularly baking bread, because it just makes the whole thing so very easy.
6. Homeschooling this year has been entirely different than any other year we've had.  We've always done Sonlight, with TONS of reading out loud, lots of great books, and a bunch of time on the couch together.  That just wasn't practical for us this year, as I thought about the variety of ages and stages our kids are at, so we've been using something I previously snobbily sneered at: workbooks.  LOL.  And it's going great!  We're still reading aloud-- some --but the great majority of their subject learning is happening via workbooks. The kids are each making solid progress and I've definitely come to see that God gives grace and kindness in a variety of ways, in each season, as we need it.  Truly, while I intellectually believed it before, I am seeing in practice that there is not one right "formula" and that we each have to do the best with what we have and trust God for the increase.
7. Our ladies' Bible study this fall has been going through True Woman 101: Divine Design: An Eight-Week Study on Biblical Womanhood (True Woman) and it has been phenomenal.  It has been so exciting to see women synthesizing the truth about the culture we live in and where it deviates from what Scripture says about why God made men and women, and the ways we are different, by design. 
8. I've been going through Scripture from the beginning, looking at how Godly people interact in ungodly cultures.  That theme has existed from Genesis 3 onward, and I have already noticed some interesting things.  I've also been reading through John, looking at Jesus & the way He interacted/spoke with people around him.  That, too, has been incredibly insightful.  The first thing I noticed, for example, was that Jesus' first question recorded in John is "What is it you are seeking?"  It's a good question for all of us to think about.  What is is, if I try to look at my life in an unbiased way, that I'm seeking?  What am I pursuing?  What is it that I sacrifice to obtain?  What am I looking for?

What's been happening with you?  Any comments/thoughts on any of the above?  

As always, this blog fluctuates and flows according to how often I'm able to sit down and write, but with the outdoor-summer season ending, and with being home more often during the days, I'm foreseeing more opportunities for writing in the near future.  

Hope you'll continue to join me as we thoughtfully interact with Scripture & culture as Christian women. :)

Getting Real About Discipleship & Anger

Last week, I read something (I think it was from John Piper) to the effect that- "Being someone different when you think no one else is looking is functional atheism.  God is always there."   Transparency.  Authenticity.  No room for duplicity.

And then this week, I read this- about discipleship, and doing the real, day-in, day-out practices of faith that lead to spiritual growth & maturity in Christ.  It's from Dallas Willard:

"But, someone will say, can I not be 'saved'-- that is, get into heaven when I die-- without any of this?  Perhaps you can.  God's goodness is so great, I am sure that He will let you in if He can find any basis at all to do so.  But you might wish to think about what your life amounts to before you did, about what kind of person you are becoming, and about whether you really would be comfortable for eternity in the presence of One whose company you have not found especially desirable for the few hours and days of your earthly existence.  And He is, after all, One who says to you now, 'Follow me!' "

It is such a huge call, to follow Christ.  It is no small thing.  Not a decision made once, in response to an altar call at church camp... not a fire insurance policy.  No, following Christ is a daily thing.
Sometimes so painful, but in that pain, there is growth, and it is good.  Like those old growing pains... oh I remember when I was about 9 or 10 and my legs would have these shooting pains-- they were not pleasant, but they were for my good.  I needed to grow taller; God was stretching out my body so that I might grow into womanhood and have a frame that would support the weight and demands it would need to carry.

Recently, God allowed me to see the extent of my sin-- specifically, He has graciously placed pressures in my life that have revealed my anger.  For many years, this sin lay dormant in my life, and then it slowly crept out as pressures mounted... but in the last year in particular, it has become clear: I have allowed myself to be mastered, enslaved, by anger... and the realization of this has brought me lower than I think I have ever been.

But IT IS FOR MY GOOD that God has brought me low.  He allows these momentary pressures so that He can refine and shape my life.  Just like that orange, He is simply squeezing out of me what is already there.  He is revealing what exists in me.
I am trying to willingly put myself under His hand... to submit to this refining process.  To work with Him, instead of kicking against Him.  This whole week has been a process of looking to Him daily, even moment-by-moment, depending on Him and greatly desiring His guidance (through the Spirit and the Word).

"Throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.  And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus..." ~Hebrews 12:1-2

Re-reading this book online-- free!-- that I read in college, has proven instructive and fruitful for giving me a biblical foundation for seeking a breakthrough in the fight against the hold of this sin in my life.  Rightly calling it what it is & confessing it with true contrition to those who have been hurt by it has brought it into the light.  And the light is where I long to live.  I want to have my life and heart be on the inside what it is on the outside, and what it is on the outside on the inside.  I want anyone who looks at any thread in my life to see what is in every other thread... a true desire to be like Christ.  To be a person who loves as I am loved, who roots out and fights against the hold of sin, who continually submits myself to this process of being shaped and refined by my Maker, who fights for justice, and encourages everyone to be free in Christ.  To be -truly- free in Christ myself.
Getting real about discipleship means that I have to do the real work of it, daily.  I can not sit back and "let go and let God".  I will welcome this squeezing, and will be real about what pours out of my heart.  Prayerfully, I will refill those squeezed-out places with Christ... with His Word, with His ways, with His Spirit.  With His strength, I will not allow those places to be reclaimed by the stronghold of sin.  By His help, I will work with all my might to be more like Jesus.
I am writing this in a continued effort to be transparent here, and this blog would not be a full picture of my life if I did not deal with my ugly sin in a straightforward way.  This is who I am, but I want to be more like Jesus.  I'm so thankful that He doesn't let me stay ugly, but that He keeps squeezing that ugly right out of me.  And in the process, He makes beautiful things out of us.

http://youtu.be/nJ4yNYY1hHM


Please pray for me.  And please feel free to share what God is doing to refine you.  The longer I live, the more I am convinced that He wants to make beautiful things of all of us, and I want to work with Him to that end.


Images:
Poppy- Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Squeeze- Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

AudioBible: Gospel Observations

I recently bought the entire New Testament from the Bible Experience (oh I love these recordings!) and took the opportunity to listen to the entire books of Matthew & Mark all in one afternoon/evening.  (Matthew took the entire length of my 3 year old's naptime, including the time it took him to fall asleep), and Mark took 90 minutes.



I had a couple of random observations from listening to the gospels in such a intensive format.

1. The writers shared specific details (5 loaves & 2 fishes for 5000 men plus women and children, 7 loaves for 4000 men plus women and children) because these are real stories-- real events-- not euphemisms or general impressions of how miraculous Jesus was.  
2. Boy, Jesus really came down hard on the Pharisees.  And really, a lot of both gospels was spent with all the ways they (and the Sadducees & Essenes) plotted and laid traps to try and trip Jesus up in His teachings.  Multiple times yesterday, my heart started praying, "Father, don't let me be like the Pharisees.... seeing, but not understanding, hearing, but not perceiving.  Help me understand.  Let me perceive what You really mean.  Discipline & shape me to be humble and teachable."
3. Jesus did a lot of healing.  It seems that physical healing is what drove most people to come out and listen to Him, rather than some inward spiritual hungering or thirsting.
4. The extensive, specific genealogies in both books immediately reminded me of recently beginning a book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a woman raised as a Muslim in Somalia, and how as a child, she was taught to be able to list out her ancestors, back at least 200 years.  Before she learned almost anything else (practical, religious, or educational) about life, her genealogy was of paramount importance.  We don't do this, so genealogies seem superfluous and dull to us, but to someone who values the heritage and history communicated in the lists of ancestors, this would be an important part of the gospels, and of the authority of Christ.
5. Jesus laid out the specifics to prepare the disciples for His arrest & death multiple times, "they will hand over the Son of Man to be killed,"  "She is preparing my body for burial," so many times in fact that it is difficult to believe that the Disciples didn't seem prepared.  
6. I wonder if the title "King of the Jews" came from the Jewish notion that the Messiah would be a military/political leader?  I wonder if He had really been called this by some people, and if certain portions of the population were really trying to thrust him into political power, or if (like I've been told all my life) it WAS solely to mock Him?  I don't know.  =
7. Stay SPIRITUALLY awake!  Don't fall into a noncommittal, bland, sideline-style faith.  We should always be engaged & prepared for His coming.  
   From Mark 13: "Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his servants in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to stay awake.  Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— lest he come suddenly and find you asleep.  And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.”  
8. I wondered as I listened to the account of Judas going out to betray Jesus if it was the acceptance of sinners that pushed him right over the edge.  See, the woman known as a prostitute came and poured out her expensive oil on Jesus, and instead of condemning her, He said she was preparing His body, AND that she would be honored for all of time.  From that banquet, apparently right after hearing Jesus say that such a sinful woman would be honored in the Kingdom of God, Judas went out to make his initial plans with the council to kill Jesus.  It made me introspectively consider if I am self-righteously put off when outright sinners are accepted and beloved by God.   I hope that is never the case in my heart... but that is one of the warnings of Judas to us.   

This was such a wonderful, wonderful exercise for me... and I'm so thankful to now own the entire NT  produced by the Bible Experience.  I highly recommend it for those of you who might be able to intentionally use & listen to an audio Bible.  It is dramatically done, and brings vivacity to the text; it enhances rather than distracting.  

The Bible Experience from zondervanpublishers on GodTube.

I hope to do this regularly, to remind myself of the core teachings and truth of Jesus Christ.

Bread Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to Get More Scripture

As a mom of little ones, at times it can be so difficult to try to find time for the Word... and yet, it is SO essential!  I have to confess there are times when I've fallen into discouragement & gotten out of the habit of regular intake of Scripture.  However, there is nothing like having God's Word in your heart and mind as you go about life as a mom!  Scripture is necessary for our encouragement, training, and strength... it is what we need as we minister to the people in our family!

Now, I absolutely don't want to contribute to legalism or a sense of failure for anyone out there, but also, I know there are many who are trying to implement new habits in Scripture as you begin 2012.  Some of you have just had a new baby, some are homeschooling several children on different levels, and some of you may be chasing toddlers for what seems like 72 hours each day.  In an effort to encourage your commitment to the Word, I offer up these ideas; use them as you see fit.  Please view none of them as an absolute command... rather, see these as possible methods to utilize.  I hope they will bless you as you seek ways to weave God's Word into your day.

Here are some ways, in various seasons of motherhood, that I've found to get more Scripture in my heart and mind:

• Find an audio Bible that you love to listen to, and download books.  Listen to Scripture as you go about your day... while you're building block towers, putting in a load of dishes, or folding laundry, your mind can be engaged in the Word!
• Set your Bible on the counter and read while you work.  As you flip pancakes or wash dishes, open up your Bible to the place where you are reading.  Read a Scripture or two, and then let your mind focus on that verse while you do the next thing... then look back down and move through a passage a verse or two at a time 
• Wake up early and spend time in the Bible in the quiet of the morning.  This is not something I have gotten into the habit of doing, but I've had friends for whom this works well.  Our apartments and such have always been set up in ways where I would wake up the rest of the household if I got up, and so instead, I've opted to maximize sleep for everyone and find other ways to work Scripture into my days.  But if this works for you, go for it!
• Use your first discretionary time each day to have time in the Word.  Particularly when I have a newborn, I find this method to be the most helpful.  It allows me to get the rest I need to have, and meet my baby & children's needs, but also, once those needs are met, helps me remember not to putz around on the internet or take up a new sewing project with my few free minutes, when I haven't yet spent at least some time in Scripture.  So with this, there's no set "time" or "method" so much as just trying to jump into the Word once I get a few minutes free.  
• Spend more time on a passage, not less.  This may seem counterintuitive, as many Bible reading plans have you going through heaps of Scripture in a day's time, but I've found that I actually benefit more from the message of Scripture when I slow down and focus in on Scripture over the course of days.  For example, for several years in a row, I took a "Book a Month" approach, and let each book's message percolate in my mind over the course of 4-5 weeks.  Then I'd move onto the next book.  That method allowed the heart and soul of each book to get more clear in my mind, as opposed to just sprinting my way through the Word.  Each method of intaking Scripture has its own benefits, but I think particularly as a busy mom of little ones, this idea of parking in one place for a given length of time can give freedom and time to really draw the marrow out of a passage, and not contribute to a sense of feeling perpetually "behind". 
• Read it out loud.  Whatever passage you are reading, read out loud to your children.  Use your voice to emphasize different parts, and let the message of Scripture be heard in your home just as you would do with a read-aloud book on your child's level.

Hopefully one or more of these have given you a new idea or approach to consider.  Perhaps you have another idea or two that could help other moms increase their Scripture intake?  Please share them in the comments!  

No Good Apart From God

The counseling class I'm taking has been so good for pressing us toward practical, specific application of Scripture in our lives.  This passage from Psalm 16 has been so encouraging to me as I press toward contentment when it would be easier to complain, or feel inferior to others for what they have and I don't--

I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; I have no good apart from You."

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot.  The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.

I have set the LORD always before me;

Therefore, my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.  (Psalm 16: 2, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11)

When I am not choosing joy and contentment, I am valuing other things above God, and above what He has sovereignly put in my life.  ***This is incorporating my recent struggles to be content; your situation may be entirely different.***   This is an exact opposite of what is written above, from Psalm 16. :

I proclaim to the world, "God is not my Lord & Master; I value other things, and want them, more than Him." 

Possessions and a beautiful house is what I will choose-- I want to pour my own cup;  I will clutch and manipulate my life to get maximum comfort, ease, and stylishness with my own hands rather than trust my life in God's hands.

I have set my own desires and my culture's standards of what is desirable always before me. 

Therefore, my heart is continually dissatisfied, and my whole being sulks.

I try to chart my own path of life without regard to what God says; outside of His presence I am empty and discontent; away from Him I find sorrow and discouragement.

Pretty convicting, isn't it, to see the exact opposite so clearly laid out?  It challenges me to think about which of these I will choose each day.



Image: nuchylee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Saved!

"Saved!"  -- The word conjures up a variety of images: money put back for a rainy day, a drowning person being pulled onto a life raft, a manager catching a significant error that would cost his company thousands of dollars.

To non-believers, the word can be mistaken to solely mean "rescued from Hell".  Being rescued, or saved, from Hell is indeed a wonderful thing, but as I read Sinclair Ferguson's thoughts today, I was reminded --that is really not the whole picture of this word "saved".

In his book, The Christian Life, Ferguson writes that the salvation of God affects believers, and saves us, in these ways:

• We are being saved from the distortion & disfiguring of sin.  Though we are sinners by nature, God's salvation makes us a new creation.  Over the course of our lives, God transforms us (sanctification) so that we look more and more like Jesus.  This does not mean that we achieve perfection, but that as we spend years abiding in Christ, our Potter shapes us and softens us to reflect the image of God.
• We are saved from the dominion of sin.  The Bible tells us we were once slaves to sin, but now we are slaves of Christ.  We like to use the word "servant", but really, the word "slave" is a more accurate translation.  As believers, we are bought with a price, and become Christ's bondservant.  And the beautiful irony is this: by becoming slaves, "we may live freely for God."  We are purchased from the darkness and enslaved to live in the light!
• We are saved from the power of Satan.  There is a real and present enemy, and he seeks to devour us like a lion seeks to consume his prey.  In Christ, we are freed from Satan's grasp, and while he still seeks to harm us, he cannot claim us as his own, because we belong to Christ alone.
• We are saved from the real, and terrifying, wrath of God.  In this present age, it is considered a social faux pas to talk about God's wrath, even in church.  Many people believe that the fact that "God is love" overrides his other character qualities.  But while our Father is loving, He is also just and righteous, and our sin deserves his wrath.  When we are hidden in Christ, our sin is also hidden in Christ.  His perfect nature transforms our unworthiness; His sacrifice covers us and makes us fit to enter the presence of God.  The people of Israel had an ever-present picture of God's holiness as only one priest, after ritual cleanings and sacrifices, could enter God's presence one time each year.  The opportunity to be in God's presence, and make requests of Him, was a rare-- and frightening-- proposition because of the reality of God's wrath.  Being in God's presence is only possible if God's wrath over sin has been satisfied by a perfect sacrifice-- which was done, once for all, in Christ.

I am so thankful for the way truth and doctrine ultimately lead to hope and confidence in God.  Being "saved" is such a beautiful truth-- not just a word, and not just salvation from some eternal destiny, but a current, present gift that affects every day of every believer in Christ!

Holding Onto Truth

So, you're sitting in ___(Bible Study, Church, small group, your living room with your Bible on your lap)____ and you read or hear something powerful.  A particular verse, a comment someone else makes, an experience shared, or a principle taught... it hits you between the eyes and you KNOW it's a truth you needed to take to heart and implement in your life.

WHAT NOW?

This is where I've been parking my brain lately.

Throughout my childhood, my late teen years after God drew me back to Him, and the first decade of my adult life, I have had many times of feeling bowled over by truth.  Again and again, God has put truth in my life that I needed to hear and implement.

But I don't know if it's human nature, or my former tendency to cram for a test and then forget the facts/information I studied once I've taken the test, but whatever the case, I've realized something: I don't hold onto truth well.

Below I've listed some ways I've found to hold onto truth and implement it in my life. I would LOVE to hear ways that you've found to KEEP and IMPLEMENT the truth that God reveals in your life.

• Printing out verses/passages/ideas and placing them in obvious places in my home
• Talking about it with Doug 
• Having accountability from women friends
• Trying to hold onto it in my mind as I read through Scripture, taking special note of applicable verses and passages I run across
• All of these things done with prayer and journaling

Of all of these, the first is most helpful for me, which may be a personality thing-- keeping WORDS visually in front of me is extremely beneficial.  At times when we are in-between apartments though (which has been often lately), it's difficult.  Right now, for example, I don't have a printer, and haven't since March; plus, I don't want to mess up walls in a temporary residence.  Just writing this out has helped me realize that this may be a big reason why I feel mentally "fuzzy" lately.  I'm missing those normal opportunities that I rely on to hold onto truth.

At the same time, people have gone thousands of years reaching out to God, and clinging to His truth without a printer and scotch tape!  :)  

Please share ideas of how you have been able to HOLD onto truth God reveals to you.  How do you mentally imprint truth in your heart and life?  Let's help one another to live biblically.



Image: Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Living In the Light

Lately I've been thinking about living in the light.  It's such a useful word picture for our lives as Christians, isn't it?

* Don't have any "dark corners" in your life-- live fully in the light!

* Speak the truth and don't gossip or backstab-- let your words always be so that if they "came to light", you would not need to be ashamed!

* Walk consistently in the light of God!

This idea of living in the light fit perfectly with something Dr. David Powlison shared in a lecture I listened to recently, about speeding-- that you should choose your car's speed by the speed you can drive at without needing to nervously watch for cops.  It makes sense, doesn't it?  Whatever speed you know is acceptable, go that speed, rather than pushing the limits to go 9 or 11 miles over the speed limit, constantly watching for cops and worried about getting a ticket.

It's simply living in the light.  No matter who sees or knows, you're just fine, because you've done everything in the light.

So, today, I did a little bible study on this idea of living in the light.  Read through these Scriptures and be encouraged as a child of the Light!

• In the beginning was the Word...  In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  ~John 1:1, 4-5
• Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. ~Luke 8:17~
• Everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.  But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God. ~John 3:20-21~
• Jesus said to them, "The light is among you for a little while longer.  Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you.  The one who walks in darkness does not know where he is going.  While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light." ~John 12:35-36~
• Be careful lest the light in you be darkness.  If then your whole body is full of light, having no part in dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light. ~Luke 11:35-36~
• (Jesus speaking) "I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness." ~John 12:46~
• Nothing is covered up that will not revealed, or hidden that will not be known.  Therefore whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops.  ~Luke 12:2-3~
• The Lord has commanded us, saying, "I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth." ~Acts 13:47~
• Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.  ~Matthew 5:16~
• The Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness, and will disclose the purposes of the heart.  Then each one will receive his commendation from God." ~1 Corinthians 4:5~
• Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness?  Or what fellowship has light with darkness? ~2 Corinthians 6:14~
• At one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.  Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.  Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light.  ~Ephesians 5:8-14~
• Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world. ~Philippians 2:14-15~
• You all are children of light, children of the day.  We are not of the night or of the darkness.  So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.  ~1 Thessalonians 5:5-6~
• You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim that excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. ~1 Peter 2:9~

• This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness of all.  If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.  ~1 John 1:5-7~
• Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.  Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.  But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.  ~1 John 2:9-10~

I don't think I've ever put together just how many references there are that clearly place the "setting" of our lives, as believers, in the light.  The Bible gives such a clear picture of a major indicator of our faith-- if we live in the light and do not walk in darkness, that freedom and transparency in our lives gives credence to the creed we profess with our mouths.  

I love the way Scripture continues to pour forth wisdom, and that there continue to be depths of insight and understanding, no matter how long I read God's words.  

God has been challenging me to live in the light in several ways lately-- in the words that I use in conversations with other women, and towards my children; in the speed that I drive; and in the way I eat.  Are there ways He is speaking to you about living in the light?  I'd love to hear about it.



Images:
Keattikorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
cbenjasuwan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
hinnamsaisuy / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Seeking Wise Counsel

There are some things Doug and I aren't great at, or have flubbed over the years. We're lousy at keeping our master bedroom clean, and we have made some short-sighted financial decisions that cost us more than a pretty penny.

But one thing we've (in my opinion) done well over the last 11 years of marriage is that we regularly seek wise counsel.

Of course we read Scripture, and seek to line up our lives with what we find there, and we don't just fly off and talk to large swathes of people before talking things through together just the two of us.

But we have found it extremely valuable to proactively pursue the advice and counsel of godly people God has put in our lives.

SEEK!

We actively ask for the input of people we respect and love, that are farther down life's roads than we are. If we're talking about parenting issues, we listen to people whose parenting we've watched and admired. If we're talking about life decisions, we talk to people who are wise and who live thoughtfully and intentionally. Sometimes we'll read an article, listen to a sermon online, or talk to similar-aged peers about it, but honestly, that's not often. We've just gained so much by seeking out the godly counsel of wise believers, that it's become a regularly-walked path in our lives.

For example, when I received a perplexing and very important letter from a friend a couple years ago, and didn't know how to respond, I talked it over with Doug, we gave it some thought, and then I called Angie, my dear friend and wise mentor. She offered some really great insights and helped me to walk through the issue in a way that led to the continuance of a peaceful relationship with that friend. When Doug & I have weighed job decisions, we make time to talk with friends around the world who have shown themselves to have godly priorities, who consistently make wise choices with their lives. Their advice has been so relevant and so helpful; we always walk away with something to consider or discuss.

We don't just have these conversations if we happen to be around them... we intentionally choose to ask for input, and deliberately seek it out from friends we respect.

WISE

One thing to consider is where you're getting your advice... sometimes a group of young moms can end up talking circles around something, whereas a mom with a couple decades of experience can put that same issue in perspective quite easily. Sometimes we miss big Truths because we're getting input and advice from people who are just as clueless as we ourselves are. So, I'd encourage you, in your decisions, to seek out people who have proven themselves wise... not over weeks or months, but over years and decades. Don't just seek a stamp of approval for what you are wanting to do... talk with godly friends before decisions are made, and go into these conversations with an open mind!

Ask-- what is the likely "fruit" of following the advice of the person(s) I'm listening to? Remember that old saying, "consider the source"... a bunch of moms on an internet message board may or may not have good advice, but if you carefully watch two or three moms in real life, and you see their children in living color, you can much more easily discern the value of the advice they're dishing out, for good or for ill.

Be discerning as to where your advice/decision-making process is coming from. Are you simply "following your gut"? Are your priorities coming from Scripture? Is your advice coming out of culture? Is it coming from wise, godly counselors? Think carefully about what is influencing the decisions you make.

COUNSEL

Reaching out to, and implementing the advice of, wise counselors has been a significant part of our married life... some of our very best friends are people who have proven themselves to be wise advisors. Sometimes life gets messy, or you're so deep in the midst of a problem that you can't see your way out. It is such a gift to have trusted people to whom you can turn when things get murky, and that's a benefit of the Body of Christ. We can turn to people within the Body and learn from one another!

AND AFTER YOU SEEK WISE COUNSEL...

Pray, talk things over with your spouse, parents, or trusted friends, and see what God would have you do. At the end of the day, counsel is just counsel. No one else can make a decision for you or live your life for you... so, once you've sought out wise counselors, and they've offered you insight, prayers, and advice, you still have to walk forward, ultimately, with prayer and in faith.

I don't want to overstate the importance of godly friends and counselors, and yet, I think it's extremely beneficial and biblical to have a number of wise, experienced, advice-givers in life.

The Bible has a lot to say about counsel. I'll close by sharing some verses:

• "The fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." ~Proverbs 12:15
• "Who is this who darkens counsel without knowledge?" ~Job 38:2~ (This if from God, talking to Job. It is a serious thing when counsel is offered without knowledge to back it up... and yet, it happens all the time-- we must be discerning to the advice we heed!)
• "Jonathan, David's uncle, was a counselor, being a man of understanding..."~1 Chronicles 27
• "Listen to advice, and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future." ~Proverbs 19:20
• "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked..." ~Psalm 1:1
• "I bless the LORD Who gives me counsel..." ~Psalm 16:7
• "In an abundance of counselors there is safety." ~Proverbs 11:14
• "The sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel." ~Proverbs 27:9
• "His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor..." ~Isaiah 9:6

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