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Battling Distractedness

We live in a time where it is easy to be distracted. 

Technology beckons, with another gadget to purchase, another blog to read, another show to follow... the problem in all of this (for me) comes in that my real life requires my attention. Increasingly so.

Precious children, with bright eyes, come with stories that they want heard,

pictures carefully colored (and sometimes not-so-carefully colored) that they want admired,

questions that need answers,

requests for a book to be read,

hurt fingers needing a kiss and sometimes some neosporin & a bandaid;

they have needs for snuggles on the couch,

math lessons that require an explanation,

and wrestling on the floor.

And I have a wonderful husband who I want to spend time with, cook well for, and be able to exchange ideas with.

The temptation becomes to only enter into these significant things halfway because of time spent online, or checking e-mail, or mentally mulling what I've just read on a blog or online news agency. Even right now, I'm watching "North and South" (Elizabeth Gaskell's; bliss!), with the kids, while typing out these thoughts.

About 10 days ago, my husband bought me a Kindle, and I love it! One of the things I love about it is (as a piece of technology) that when I sit down to use it, I don't get distracted by additional features (a.k.a windows/apps). I can't check e-mail on it; I can't get distracted by blogs on my rss feedreader; Facebook can't draw me in. When I intend to read, I don't get unintentionally, thoughtlessly drawn into other things.

Today I've been wondering, what would happen if I only concentrated on one thing at a time? 

 What would change about my life if I only focused on one thing at a time, rather than falling into the habit of regularly spinning 17 mental "plates"?

Thoughts? Comments? Experience? Tips you want to share? I welcome your input on this topic that affects so many.

ANSWERS & ADVICE: Homeschoolers & The Real World

Recently got this question from another homeschooling mom:

Q: "Making home a priority is so important. What do I say to those people (Christians) who say, "Get off of your island!"; "You are so shielded from the real world."; "Your children will never know how to act in the real world - you are crippling them."; "You need to let other people invest in the lives of your children." Seriously - people say this stuff to me. I never know how to respond."

A: I do not know the age of the mother asking this question... and that certainly affects my reply. But here are my thoughts in response to her question; please feel free to add your response in the comments section.

I think receiving these comments when one's children are young is, frankly, absurd. But to the homeschooling community in general, there is a tendency for some of these things to be true about our children if we are not careful to get them to a point where they can wisely, safely and healthily live IN the world by the time they are adults. Ours is a society with transgender kindergarteners and porn addictions, teen pregnancies and same-sex marriage. Just using google can Pretending like these things don't exist is not a choice that will serve our children well.

I've proposed my thoughts about that in an article called "Thoughts on Sheltering". Michael Pearl has also put out a series of articles called "The Cloistered Homeschooler Syndrome" that I would recommend to every homeschooler. I absolutely would recommend a process of prayerfully and carefully talking through real life issues, and slowly but surely and intentionally releasing our children so that they can wisely live in the world.

I say all of that because I don't know how old your children are. If they are older, I'd encourage you to read the above mentioned articles and prayerfully consider ways that you can release your children into adulthood in the real world in a meaningful & intentional way. But if they are younger, I'd just either not say anything, or if I was really being challenged (more than just an occasional comment), I'd reference Deut. 6, Proverbs, and other places that show that parents are to be the primary teachers and "input" into their children's lives, particularly when they are young.

One other random thought-- I was interested to note that the very first mention of motherhood in the bible is when GOD says "a man shall leave his mother" in reference to Adam & Eve's union... from the very beginning-- before there were even children, LEAVING was the whole point. I think we as moms need to remember that, particularly as our children grow older.

But to moms of young children, these concerns are ridiculous. I don't want other first graders "socializing" my son when he ought to be learning. I can do a much better job socializing my son about real world things he'll encounter as an adult rather than having him exist in a microcosm where Bratz and Wii games are the most important things, thankyouverymuch. :) Additionally, God instructs me to be teaching my children diligently. So, that's what I'm doing. The time for outside input will come later.

But for now, I get the opportunity to pour in as much of the Lord, His Word, and His wisdom into my children, and I don't want to squander that.

Do Dreams Ever Have Meanings?

While taking a nap over this last weekend, I had a dream. It was a bizarre dream. Included in the cast of characters was Laura (my best friend from high school), Voddie Baucham, the ex-wife of my junior high choir director (huh?), a group of terrorists with their black hoodies on, and me in an outfit that-- apparently-- had the magical quality of changing into a swimsuit and towel right about the time you enter auditoriums that have glass staircases. We were on a train ride. All I know is, I absolutely was NOT the one who took snack items from the open bags of the terrorists, OK?

So some dreams are weird, right? Most of the time I don't remember them, but this one I did. And I'm thinking as I wake up, "wow, what a weird dream." But maybe, if I was Pharoah of Egypt (sidenote: by the way, this hypothetical situation is not a hidden confession about how I feel about Sarah Palin as VP, OK?)... but, perhaps if I were super-powerful, I might ask of my advisors, "what in the world was THAT dream about?"

And surely they'd say, "Oh powerful one, we are all convinced that the reason for that whacked out dream is related to the fact that you've gone through jet lag twice in the last three weeks with your two youngest children, and you are completely and utterly dog-tired." And they'd be right.

But it did make me wonder, what was it about the dreams we hear about in the Bible that made them interpret-worthy? Did they happen over and over? (Some of them did.... but then again, many of us have the same or similar dreams multiple times, don't we? Does that mean we should automatically be seeking their meaning?) Was there a surreal quality about them that set them apart? Had they had all their dreams interpreted up to that point, or were these unique situations?

Do you ever find meanings in your dreams? Do you think this is or is not a valid thing to do? Does God still sometimes speak through dreams? I don't have any answers on this one... it's just something I'm curious about after having had a dream train ride with a gun held to my head because the terrorists thought I took their Twinkies (who would be so stupid as to take THEIR twinkies? And who even LIKES Twinkies anyhow?)

ANSWERS & ADVICE: "Older Women, Teach the Younger Women..."

So we have a good question up for discussion today... it involves the practical application of a very important passage of Scripture addressing us as Christian women-- Titus 2:3-5. Here it is for your quick reference:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Here's today's question:

I am a 45 year old woman and am trying to be very purposeful in fulfilling the Titus 2 mandate of older women teaching the younger women. I remember what it was like as a young mom, wishing there were some older women who would take an interest in me. Although there were a few, at times I felt alone. I have not forgotten what that felt like, and now have made it my goal to reach out to as many younger women as I can. In doing this I have run into some things that I did not anticipate, and I am wondering if you might have some ideas as to how I can effectively reach out and minister to younger women, and how to deal with some of the things I have experienced.

There are times when I have had young moms over and their children are completely out of control. It makes it hard to talk or think! I have had little children stand on my couch and jump up and down...and the mom thought it was cute. I have had them help themselves to things in my home, and the parent not even correct them. I do not expect perfection, as I know that they are learning, but it seems like most "church" moms are not spanking and disciplining their children. They normally tell me how they are working with their children, and what they are telling me is not biblical discipline. They are being "controlled" by their toddlers, and they don't even know it! There are times when they will make a comment about my older children and how they want their children to be like mine...but when I tell them about how we spanked and that I was home a lot in order to train my children, they are not interested in hearing that. They perceive it as being "too much". They seem to want the fruit, but dont want to go through the process!

The other thing I have experienced is that many younger women only want to be with peers and bounce things off them. They do not seem interested in spending time with someone they see as "old". Recently I invited a local "moms group" to have their monthly meeting in my home. I wanted to pamper them and do something special to encourage them. I served some fun brunch food and coffee. I put together a gift bag for each mom. I tried to make my home welcoming and to reach out to them. My 18 year old daughter was here to help with the children so that the mom's could relax. We were all ready. They arrived...and I was pretty much ignored the entire morning. I would attempt to make conversation with them,but they were not interested. They spent the time talking among themselves. I also struggled a little as moms changed dirty diapers on my new couch, fed a one year old red yogurt on my furniture, a two year old ate a strawberry on the couch...and everyone thought it was fine. The meeting ended, they left, I shut door, and felt a real sense of disappointment.

I even had a young mom tell me once that she couldn't stand being around older women because all they wanted to do was teach her!

So, what is an older woman to do? How are we supposed to deal with having little children in our homes who are not controlled? Should I say something, or stay quiet for the sake of attempting to "minister"? How can we reach out to young women who are not interested? In this day and age I am finding that the mind set of young moms is quite different than it was when my children were little. It seems like they are so used to being "age segregated" that concept of spending time with those who are older than you is somewhat foreign.

Although I have had a few very special friendships with some younger women, I am finding it to be frustrating as I am finding most of them seem to know it all, and have very little use for me! I would appreciate any input or ideas as to how I could more effectively reach out to the young women of this generation!

Thank you!
Gina

So, Making Home readers, what's your response for Gina? Especially those of you young moms who have (here at MH & at other online locales) asked for and bemoaned the lack of Titus 2 women in your life?

Quick Query: What Useful Skill Do You Wish You Had?

It's been a while since I've heard from many of you... so, in an attempt to draw you out of your online "shells", I have this question for you:

If you could pick ONE of these useful homemaking crafts/skills to instantly acquire and be able to use in your everyday life, which would you pick?

(A) Sewing - to make clothing, draperies, and other cloth goods that look professional
(B) Cake Decorating - to bake and design beautiful cakes, from the simple and elegant to the elaborate and detailed (great talent to have for kids' birthday parties!)
(C) Furniture Refinishing - to take hand-me-down or antique/used furniture and wisely select fabrics, recovering and refinishing to look elegant and professionally done
(D) Knitting/Crocheting - to make nice-looking quality afghans, sweaters, and other items from yarn
(E) Carpentry - to design and craft quality furniture and other useful wooden items
(F) Painting - for everything from wall hangings to detailed decorative painting on furniture and walls to designing unique wall treatments

Please share which you would pick and WHY-- how it would be helpful in your current life! :) Can't wait to hear from you!

Graphic from allposters.com: Alphonse Mucha, Moterosso Villa

Quick Query: What Did Your Parents Do RIGHT?

As human beings, it's part of our nature (I think) to examine what our parents did & didn't do, and (because they, too, are human beings) come up with things that we didn't like so much about our upbringing. I'm sure we could each name something.

Today, though, I just wanted to share with you one thing that my parents did RIGHT, and invite you to do the same. I should say up front that my parents did lots of things well, the most important of which was introducing me to Jesus Christ and teaching me to love and serve Him.

But here's my answer that I was thinking about today (which is why I'm asking the question):
Growing up, my parents instilled in me a firm belief that I could do anything I wanted to if I worked hard enough and put my mind to it. This wasn't in a feminist, "you can be just like a man" sort of way-- but it applied to everything; I really believed that whether in school or with friends or athletics or life goals, if I wanted to accomplish something and worked hard, I could do it.

When I wanted to go to Russia when I was 13, they helped me raise money to go. When I wanted to play junior varsity tennis (despite not being a very athletic teen), they bought me a new racket (with purple strings) for Christmas and encouraged me, and I really enjoyed playing and did well at many tournaments for a year or two. When I switched college majors multiple times (from vocal performance to english to political science), I don't remember ever hearing a, "Give it a rest, Jessica". They cheered me on and let me try things, and (even if I didn't "win" or wasn't "#1") I never felt like I would fail if I gave something a good, honest try .

What this has meant in my life is that when I decided that I wanted to start learning how to be a better cook, my cooking skills rapidly increased. I had confidence that recipes and culinary experiments would turn out all right, and they did and generally do. When I wanted to learn more about crocheting so I could make more interesting projects, I bought a book and dove in-- and now each of my kids has a very unique blanket (I'll post pics of Silas' blanket once I finish!). When I want to learn about something, I know I can set my mind to it and get a good grasp on a subject within a reasonable amount of time. When I've had languages to learn because we've lived overseas, I've not hit a "I can't do this" wall. These are some of the practical, everyday ways that my parents' love and support has affected me. I'm so thankful that they "believed in me" and taught me to work hard to learn about the things that are important to me.

So, today's "quick query" is this:
What's something YOUR parents did right? And how does it affect you in your life today?

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Christian Separation? Porn, Anger, Unbelief in Marriage

Wow, ladies, this is a difficult question brought to you from a woman in a very tough situation. Read her words carefully and, if you feel led, offer your wise counsel and biblical advice. She sounds desperate and needs truth, grace, and encouragement, as well as insight into how to handle these things biblically.

Jess,
I am writing for desperately needed advice. I just told my husband that I am filing for a legal separation. I am a Christian and I know what the bible speaks concerning divorce, so I can't make that choice at this time. I am really in need of objective advice from others. I've been married for 4 years. During those years I've isolated myself from close relationships because I've become depressed and do not want others to see the real issues in our home. I am seeking separation because I recently heard my husband, while out with co-workers, say he was looking for someone to sleep with! He was also making many comments about the bodies of the females who were around. I heard this because I called him on his cell and he did not really turn it off when he thought he did, so I heard his conversation until I finally hung up. He has also been watching porn and hanging with friends who see nothing wrong with it. I have also found an email that he sent to a co-worker asking her to start a relationship. He also set up a myspace page listing that he was single and got lots of private emails from females sending innappropriate pictures. He constantly goes to bars with friends and comes home in the wee hours of the morning. His money habits have gotten us both into debt with extremely low credit scores. He also says he's no longer attracted to me because I've gained weight (I went from a size 10 to a 14 and I am in the process of losing the extra pounds).

And the worst thing is he, about 6 months ago, announced he no longer believes that Jesus ever existed and that most of the bible is a lie. He is also rude, curses in front of me and our 2 year-old, smokes and drinks in the basement, has an anger problem where he curses me out loudly, and he's pushed me and/or threw things at me about 5 times. We've tried counseling - no change. I've also talked to my pastor, but he has never spoken to my husband about his behavior, so I feel hopeless about getting help from my "spiritual leader." And my in-laws act afraid to confront my husband even though they know about and say they hate what's going on. I hate to break up my family, but I can no longer stay in this type of marriage. I've only stayed this long because of my love for Jesus and my son. Please help!

OK, Making Home readers, what do you have to say to this woman?

POLL: How Often Do You Study the Bible?

I just put up a new poll, and I'd love for you to share your thoughts. Here's the question:
HOW OFTEN DO YOU PERSONALLY STUDY THE BIBLE? (Not in a church setting; I'm talking about personal study time actually reading/studying the Bible.)

Here are the options:

• Every day.
• Most days (5+ days a week)
• About half the time (around 3 days a week)
• Maybe one day a week
• I use printed Bible study materials (like Beth Moore), but rarely study the actual Bible itself.
• I rarely study the Bible (less than once a week).
  
• I can't remember the last time I studied the Bible.
• I never personally study the Bible.
  

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Homeschool Book Recommendations?

About 2 months ago, I received a request for recommendations about homeschool books from a reader. Doug was out of town for over 2 weeks, and so I saved the message with the intention to respond when things settled back down, but did not respond until last night (shame on me for a VERY tardy response). Well, the e-mail just returned to me. I occasionally get asked about this anyway, so I thought I'd start an open thread asking you for YOUR homeschool book recommendations. Specifically, Hedi was looking for recommendations about:

1. books that give an overview of the basics of homeschooling
2. books that would give more insight into what homeschooling is and why one would do it (for example, if a relative is wary of your decision to homeschool and you want to give them an overview of what it is, and why it's a good choice... a good book that you could put in their hands to give them more "answers")

So, for those of you readers who homeschool, want to homeschool, or have homeschooled, what say you? What books have been powerful in your journey towards homeschooling? What books have encouraged you as a homeschooling parent? What books have you recommended to others as must-reads for the homeschooler? (I'll share my recommendations in the comments as well.) Can't wait to hear from you!

POLL: Baby Names- Does the Meaning Matter?

Just curious how you guys see this issue... Some people put great stock in the meanings of the baby names they choose. Biblically and historically, this was often an influence in the naming of children. Some people might even see name meanings as a sort of expectation, prophecy, or prayer for what the child will be like: maybe brave, or a strong man of faith... perhaps a gracious woman or a woman of renown.

Nowadays, in America, it seems that meanings aren't as critically important to us. For one thing, I don't know any little boys actually named "Sonofmyrighthand" or "Godisgracious". But I do know people named Benjamin and John. The meanings of girls' names can sometimes be more easily pegged: for example, girls are often named after character traits: Faith, Hope, Grace, and Charity.

So I'm curious how you see this issue... how important is the meaning of the name to you?

• VERY IMPORTANT: It may even be prophetic in the child's life... this is a high priority for me when choosing names.
  
• IMPORTANT: I like a good meaning and select names with that in mind.
• WORTH CONSIDERING, BUT NOT CRUCIAL
• NOT IMPORTANT: If I like the name, it matters very little what it means.
• IRRELEVANT: Meanings are completely meaningless. I don't consider this at all.

Answer the poll on the right hand sidebar, and leave me a comment! :) I would be interested in hearing not only what you've named your children and why (if you just want to leave the meanings for anonymity's sake, that's OK)... but also what YOUR name means and if you like it, and if you've lived up to it in any way.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

[Graphic generated at redkid.com]

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Past Sexual Sin Affecting Marital Intimacy

An anonymous reader brought this question for your consideration:


I recently married my husband. We are both Christians, both with past sexual sin. We are in crisis. I never have, and still don't, enjoy sex. I don't know what to do. I have no sex drive. My husband is thinking the worst of our marriage, feeling as though I don't find him attractive, etc. I really do love him, but I don't have any sexual desire towards him at all. Looking back, the lust of the world is so much more appealing. I know it's bad to say, but it's the truth. How can I get a sex drive? Please help.



Think about what you would tell this woman if she came to you for advice, and leave your advice and answers in the comments. So many women struggle with these same themes... past sexual sin, lack of desire for intimacy, etc. Perhaps you, too, have struggled with these things... if so, I'd invite you to share your thoughts, struggles, and successes in this area. I hope that the advice shared here will be biblical and helpful to any and all who may struggle with these or similar issues.

*** Because this is a sensitive subject, and I want to encourage your ability to share openly, I will publish anonymous responses to this question. ***



If you have a question you'd like to submit for the Making Home Answers & Advice column, CLICK HERE.

Quick Query: Which Risky Thing Would YOU Choose, if there were no risk involved?

SO... I'm curious... on a recent post, I revealed that I would SO engage in risky behaviors if I didn't have a loving husband who protects me from my own risky ways. :) I would love to go sky diving, hang gliding, bungee jumping, cliff diving, base jumping... I really would love it!

But until the kids are grown, I'll wait.

So I know you're not all like me, actually wanting to do these things, but I'm curious... if you could engage in a risky extreme sports kind of action and it wouldn't have the risks associated with it (death, injury, etc.), but you could still experience the actual event and the adrenaline rush of it, which of these would you choose?

(Come on, play along... it's no fun if you don't answer!)


IF YOU COULD PICK ONE OF THESE, WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE:

• (A) SKY DIVING
• (B) BUNGEE JUMPING OVER A HUGE RIVER OR GORGE
• (C) HANG GLIDING
• (D) DEEP SEA DIVING WITH SHARKS
• (E) HARDCORE OFF-TRAIL SKIING/SNOWBOARDING
• (F) MOUNTAIN CLIMBING (like K2, Everest, etc.)
• (G) CLIFF DIVING OVER A DEEP WATER BODY (landing in the water, of course!)
• (H) BASE JUMPING (jumping off of a high cliff with just a parachute)

Leave your answer in the comments! :)

POLL: Which Version of the Bible?

So just out of curiosity, which version of the English Bible do you primarily read/prefer? (There's a corresponding poll in the sidebar to your right, if you're reading this on or before 11/11/07.... Please vote as well as leaving a comment!)

You may be like me, and have several different versions in your home for a variety of purposes... but which version is it that you prefer above all others? Which is it that you would choose to take with you if you only had room in your suitcase for one Bible?

The options:

• King James Version (KJV)
  
• New International Version (NIV)
• New American Standard (NASB)
• The Living Bible (TLB)
• New Living Translation (NLT)
• English Standard Version (ESV)
• Amplified Bible (AB)
• Other (TNIV, NKJV, Holman, Dolby, or some other version)

I'd love to hear from you about why you love the version you use. PLEASE, though, no bashing of other versions... but PLEASE DO comment and share why you like the one you read and what is meaningful and important to you about that particular version.

POLL: HOW WERE YOU EDUCATED ABOUT "THE BIRDS & THE BEES"?

I've got a new poll up- it goes along with the series we're in the middle of ("How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex"). I thought it would be interesting to get a "feel" for how most of us were told about sex/intimacy.

Here are the options:

• My parents gave me TOO much information (personal details, descriptions, etc.). I wish I would have known LESS.
• My parent(s) gave me an appropriate introduction to sexuality. It may not have been perfect, but they did a pretty good job.
• My parent(s) did the best they could, but I wouldn't do it the same way.
• I got a clinical/biological description with no love or enjoyment as part of the discussion.
• My parent(s) gave inaccurate information (babies come from storks, kissing gets you pregnant, etc.). I had to get my "real" sex ed from other sources.
• My parent(s) gave me a lecture, and made me feel that sex was wrong or bad.
• I heard absolutely nothing about sex from my parent(s). Whatever I learned, I learned from other sources (friends, TV, etc.).
• I was sexually abused as a child and that was my introduction to sexuality.
• Other (please leave an answer, even anonymously)

I tried to cover most of the bases, but already have realized that there may be some I didn't "hit". As always, I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share everything on your mind... (don't worry about "writing a book") And since this is a sensitive subject, anonymous comments will be published. So let me hear from you- How were YOU told about sex when you were young?

Poll: How Should Christians Talk About Sex?

Over the past year, I've written a lot about sex.

And I've gotten a lot of comments, both publicly, and via e-mail, about the topics I've written about. Most of the feedback has, overwhelmingly, been positive. But I've definitely gotten negative comments as well.

So I thought I'd ask you: how should Christians talk about sex?

Click your answer(s) in the poll at the top right of the sidebar (you CAN choose multiple answers)... and then leave a comment about what you chose (if you want to). I included answers to represent most of the various comments I've gotten, but if you have something else to say beyond what options I wrote out, click "other" and leave a comment about what you mean. For this post, because it's a sensitive topic, I WILL allow anonymous comments to be published.

Of course, you can share anything you like about this issue... the parameters of discussion that are acceptable to you... what DOES make you feel uncomfortable... what topics you personally would like to see addressed... what topics you think need to be addressed (even if it doesn't apply to you), etc. Anything you want to share on this issue of "how Christians should talk about sex" is welcome.

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Dating Without Direction

A reader sent this question in this week:

This is not my situation, but is happening to a friend of mine, Michelle, and we are perplexed. There is a man at her church that she spends a lot of time with, and they often go to plays, dinner, etc., together. (She's 30, he's maybe 28. They're in the same age range.) They have never "called" their outings dates, but for all intents and purposes, they seem to be.

However, it's been over a year, and no romantic feelings have been expressed, even though my friend has them and it appears the man has them for her. It seems as though he might just be shy about bringing it up, and Michelle's thing is that she doesn't want to be the pursuer in the relationship. She wants to be pursued!

So my question is this: when is it appropriate to "pull a Ruth," if you will, and also, how would she go about doing this? (Obviously, the situation is different cause this guy isn't Michelle's "kinsman redeemer", but ya know!) ;)


So, Making Home readers, full of wisdom and a variety of life experiences, what say you? How would you advise Michelle in this situation? What would you say to her if she was your friend and came to you for advice? Leave your answers in the comments!

ADVICE & ANSWERS: In-Law/Parent Relationships as a Newlywed?

Allison, a newly married Making Home reader, brings this question today:

I am a young wife, ( I'm 19), and my husband and I have been married for not quite 4 months. The city we live in could be considered a "college-town," and my husband and I met at church while he was a student there. It is also my hometown, so until the day of our wedding, I lived at home with my parents and younger brother.

Now that I've given you a little background, my question is basically this - what should my relationship with my parents look like now that I am married? I realize that they are no longer my source of authority, but that my husband is. My question is not so much one of authority, but of time and relationship. How much time is appropriate to spend with them? What are some basic "Do's" and "Dont's?"


So what would you say to this newlywed? What advice would you give, from the Bible, from your experiences, and from what you've seen in your own life and the lives of others? I look forward to reading the advice you'd give to Allison!

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Brand Names?

Today I bring you another question from a reader. Shannon asks about something we all deal with, but we may all deal with it in slightly (or sometimes dramatically) different ways:

I would like to know people's view of brandism. I think I made that word up, but what I mean is I want to know to what extent do we allow our children to have certain brands (i.e. Disney characters, Nick Jr. characters, etc.) My parents went to Disney World and sent a LOT of Disney stuffed animals, dishes, toys and such. I want to know if I should continue to allow my daughters to play with certain toys just because they are a certain brand. Further explaining my situation, my oldest daughter loves princesses and the most common princess characters are, of course, Disney. I'm o.k. with her liking princesses because she is a princess - her Creator is the King. I also really like what Dora the Explorer teaches my kids, but is it o.k. to allow these "brands" into my home...or a better question might be, what is allowing this brand into my home teaching my children? ~Shannon

Interesting question, I think- so what say you, readers? What advice would you give to this mom with young children trying to determine how to deal with all the characters and brand names in her home? How do you deal with it?

Some related questions you might consider when you give your answer: Are there characters/brand names you have banned from your home? If so, why? Are there characters/brand names you allow? If so, why? How do you deal with the overwhelming marketing aimed at young children? Do you deal with gifts differently than things you yourself purchase for your children?

So come out with it! Let's hear your thoughts on this interesting question!


*** Remember that if you have a question for the readers that you'd like to have featured in the "ADVICE & ANSWERS" column, you can click here & follow these instructions. This feature depends on YOU, so send in your questions! ***

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Infertility Treatments

Here's the first of what I hope will be MANY interesting questions brought to you, the readers, by you, the readers:

My husband and I are in the midst of a struggle with unexplained infertility. We have had all the "easy" tests done and have stopped for now because the next steps become more invasive and expensive. We are considering adoption, although it will take time to save all the money. We have looked into foster to adopt and private adoption and are considering some options there.

My main question is about infertility testing and treatment. We believe the Lord opens and closes the womb. We believe that whatever options we pursue must be done in faith. We would move ahead with adoption by faith or move ahead with medical options, hoping the Lord would work that way, acknowledging him to be the one to open the womb. If I had cancer or some other illness of course I would try everything medically that I could. Infertility is another result of the fall, but it somehow seems different because it involves a life coming into being. I know we will take the path the Lord leads us on, but am interested in your thoughts. ~Anonymous


So, what say you, readers? Read her question carefully, and consider: What advice would you give? What would you tell a friend? What would be your answer if you were this woman's situation?



*** Remember that if you have a question for the readers that you'd like to have featured in the "ADVICE & ANSWERS" column, you can click here & follow these instructions. This feature depends on YOU, so send in your questions! ***