7 Quick Takes Friday - #16

Here's my 7 Quick Takes for this Friday, February 25th. I'll share more pics of the last 9 months, while I'm at it...

1. HOMEWARD BOUND. It's interesting to be heading back to Texas. There is a bittersweetness about leaving here several months earlier than we'd planned. I'd hoped to get a little more language under my belt before returning home for a visit. I only recently stopped having "I-hate-it-here-we-should-move-back-to-Texas" moments every 6-months or so... in fact, I have even grown to enjoy living here over the last 12-18 months. So there's a weird sense of it being both wonderful and a (teeny) bit sad. Of course, we're VERY excited to see family, so that will be awesome.




2. Plans for our time in the US- As I think of what we'll do with our 9 months in the US, we have all kinds of do-able and potentially wild ideas. I'm thinking of getting an Entertainment book. We're also looking forward to getting great homegrown meats, cheeses and other treats to enjoy during our time there. We're considering Six Flags season passes for us & the boys. There's talk of a round-the-country Amtrak trip. On that one, I can't decide if it'll be awesome, or if we're nuts. And I'm not far from joking when I say that within the first 36-hours or so, I plan to buy a 2-pound block of cheddar cheese, and that our family could consume the whole thing in about 3-minutes flat. Our oldest son said the other day, "let's make a deal that we have to eat bacon in some form every single day while we're there." :) Maybe not every day, LOL! ... but often. There are some treats that leave me just about salivating... this is what 4-years of deprivation does to a person, LOL.
   
3. Friendships overseas are different (even if it's with other Americans!). Tomorrow, we'll reconnect with a family we were very close to (and churched with) for more than a year here. They're passing through, and it will be special to see them. One thing I've noticed with friendships overseas is that it seems like they are in a constant state of flux. It seems like just about the time we get close to someone, they (or we) have to move. And then, because we live in somewhat of a transit/intermediate city, there are people who pass through that we see very irregularly, but get to host in our home for whatever time they get to stay.
   


There are more ebbs and flows to relationships overseas, and it has taken some getting used to on my part. I really miss the long-standing, steady, dependable nature of relationships that I had in Texas, but there are moments of depth and really spending time together here (for example, hosting people, even entire families, in our home for several days or longer) that we never had in the US. And it teaches you to go deep, quickly, if you really want to know someone, and to make good use of your time together.




4. Moses is eating more, and doing more, than I remember any of our other children doing at this age. Walking around furniture, waving bye-bye, doing sign-language for all done, eating 2 bananas (or 7 food cubes!) at a sitting... he's a little miracle! I love him so much...
   
5. I said this to a friend the other day, and she laughed at me, but it's really true: from our vantage, it doesn't seem like we have a crazy amount of children. It doesn't feel anything other than normal. Granted, our normal is different from other people's normal, but really... it doesn't feel excessive. In fact, we rather like it. I love that our kids have playmates at the ready. I love that when I pull out a book, or am teaching a concept to a younger child, the older children who have already done that thing or read that book, get all happy about it and encourage their younger sibling. I love that we have a family culture... ours includes tickling (requested by the kids!), Cosbys, memorizing scripture passages together, goofiness, cooking together, family-hide-and-go-seek, and more... but it's fun to have things like this to share with so many people. Yes, I know that these 4 boys will probably eat us out of house and home come 10 years from now, and yes, I know that we'll have to be more creative about how to get these kids to college, but I love our family.



I guess I'm just sharing this for some random woman out there, who has some "different" or unique desires for your family... maybe it includes more kids than normal, or homeschooling, or foster-parenting, or something else that seems unusual from the outside... I just want to encourage you that different can be really good. Really great, actually.




6. Do you know about Sir Ken Robinson? This talk by him, called "The Element", gave Doug & I a lot of food for thought... both for *us* and for how to guide our children as they move towards adulthood. I particularly loved the video (included in his talk) by Blue Man Group. The talk is about a variety of things, including educational systems, the joy of being "in your element", and how we learn. I've been thinking lately about the differences in culture and lives that caused the pioneer era to produce a rash of inventors and creative thinkers, vs. how kids are currently being educated (like the Blue Man Group guy says, like a train of empty cars that we just "fill up" and then move down the track). Anyway, lots of interesting thoughts were flying after listening to that lecture.
   
7. A few interesting links/posts on various topics:

• Embracing motherhood.
• Here's a GREAT post by Catherine that sums up a lot about how our culture views family.
• Another post about day care, since my mention of it a few weeks ago caused such a stir.
• Have you been reading this love story? While it's very long, their story shows God's sovereign hand, and I think it also highlights many of my concerns with overbearing, controlling parents.
• What makes a house a HOME?
• Write an anti-Psalm. What an interesting way to really see the meaning of a psalm.

ENJOY! Have a great weekend!

~Jess

7 Quick Takes Friday - #15

Gotta make this quick, lots to do!

1. After the mold problem, and hitting many different dead ends, we decided that instead of committing to an apartment and paying rent on it while we're gone, we'd rather head back to the US a bit earlier than we'd planned. So, we'll be heading back in March, just a matter of weeks! Wahoo! We're all excited to see family & friends, to partake of all the delicious foods Texas has to offer, and see that wide open sky... with lots and lots of grassy fields... once again.
   
   (By the way, I did get all of our family favorite recipes posted, so if you're interested, check them out!)
   
2. Praying with our eyes open. The other day, we got together with a large group of friends and while we were praying for each other, I (of course) had my eyes open, watching Moses since he's now in full "get-into-everything" mode. As I watched him, I noticed that the two other moms of little ones were the only other people in the room with their eyes open as well. It seemed to me to be a very good analogy for this season of life... praying with our eyes open. Seeing the everyday, physical things of life around us while trying to keep mentally focused on eternal, Godward things. Moms of little ones, praying with our eyes open. (I suppose here is where I ruin the analogy though, and admit that I've never really liked closing my eyes during prayer, LOL.)
   
3. Packing up a house isn't a fun thing to do. But I do think it's easier, having sorted and purged regularly-- since we've moved so many times in the last 5 years-- than it would be if we were just doing it for the first time in. Do you sort & purge regularly? It's becoming a way of life for me.
   
4. No S Diet. Sometimes I'm getting discouraged these days, but the other day, I weighed myself and noticed I'm down a bit more. I can't quite remember anymore where I started, but I think I've lost a couple pounds in the last couple weeks. I am noticing huge differences in my amount of self-control, and my cravings for sweet things. I just don't WANT sweets so bad these days... whereas (have I already shared this?), I often normally feel just like Chris Farley in this old SNL skit.
   
5. Style. Culture. "The Latest". Though I love Project Runway & What Not To Wear, I'm not personally a fashion person, but ya know, we've been out of America for basically 5 years, give or take (we were back for 7 months in 2007). So I need your help. Anything you want to share? I finally looked up a Larry King interview with Lady Gaga so I'd know who she is. And it seems like 80's fashion is coming back in style (can I say "yuck!"?). Anything I need to know? Any new things in American culture you want to tell me about so I don't feel so out of sorts?
   
6. I've been wanting to write a few posts lately, and just don't have time- one about how Doug & I came to the decision of me staying at home, even while I was working at a dream job in Washington D.C., another about how to help young kids do well in travel situations (boy have we had experience with that!). I also am remembering that I still need to write up my labor experiences with the last 3 kiddos (sorry I didn't get those written up in time for some of you who live overseas and requested that I do that last year!). One is already half typed up, and I just need to finish it up. Anything else you might put on my suggested writing list? I'm thinking that while in the States, I may have little pockets of times with not much to do. (Maybe that's a fantasy dream-world; I've never lived there with 5 kids, ha!)
   
7. Love, love, LOVE this song! We've all been dancing (even Moses, he bounces up and down on his little hands, ha!) to this song the last week or two. Lecrae is one of our family favorites!
   

7 Quick Takes Friday - #14

Ready for 7 Quick Takes? Here we go...

(this post also contains random photos from the last 9 months. Hope you like them.)

1. Moses ate TWO WHOLE bananas for dinner tonight. Normal, good-sized bananas. And he'll only be 7 months old tomorrow. Isn't that nuts? Who eats this much at 7 months old?


2. I finished Stepping Heavenward a few days ago, and decided that I think I'm going to keep it in an annual rotation. It's so relevant for the life of a young Christian mother-- I highly recommend it!


3. The No S Diet is still going well. I think this week, the thing I've noticed most has been the way self-control is starting to come more naturally. When I was cooking tonight, I didn't want to sneak a bite or two before I sat at the table. Last night when I sat down at the table, I didn't mind waiting to cut up the kids' food before I got to mine. For a mondo-nursing mom like me (read: hungry 24/7), that's some real self-control. I'm impressed with this No S lifestyle. My smart husband said, "so basically, self-control breeds more self-control". I think that's it!
   
   
4. Massages. I love em. It's my "luxury thing", I guess. I hadn't had one in years, so last year for my birthday/our anniversary/Christmas, I asked for a package of a few massages. I've spaced them out since October, and now I have one left. I'm thinking of just getting a classic full-body Swedish massage, though I really really love reflexology. What's your luxury thing?


5. Thoughts on moving. We've had a rough go of it, trying to find an apartment. And I'm really going to miss our great view of this vast city. Most likely, any apartment we take after this one will have a view of other buildings... it just doesn't get much better than this. At least not in our price range. :)
   


6. I made beignets (New Orleans' style donut-like pastries) for dinner tonight. Man, they are so good! There's enough dough left over to have them breakfast a couple days this week too! These things are tasty and so so easy!
   


7. Hairstyles. I'm a long-hair girl. I've gone short before, but I really prefer long. Don't really care for bangs. So what am I to do? I don't have time to keep layers looking good... any ideas for me? Links to pictures of ideas? Anything? I need to refresh the look, and would love to hear your advice.

Have a great weekend!

Mommy Guilt?

[Note: the pics in this article don't go with it, and they're not even altogether recent. Sorry about that. I'm browsing pics in iPhoto from the last 9 months, and just thought I'd share some that caught my eye.]

I've seen a heap of articles that tackle or reference "mommy guilt" as a natural part of motherhood. Maybe I'm weird, but I don't live with guilt as a mom, on an ongoing basis. I really don't.

Oh, of course as a sinful person, I feel guilt that I am not some sort of "perfect" mom... but the sense I get from these articles is that there's something more at work here. Of course there are regrets about my failures as a wife & mom... every human being deals with those. I wish I could say my kids didn't know what it sounds like for mom to yell. I wish I could say I'd only, ever, been kind in my responses to them. But they, like every other human who has ever lived, have a sinful, human mom. And I just trust that God will use that in their lives for their good (and I also submit myself to God for His continuing work in my life).

But again, I often get the sense from articles and news pieces that moms feel or should feel a lot of guilt over the various choices we make as moms... or that it's normal for moms to feel and live with guilt.

*EXAMINE* YOUR GUILT

The reason I'm writing is just to say, if that's you, and you feel guilt, I'd encourage you to hold that guilt up to the light. Examine it in the full light of Scripture, and in the full view of your husband, and yourself, and the aims you have for your family.

HELPFUL GUILT?

Not all guilt is bad... for example:

• If I'm feeding my kids junk food too often, and feeling guilt because they're sick and cranky and having bathroom issues, then that might be a helpful guilt to jar me into reality.
• If I'm feeling guilty because I've been dealing with my children in a way that is angry, belittling, or hurtful to them, then that is a good guilt, to motivate me to stop it and treat them with love & kindness, even while disciplining.
• If I've put my children in daycare, the guilt I feel as I walk away might be prodding me to consider that perhaps my actions don't match up with our aims as a family.
• If I want to throw in the towel while breastfeeding because mastitis hurts so dadgum bad, or because I'm just tired in the throes of early weeks with a newborn, the perceived guilt may help me to press on through an undoubtedly hard season.
• If I'm feeling frustrated with my weight even while I reach for the extra dessert or sip on my calorie-loaded drink all day long, then my guilt ought to compel me to change my behavior!

UNHELPFUL GUILT

But if it's a guilt over something that can't/shouldn't be undone, like:

• not having enough money to buy certain things your child wants
• not being able to spend all your day focusing on your firstborn now that you've had a second baby
• not being able to keep house like that mom whose kids are grown
• not being able to afford the beautifully-decorated suburban dream home like other people your age seem to be able to do
• not looking like ______ family that you see pictures of on a blog or Facebook page
• not being able to ____(use cloth diapers, breastfeed for "x" length of time, afford toddler gymnastic classes, cook with only organic ingredients, etc.)____ that all the other young moms are talking about
• (or heck, sometimes even not being able to get a shower whilst caring for little ones!!!)

Well, I think those guilty feelings can be laid aside. Let them roll right off your back, and banish their return. Don't fret if you don't do everything someone else deems important!

We will each stand before God and account for what we've done with the treasures He's given us... so get in the Word, and get with your husband, and determine what your family values are. And then live in line with those things. And once you've examined it, either let your guilt shape the choices you make, or if it's the unhelpful kind, toss it out! Do away with Mommy guilt and live in the light.

7 Quick Takes Friday - #13

Here's another "7 Quick Takes Friday" on Saturday. Oh well. :) I apologize in advance that it's going to be whiny. It's been a rough couple of weeks.

1. Mold. Still. And it's already ruined book cases, and I've had to pitch books covered in mold. So we're likely going to need to move, again. It's been a rough go of it the last 2 weeks, looking for apartments. We've probably seen several dozen at this point, and of the three that have suited our 3 main goals (location close to a park, enough room for all 7 of us while still being in our price range, and no apparent mold issues now or in the past), one won't be ready for 2 months, and the other 2 have refused us on the basis of the number children we have. *sigh* I'm tired.
   
   
2. Moses is into everything, eating so well (pumpkins, mixed veggies, brown rice, oatmeal, and bananas-- I still make it at home- so easy if you're in that stage of life and want tips!) and figuring everything out... he is just a delightful little person. At least, in the midst of hard times, I have these sweet little people around me. Though it is true that they technically add to the responsibilities I have, they so much more bless me with their precious smiles, and the way that their very presence (both the responsibility of caring for them, and the responsibility for wisely teaching & loving them) drives me to the awareness of my own sinfulness, pride, and self-centeredness.
   
   
3. On that score, I don't want to glorify sin, but I do want to be real here. I don't want this to be a place where I share all the pretty, easy things and never tell you that I struggle with anger all too often (this is no new struggle), that my kids have heard rude responses to innocent questions this week, or that in all 5 years of living overseas, Texas has never looked so appealing.
   
   In the midst of all the clicking of car seats, and in and out looking at apartments, and no time to cook proper meals so everyone is exhausted and cranky cause we're eating junk and sitting in a dad-blasted car all the time (and I'm thankful we have a car!), I wish I could say I'd done well keeping my focus on God's perfect sovereignty. I wish I could say that the verse of one of my favorite hymns had been on my lips and in my heart all week, as it should have been:
   

   Praise to the Lord, who o'er all things so wondrously reigneth
   Shelters thee under His wings, yea so gently sustaineth
   Hast thou not seen how thy desires e'er have been
   Granted by what He ordaineth?

   Instead of seeing how God has given us friends and growth and precisely what we needed in every single apartment we've had overseas (of which there have been 5 in 5 years), I have been riding the rollercoaster of "ooh that apartment would be great, let me mentally arrange all our furniture in that apartment, oh yes, it will work out great, I'm so excited!" Only to be hit with "no", "no", and "no". And my attitude has been the worse for it. Christlikeness seems so far away.
   
   
4. I've been re-reading "Stepping Heavenward", and it is oh so appropriate for this season of my life. I've received both grace and truth through the words written by Prentiss. I can so identify with the main character's passion for life and desire for godliness in the face of her own humanity. Consider these passages:
   

   "Today I feel discouraged and disappointed. I certainly thought that if God really loved me and I really loved Him, I should find myself growing better day by day. But I am not improved in the least. Most of the time I spend on my knees, I am either stupid, feeling nothing at all, or else my head is full of what I was doing before I began to pray or what I am going to do as soon as I get through. I do not believe anyone else in the world is like me in this respect." (Ha!, to that last line!)

   ..."When I read the lives of good men and women who have died and gone to heaven, I find that they all like to sit and think about God and about Christ. Now I don't. I often try, but my mind flies off in a tangent."

5. In "Stepping Heavenward", Prentiss drafted this advice, given to Kate by an old friend:
   

   "You will imagine that it is best that He should at once enable you to see clearly. If it is, you may be sure He will do it. He never makes mistakes. But He often deals far differently with His disciples. He lets them grope their way in the dark until they fully learn how blind they are, how helpless, how absolutely in need of Him. What His methods will be with you I cannot foretell. But You may be sure that He never works in an arbitrary way. He has a reason for everything He does."

   Isn't it so very obvious that I needed to read this book at this particular moment? (See #1 & #3 on this list!!!) I think God has had a lot of self-confidence to work out of my heart and life, and I'm sorry to say that it's not all gone. I still revert to the natural tendency of my heart all too often, to rely on myself first and foremost and only turn to God when I've reached the very end of my own human strength. How backward, and yet, it's what I do again and again.
   
   
6. I'm still trying to simplify and de-clutter. Anyone have words of wisdom about how to do this while still being frugal and keeping what is necessary and helpful with a family of this size? I don't want to have to later re-purchase what we own now, if I can help it.


7. Four of my friends in various parts of the world have had babies in the last few weeks (congrats, Emily, Sandra, Shannon, and Allison!), and this week, two people I've known since high school announced their decisions to adopt... one a sweet little Korean infant boy, and the other a precious Chinese preschooler. There is so much joy in this world! If God brings me to your mind, please pray that I'll focus on the joyful things of life, and let the annoying things roll right off my back. Or even better, that somehow He'll show me how to embrace the difficult things too.

Best wishes to you for a good week...