When Your Husband Listens To You

Ever read Genesis 3? It's the chapter where sin enters the picture. One verse previous, Adam & Eve are frolicking in the perfect garden God crafted for them, naked & unashamed. But by Chapter 3, everything goes awry.

Genesis 3 teaches me, frames my theology, and makes me long to walk with God in Heaven. 

One thing I read there is haunting-- it stands as a warning to you and I.

It's in verse 17, just after Eve is told that having babies is gonna hurt:
To Adam he said, "Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, 'You shall not eat of it,' cursed is the ground because of you..."
Did you catch that first reason listed?

"BECAUSE YOU LISTENED"
It's terrifying, isn't it? 

Can you imagine God speaking of the advice and counsel you've given your husband and saying that because he listened to you, he, his work, and the entire world and everyone who ever lives in it, will be cursed?

"Because you listened to the voice of your wife..."

As married women of God, we must soberly evaluate the counsel we give to our husbands.  

Today I am asking myself, and I encourage you to consider:
  • Are my words to my husband infused with wisdom from Scripture?
  • Do I encourage him to walk in the Spirit or in the flesh?
  • Does my voice motivate and encourage him, or tear him down?
  • Can he rely on the counsel I give, knowing I don't speak out of temptation or emotion?
  • Can his heart trust in me?

How is God teaching and growing you in the area of being a godly counselor for your husband?


6 comments:

Elspeth said...

My husband was an unchurched guy when we married, so when he came to faith and realized that a lot of what I spouted was religious dogma rather than Biblical truth, it was a great blessing to me.

He read the Bible through new eyes, not filtered through all the stuff I was filtering it through from my childhood. As a result, I read through new eyes and was able to offer my counsel in a way that he was able to receive.

What I used to think was Scripture was often just my feelings about Scripture, and he would help me see that. Now, he knows that when I come to him, I'm coming with Truth, not just my feelings about what may or may not be Truth, and we've both grown as a result.

Tracy said...

Wow. As Voddie Baucham often says "If you can't say Amen, you oughta say ouch!" What a good reminder, Jess, that we need to be so careful with our words.

Anonymous said...

Yikes! I have read this passage so many times, yes I have missed this.

I needed this.

Thank you!

Kari

Jessica Connell said...

Elspeth,
I love your recent re-focusing in on Scripture & what your husband has to say. It's so good to evaluate our conceptions in light of Scripture, hold them up to the light, and really see if they hold water.


Tracy,
I *love* that phrase by Voddie Baucham. So true.


Kari,
It continually amazes me how God's Word is living & active & how often I come across something I've never seen before. Glad it helped you too. :)

Carrien said...

I came here from a fb link and if you please I respectfully disagree. You see, the responsibility lies with Adam, not with Eve. God curses Adam because he had a choice of what to do when Eve talked, and he chose what he knew to be disobedience. Adam had instructions, directly from God, regarding what to do with the fruit. Eve had only heard it from Adam. Adam chose her over the word of God.

I get where you are going with this, we should try to be wise women that our husbands can listen to with confidence. But in the end they aren't our responsibility, and neither are their actions, even if we gave them counsel and they listened to it.

Let's not elevate ourselves to some level or responsibility and control that we don't actually have. Perhaps it's better, in light of this passage, to pray that our husbands have the wisdom to be discerning in the counsel they take, and to be obedient even when someone close to them advises otherwise.

Because one of the first things a woman needs to learn, in any relationship and especially marriage, is that it's not all about us. It never was.

Jessica Connell said...

Carrien,
I don't at all think that it's all on women. You are absolutely right-- Adam was given the instructions, and Adam was the one ultimately held accountable. In Adam we have all become sinners (even though Eve was the one who partook first of the fruit).

I do however think that we are responsible for our own part. I am accountable for my words, and I don't want others to be harmed by the counsel I give.
http://makinghome.blogspot.com/2009/05/wise-worded-women.html

And that's where this article comes from- I think it *is* on us, as wives, to be sure that we are women whose counsel can be trusted. Ultimately, yes, our husbands should be wise & discerning, but I don't want my husband to make wise choices DESPITE my counsel, but rather for him to make wise choices WITH my counsel. Not because I'm ultimately "responsible" but because I want to be a faithful, godly, wise woman.

I think we're coming at this from similar points of view, and perhaps this is an issue of semantics or what we're stressing?

Thanks for your feedback.
Jess