Show & Tell: An April Blogging Bonanza!

Well, since slowing down blogging a while back, I haven't done a Show & Tell, and I know there are some of you out there who love these things. Lemme tell ya, this one's a doozie. So let's get right to it:

A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT:

GROWING THINGS?

AROUND THE HOUSE:

COOK UP SOMETHING TASTY:

THOUGHTS ON CHILD REARING:

HOMESCHOOLING

CONCERNING MARITAL INTIMACY:

FOR WOMEN ONLY (REALLY!!!)-- WHAT I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU BUT HAVEN"T HAD THE GUTS TO DO A SEPARATE POST ABOUT:

ABOUT BLOGGING:

THE SHOW & TELL WRAP-UP: Good for a laugh!
As always, happy reading! And Happy May! :)
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Homeschool Curriculum Choices: A Stream-of-Consciousness Analysis

So in the last week, I've gotten a message asking me to share how I chose curriculum, a message asking me what I think of the Classical education approach, and a message asking about how we investigated the various curriculum options. So, in this one post, without a ton of editing, bullet-points, or linkage, and while not-so-subtly showing off some recent pics of my family, let me just lay out what we did to get to where we are today-- happy & comfortable with the curriculum we use and the results so far.

Initially, I read a lot and asked a ton of questions... anything I could get my hands on and anyone I could talk to. I went to Mardel and scoured the curriculum selections they had. I sat in Barnes & Noble and scanned basic principles from a variety of homeschool, parenting, & education books. Considered the homeschool families I had known and asked questions, of both the parents and the children... what curriculum(s) they had used? How did they like it? What was it like? What are the benefits of the books they used? What did they do for science? Did they add in electives? Etc.

In doing that, for example, I learned that Saxon math is heavy on drillwork & review, and learned that Math-U-See is a very hands-on popular math program. I heard, from the kids, what they thought their particular curricula was strong in, and what they didn't like. From formerly homeschooled young adults, what prepared them for college and real life, and what didn't. I realized that some curricula are workbook-based and get consumed by each child, so you have to keep re-purchasing them (perhaps less expensive on the front end, but more expensive the more kids you have), and that others use books to educate (perhaps more expensive on the front end, but less expensive as you spread those costs out to multiple children).

[*** I should say that later (after we made our curriculum selection), I was fortunate to join an online forum that Sonlight hosts with thousands of other homeschool moms where I can ask questions, glean from those who are further down the road, and learn from the mistakes & successes of others. It is a real blessing and has contributed greatly to my sense of ease and confidence in the choices we make.]

Then I thought back to my own growing up years in public school. Engaging teachers in the elementary years. A fairly good enrichment program. No real science (except for observing tarantulas my 5th grade year) until 7th grade. Once we reached junior high, we got boring, hodge-podge history without any real chronological/geographical "flow". And where there was flow, it was presented in a way that could bore even a history buff to tears.

Good math, but the value of each year, and what was learned & retained, was often entirely dependent upon the teacher. Good elective options. A lot of phonics. Grammar. Worksheets. Sentences memorized (and soon forgotten) for T/F tests. Mostly US history, some Texas history, virtually no world history.

Personally, also, I had the tendency to be overlooked by teachers because I wasn't a problem child behaviorally and could fake it through tests and essays, even without Cliffs Notes. Sad to say, I often did minimal work-- except in areas of interest (which for me, was drumline, vocal performance, and government... and the occasional paper on Jane Austen). So I got good grades, but rarely felt challenged. Needless to say, from this experience & background, I determined that one of my aims is to provide a more tailored and engaging curriculum that will draw in the hearts and minds of our children.

So I investigated homeschooling as our oldest son reached ages 3/4-ish. Somewhere along the way, after hearing about classical education, Charlotte Mason, unschooling, workbook-based, computer-based, DVD-based, and other options... I came across Sonlight. For us, this was it! A curriculum that has a Christian whole-world perspective. Excellent books. They even tell you a list of valid reasons why NOT to buy their curriculum, so that you go into the experience educated and with your eyes open as to what you're getting. No monotonous drill work or a stack of worksheets for subject matter that ought to be fun and interactive... history, literature, bible, social studies... these things are all studied by reading excellent books together with your child. Particularly when children are young, learning ought to be a delightful experience.

Here's an example of learning history through good books, from our Kindergarten year-- Instead of memorizing the dates, places, and people of WWII, or doing a word find, or coloring a page with pictures of parachute men, we read an engaging, award-winning historical fiction novel written at a level he could understand about orphans living in an orphanage on the French countryside. Together, we experienced and discussed WWII through their eyes... learning about ration cards, Nazi soldiers, the scarcity of things like oranges and chocolates, where the Alps are, the role that clergy and people of faith played in assisting the Jewish people. These are all concepts that we discussed together and were not only grasped, but retained, by my then-5-year-old because we looked at the war in an emotionally-engaging way rather than through a coloring sheet or a list to memorize.

Now, I should say that this curriculum is not for everyone. We all have different backgrounds, we all come with different values and aims... but I will say this: Sonlight consistently brings educational materials to my child that are worth using. The books they choose, and the way they present them (in the context of the historical chronology) -- it just makes learning fun. And that is one of my top aims with my younger, elementary-aged children. When my children are young, I want a few simple things for them-- to sense and see a real dependence on and dependability of God, their Creator... and to delight in learning about the world He made. I would consider it a huge failure and a real tragedy if I took the precious little curious minds God gives to young children and squelched that natural desire to learn and grow and explore and engage with the world.

Hear me: I am not saying that ALL other methods do this. I am simply saying that for me, and for our children, I believe Sonlight is the tool that allows me to best fan the flames of curiousity and inquisitiveness that are necessary for a lifelong inclination towards learning.


So, maybe you are a young mom looking at homeschooling. Contemplating. Wondering if you can. Wondering how you'd even do it, and what it would look like if you did. Here's what I suggest: talk to as many people as you can. Glean wisdom in what to do as well as what not to do. Talk to moms who have kids like yours-- maybe you've got a late-talking girl or a boy who can't sit still... talk to moms who have homeschooled kids like these. See what they did... if they waited to get started, if they did school in between backyard playtimes, how they handled the practical things.

Then start to look at curriculum options. Some moms are really keen on making sure they cover every single topic of a scope and sequence and don't want to even unintentionally miss anything that they "should"... so they might enjoy the predictability and confidence that can come from using a workbook-based curriculum. Or a DVD instructor. Or computer, internet-based courses (generally for older children)

Some moms want to dive deep into ancient languages, teach according to "classical" education methods, or study topics in a pre-arranged, methodical order. There are websites and books devoted to those kinds of homeschools.

Some subscribe to a philosophy of child-led learning, where the mom maybe insures a constant continuum of progression in math and grammer, say, but lets the child's interests determine what kinds of things they'll study and then design a curriculum around that for each stage. (For example, if your daughter is really into birds, doing a study on the sciences involved in birds-- the physics of flight, the biology of their structure/etc, reading books like "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"-- ok that's a joke, but reading bird-themed books, writing papers/journal assignments about birds, drawing birds, feathers, nests for art work, etc.)

And then I've already told you about book-based studies like Sonlight. There are other companies that do this same sort of approach also.

And then each homeschool family adds their own flair. Some people do unit studies and go bonkers over Egypt for 6-20 weeks. Some use the "extra time" gained in homeschooling to pursue advanced studies in fields of interest (horse lessons, piano performance, internships, community college/college level courses while still in high school years, etc.). The possibilities for a personal configuration of your homeschool are endless.

All that to say, it can seem overwhelming. But something that helps me with homeschool curriculum is something that helps me with life in general... once I find something that "works", something that fits, something that I feel that God has led me to, I don't go looking for something different unless prompted by Him or unless significant problems arise. I'm not the gal scouring catalogs to see if some other company can "trump" what I've currently got going. I focus in on the children God has given to me, and I try to see what will help them at the level they're at to continue to love learning, grow in their understanding of the world, and develop godly character. Once we make a decision, we stick with it and I tailor it to our needs if necessary (although one of the benefits with Sonlight is that it's all pre-planned, so I can take it at whatever pace we like).

If we need to drop something, I'm not freaking out about it (I don't think we ever completely finished a textbook in all my years of schooling). If we need to slow down a bit, we can. If we need to take a break (particularly in these young years) for a week to focus in on character issues, we do. God gave these kiddos to us and I want to be good stewards of not only their minds, but their hearts and personalities as well. We want to try and help develop every part of them-- not just turn out a gaggle of little Einsteins (not to be confused with "Little Einsteins", which we love but still don't really want our kids to be like once they're adults, you understand). While we are very interested in their intellectual development and providing stimulation for their minds and skills, our aims are more focused on launching them towards their eternal joy and God-given purpose than their ultimate financial "success" or the number of degrees they may one day obtain.

Well, I've said more than a mouthful. But that's what we do and have done. I love homeschooling. Our children love schooltime with mommy. And really, more importantly to us, they love to learn-- about God, about the world, about stories, about people, about history, about life. We are enjoying the journey so far, just three years into it.

Whatever curriculum you use or choose, look at the pros & cons... talk to people who have used it. Talk to the kids who grew up with it. See how it matches up with your family dynamics and your children's learning styles. Don't just take my word for it, or anyone else's. No one method is "the right" way to homeschool. Try to do your research on the front end so you don't end up 4 weeks into a year and already hating it. There is such a plethora of resources available that really, there is something to suit almost any and every possible situation, parental philosophy, or learning need.

THE MAIN THINGS ARE: Be engaged with your kids' education. Be aware of your children's needs. Model a genuine delight in reading and learning. These are all significant and will contribute greatly to your child's education, regardless of your "method" or curriculum. Blessings to you... I hope this helps someone. :)
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The Body of Christ: What a "Beautiful Mess"

When I was in high school, and Christ had begun drawing me back to him from the rebellion I'd been living out for several years, I came across a band called Sixpence None the Richer (best known, perhaps, for their song "Kiss Me"). The album of theirs that I loved most was just close enough to Smashing Pumpkins-style music for me to dig it, while being challenged by the lyrics to look at life more through the lens of faith... a perfect fit for that time in my life.

One of the songs that meant a lot to me at that time was "Within a Room Somewhere". It talks about every breath of life being the potential impetus for us to realize that Christ is there:
Messiah, I know You are there
Within, without me, holding me
Messiah, I know You are there
Catching carrying this beautiful mess
The last line of that chorus fits so well, that Christ catches and carries us, and also gives us a useful description of ourselves. That view of myself, a sinful human, as a "beautiful mess" is a good one, I think. Realizing that as believers, we are beautiful in Christ... and that in our very nature, made in the image of God, we are beautiful... all the while, realizing that we are, each of us, a mess. A sinful, messy, doing-what-we-don't-want-to-do, not-doing-what-we-want-to-do mess.

BIBLICAL COMMUNITY: A BEAUTIFUL MESS
The Body of Christ can be the same way. It's hard to live in community. To open yourself up authentically, to receive exhortation & correction. To know how to hold fast to what is essential (the Gospel) and offer grace and freedom in non-essentials. It's so tough to interact with others on a deep level and then not feel hurt or wounded when we disagree on things that are significant in our hearts or minds, or when our sin natures become painfully obvious.

Just this week, I've come across three instances of messy, difficult-to-sort Body life. It can be tempting to think we'd just be better off alone.

BETTER OFF ALONE?
Lori Chaffer's song "Alone Everybody" sums it up pretty well:
I am happiest when by myself
Nobody’s hurt, nobody’s helped
Like a gun or bullet on a shelf
Alone, everybody’s fine
...
So I tiptoe around because it’s easier to fake it
Try not to be loud, or emotionally naked
...
I've been thinking I could get along
I think I’m happy, I think I’m strong
But like my cactus when it’s dry too long
Alone even cacti die
Alone everybody’s fine
Alone everybody lies
Alone everybody cries

Really, it's true. Alone isn't good for anyone. The mess of community, however messy it sometimes gets, is preferable to the mess that happens when we are unrefined, left to ourselves. We are such a beautiful mess when we come together as the Body of Christ.

Alone is not how God meant for human life to be lived. He built community into our make-up... we aren't like many of the animals where we reproduce together but live life mainly alone... He set it up so that marriage is a necessary and right part of overall human life. He separated the people out into people groups with various languages and lands, so that identity and community would be significant in our lives. Christ Himself modeled intensive community life; His first followers walked that same path as the early church. He calls out the Body of Christ to love and honor one another, pursuing unity and peace, so that more people will be drawn to Him.

THE BEAUTY OF UNITY IN THE BODY OF CHRIST
Though messy & certainly not easy, it *IS* a miracle. In Christ, we have the ability to forgive. We have the ability to live at peace with people that we formerly did not. Even, miraculously, to have unity and fellowship with people that have wounded us in profound ways. As the Body of Christ, we can live in a way that is markedly different from the vengeful, bitter, self-protective, interpersonally-insulated world around us.

I pray for grace to walk in that.

In Christ, we have all we need for godly living... but it requires that we abide. Trust and obey. Love one another deeply. Be at peace with one another. Walk in a manner worthy of the calling. All the things the Word tells us.

Body life as the Church is, really, a beautiful mess.
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Single OR Married: Intimacy = Not a Sliding Scale, But a Step

Dr. Michael Lawrence, a Pastor at Capitol Hill along with Mark Dever and others, put out what I think is an EXCELLENT series on Christian sexuality, dating, and marriage, with one topic directed at men, one topic for women, and Q & A sessions for both groups.

Jerod has grouped them all here in one nice & neat blog post for ease of accessibility. Each selection takes roughly one hour, and they are all highly relevant and quite engaging. Please take time to listen to any and all of them that fit your needs or interest.

I want to share one particular clip that gives a taste of the unique wisdom you'll find in the series, and also invite you to share your thoughts about this quote in the comments. After explaining that the act of sex is a part of marriage, he asks:
What about everything else, though? What about everything that falls short of actual sexual intercourse/penetration?

Well, I think typically, we as evangelicals have bought into a very secular idea that views other acts of sexual intimacy on a sliding scale. And we all in our own minds, in our own conscience, try to draw a line somewhere. And we say, "Okay, on this side of the line, that's far enough away from sex that it's okay, and on that side of the line, okay, that's beginning to feel enough like sex that it must not be OK, or it might lead in the wrong direction."

I want to suggest to you that when God created sex, He knew what He was doing. And He created sex and sexual intimacy and all the things that are associated with sexual intimacy, in such a way that they work really well. The married men in the room know what I'm talking about.

What I want to say to you single men is that most of the things, well, probably all the things that you put on this side of the line that are "safe", and you think in your dating/courtship relationship, "I can do this because it's not sex", married men do with their wives and they call it foreplay. And the reason they call it foreplay is because God designed it in such a way that it leads to sexual intercourse.

It's like a one-way street. There are a lot of things that you pass on this one way street called "sexual intimacy", and there are a lot of things you can do on that one way street short of actual intercourse. But God made that street to run in one direction. It's heading somewhere, guys, and you know it's heading somewhere. That's why you like it; that's why it feels good. Because God designed those things to lead you to enjoy an experience of that full intimacy in the context of marriage.

So I want to suggest that at even the pragmatic level, if you don't intend to go where that street's leading you, then don't get on it. ...Sexual intimacy is designed to escalate and proceed to a goal that God designed. Foreplay works; it gets you to sex. If you buy the biblical teaching that sex is designed for marriage only, then don't start playing with the things that lead you there.
He later makes the point that intimacy should not be seen as a sliding scale, where you kind of slide into intimacy--but rather, as a step, where once you get married, you step into a relationship that now includes the sexual intimacy that you have not enjoyed prior to that point.

I wish I had heard such straightforward, commonsense advice when I was a teen & college student. I certainly fell into the trap of thinking of sexual intimacy as divided into two categories: actual sex, and "things other than sex". This kind of transparency about God's design for & God's delight in marital intimacy is so crucial in this day and age when sexual intimacy is treated as just another valid option on the smorsgasborg of enjoyable choices for a date night as a single. Putt-putt? Make out so he'll ask me out again? See the latest movie? Wear something revealing since it's our third date?

Clearly, the current system and view of sexuality (even in Christian circles) isn't producing successful and faithful marriages. Or even, as it often promises, more "free" and happy people. In fact, when we follow the cultural systems presented to us, it leads to bondage, depression, and brokenness. I think this kind of biblical picture of intimacy needs to be painted loudly and often to this oversexualized-in-all-the-wrong-ways world.

So tell me your thoughts. Dating. Intimacy. What's expected. Why you think this advice is right/wrong. How we can communicate these things to our children and offer this kind of biblical view of intimacy as God's gift to married couples.

Let's talk about it!
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Study Your Husband!

This post is probably more directed at the new-ish wife, but could be something all of us (including me!) need to hear from time to time. In fact, the reason this is on my mind and I'm writing about it is because it's something I've been needing to re-focus on for ME. Something that I have done well in some ways and not so good in other ways is to really study my husband.

Here are some beneficial results from really getting to know our husbands well:
  • Our efforts to show them love & kindness are more likely to hit the bullseye where they really feel it in ways that are meaningful for them
  • It is very likely that our marriages will improve.
  • We will become more kind & considerate in our daily lives, and in our homes, which (all on its own) is a good thing.
  • We will become more like Christ, as we learn to know and love and joyfully serve the people around us and meet them where they're at.
  • We can model biblical one-anothering in the context of marriage to the children and/or friends God has given us.
So what kind of areas should we focus on?
  • Are there ways I could show respect to him that I'm not currently proactive about? (i.e., what he likes for dinner, how I dress, decisions in the home, in group conversations, etc.)
  • What makes him feel relaxed? stressed? carefree? blessed? angry? lighthearted? We are blessed to live in a time filled with options for learning more about personalities, love languages, learning styles, temperaments, and more. We could all benefit from taking time to really study what makes our individual husbands "tick".
  • How can I encourage him? Though the world treats men as though they're always full of bravado and oozing with self-confidence, the truth is that most men could do with some encouragement. Kind words, a supportive spirit, and actions to assist or help will go a long way towards helping your husband feel at peace and capable in life.
  • What blesses him in the area of intimacy? (What does he really like? Are there things you could wear, say, or do that would make your times together more special or enjoyable for him? Does it knock his socks off when you initiate? Is a backrub something that would make his week?) Many men derive a lot of joy and satisfaction from physical touch shared with their wives... and as we've talked about before, even if it means we have to expand our "menu", we WANT our husbands to revel and delight in US! We can all stand to grow more aware of and sensitive to our husbands in this area.
  • What ways can we enjoy relaxing together? Does he really enjoy the quiet? Perhaps there's a hobby you can take up where you could sit quietly alongside him and just enjoy the peace and quiet at the end of a hard week. Does he like to get out together? Perhaps there's a couple you could trade off babysitting duties with so that time out together can be a priority.
We don't all have the same husbands... but we do all have the opportunity to get to know the one we have. :) So let's do it together. Any other ideas or comments? Challenging words? Stories about how this has happened over the course of your marriage? Come on-- share your thoughts about being a wife that carefully studies your husband!
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On My Mind Today...

So Terry has been doing this regularly lately... just doing a braindump of the things on her mind, and it's great. It really feels quite friendly-like and personal to hear what all a person is contemplating. So here goes. This may be the first and last, or perhaps I'll do this occasionally, I don't know... but here are some things on my mind:

Obama's here!
It's funny how starstruck we can become when we get remotely close to someone famous. Like, one time I passed Yoko Ono in Central Park. I tried not to flip out, but seriously... the woman oft-credited with breaking up the Beatles?! Incredible.

It's funny how even though I'm not crazy-glad (read: sarcasm) about how the last election cycle went (in any way... not just in the ultimate outcome), I still hear myself in my head saying things like, "so is there any way I could get to see Obama while he's here?" The boys were all perched up on our balcony last night with binoculars trying to catch a glimpse of Air Force One, but to no avail. Even though the flight pattern often sends planes right past our view, the clouds were thick last night.

Turkish!
I am LOVING seeing my language skills progress, even if I still talk quite babyish in the whole scheme of things. When we lived in China, I loved studying language, and I've pretty much had to shut that part of me down for the past couple years between all of the unexpected ping-ponging around the world and the normal events of life. It's fun to see some progress after years of living in limbo. Plus (of course) it makes it easier to really dig into life here, make local friends, etc.

Esther!
Some friends & I have just begun studying through the book of Esther. Last night we tackled the first 2 chapters. It is amazing how much, even though the book doesn't tell us outright what her personality was like, you can see the inward beauty of what must have been a quiet and gentle spirit in her. Particularly in these early days, before she got that holy backbone to stand before the King unrequested. She:
  • submits to and obeys Mordechai, even though she had been orphaned and could have easily drifted into bitterness and rebellion.
  • wins the heart of the authorities placed over her in the harem, and submits to their wisdom rather than her own, and advances because of this. It's impossible to see her as a demanding diva... surely the eunuchs would have encountered some of those among the most beautiful women in the kingdom, but because of their quick affection for Esther, I get the distinctive feeling she was *not* like that.
  • continues to win grace and favor because of --what is never specifically described but everywhere implied-- that gentle and humble spirit that so pervades the story of Esther.
Truly, throughout the story of Esther, particularly in the early parts, it is obvious that God is the one uplifting her because she willingly humbles herself. Though Esther is the one book of the Bible that doesn't mention the name of God, His fingerprints... abasing the proud, and giving grace to the humble... orchestrating times, peoples, places, and events for His purposes... protecting and guiding His people for His glory... it's all there. An amazing book! I love how God reveals Himself so evidently through the pages of Scripture.

Breakfast!
All my little people just woke up, in the last four minutes or so... so off I go to make Dutch Puff (a favorite around here). (For those who have asked, here's a great picture that shows what a dutch puff looks like.)

That's what's on my mind.... thoughts? Ideas to add?
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