Do You Have Annual Checkups?

{This article originally published in October 2007.}

DO YOU HAVE ANNUAL CHECK-UPS?

In your marriage, that is... do you have them?

Our last date happened to be for our 7th anniversary. As we enjoyed our time, I realized that it might be something good to share with all of you.

Each year for our anniversary, we do a kind-of marriage "State of the Union" assessment. It's essentially a "checkup" for our marriage. We talk through various areas of our marriage:

• How are we doing in communication?
• How is our intimacy? Am I meeting your desires and needs?
• Spiritually, are we where we should be, as a family, as a couple, and as individuals?
• How are we doing in our parenting?
• What's one thing we should focus on in this next season with each child one at a time (yes, we go through this with each child)?
• Are we still working as a team?
• Is there anything I can do to serve you better in any of these areas?
• Is there anything you need that you're not getting from me?

We also do the "year in review" thing... talking about the high and low points of the last year. Together, we remember God's faithfulness and goodness throughout the previous year of our lives. Our goal is to thoughtfully, intentionally process where we are in our marriage.

 It gives us a "line in the sand", so to speak. By the end of it, we know:


Here's where we are. This is how far we've come.  We end that anniversary date confident that we are each aware of what's going on. Aware of what we each need to work on. Aware of any bad patterns we've fallen into that we need to work together to change. Aware of our top parenting issues/challenges.

I love anniversary dates; it's always extra-special to talk through all these things together.