- How to be the kind of wife that is described in Proverbs 31: 11, 12, 23, 26.
- This video of a speech given by a young woman on the verge of dying from cancer.
- How to avoid being/becoming the proverbial nagging or "argumentative wife"
- 1 Corinthians 13-- that oh-so-convicting passage that shows me what an awful love-r I really am.
...and I keep coming back to the idea that I, as a young woman, need to be actively and carefully pursuing wisdom. Not for wisdom's sake... but so that I can "SERVE with joy" as is advised in the video linked above. So that I can wisely COUNSEL my husband when he needs it, in order to assist him and propel him in the way the Proverbs woman does. So that I can JOYFULLY speak truth and remain faithful in hard times, as the wife & mother of young children who is dying from cancer has done. So that my words become DEPENDABLE and STEADY... that I might never be that woman who is as annoying as a constant dripping sound... that I might never drive my husband insane with incessant nagging and impossible expectations. So that I can OFFER wise teaching and influence in the lives of my growing children. So that I might really and truly LOVE.
FLIMSY, DRIPPY, UNWISE WORDS
Last week, I really blew it. Though there was undoubtedly a mix of hormones, culture stress, sadness at Doug's impending week away, and honest frustration, I was anything but steady. My words were not solid words of wise counsel. They were flimsy and faithless. What was I lacking? Self-control? Surely. A long-term perspective? Absolutely. I was lacking wisdom.
It is so easy to write off our sin as "hormonal". Or the effects of a bad day. Or as a natural response to something really rotten. But the truth is that as women, one of the things we will be later called to teach to other women is "self-control". So we ought to be learning it while we're younger, it seems to me.
Instead of adding to what should be a growing reservoir of dependable wisdom flowing out of my mouth, so that my husband could be confident in his trust of me, I acted like the drippy wife. Grumping. Griping. Throwing words around.
Oh, how much I want to be a woman who speaks wisely! A woman who keeps her mouth shut when foolish things would try to escape from her lips (or fingers, if writing!)... and a woman who speaks when prompted by the Spirit of God. A woman who knows and skillfully wields God's Word as a balm to the hurting, an encouragement to the discouraged, a help to the searcher, an exhortation to the wanderer, and instruction to the young. A woman who does not seek after her own glory or what will be the most comfortable and attractive... but who seeks after the glory of God and works towards the good of others.
And it always comes back to:
IN ORDER TO DO THAT, I NEED TO KNOW GOD'S WORD.
So what am I going to do about it? Each day, I spend time cooking. Cleaning. Reading-- for myself and to my children. Learning a language. Spending time with my awesome husband. Playing guitar and dancin' with the kiddos... and none of it is bad. But if I neglect the main things-- knowing Christ, knowing His Word, spending time in prayer so that He might change me... it will slowly (or maybe even quickly) erode away at what I am able to live out. I may get the externals right-- but it will be hollow-- propped up by only my own ways & thoughts rather than the ways & words of Christ.
God tells us-- EXPLICITLY TELLS US-- that if we need wisdom, HE WILL GIVE IT.
That verse has been a life verse for Doug & I. When we need wisdom in our marriage, we ask for it. Before we have dinner with friends that have acted wisely in some area of their lives, we ask for God to give us wisdom through the conversation. When we need to know what to do, we ask for wisdom. When we don't know how to pray, we ask for wisdom. And He so faithfully gives... and a large portion of that is through the things He's already written to us.
THE ANSWER IS IN THE WORD; THE ANSWER IS THE WORD.
The Bible is powerful and active... but we have to be meditating on it. It won't bulldoze us over as though it's a magic spell-- we have to let it work in us and through us. I don't have it all figured out, but I know this:
IF I WANT TO BE A WISE-WORDED WOMAN,
I NEED TO BE A WOMAN OF THE WORD.
I NEED TO BE A WOMAN OF THE WORD.
I've gotta be reading and meditating on Scripture. And so that's what I'm off to do before bed tonight.
How are you doing in the area of knowing the Word and using it wisely-- in your own life and in the lives of others? What parts of Scripture have been meaningful to you in dealing with the drippyness of our complain-filled mouths and minds as women? Please, share-- anything and everything you think might be helpful for me or others facing tough days and pursuing wisdom.