Summer Reading?

So, I've just started reading "Women Helping Women"-- a great collection of specifics about "how to" do biblical counseling (by women, for women). I get a fair amount of ladies who come to me personally over e-mail after visiting Making Home with questions-- asking for help, advice, or prayer, so I felt this may be a good way to continue growing in this area of biblical counseling (until such time that I might be able to pursue a Masters in this area... which is something I've been mulling for some time).

I'm really excited about this book and about learning about counseling in areas that are less familiar to me (like post-abortion counseling, eating disorders, medical conditions, and singleness).

So, that's what I'M reading... what are YOU reading this summer (or planning to read)? Feel free to sell me on it and tell me why it's such a great book/topic. I do love a good book and you just might highlight something that someone else needs to read!

So tell me, what's on your summer reading list?

Show & Tell: Everything AND the Kitchen Sink

I'm gonna quit apologizing for the length of these posts and just revel in it. Confession time: Hello, my name is Jessica, and I am a link junkie. I LOVE passing on good links and it really lights my fire to see a bunch of out clicks on my sitemeter. So, here we go again. Show & Tell #50 gazillion. ;-)

WOMANHOOD:

• Candid Words from a Would-Be Mother
• Celebrating Womanhood- Ideas for delighting in the gift of being a woman
• 20-something reasons to live at home- as a single Christian woman
  
• JUDGED-- Mary Grace shares her thoughts as a foster mom who *gasp* has used food stamps for her foster son... and the reactions she gets. This one may get you to noticing that big log in your own eyes (ask me how I know!).
• How feminism tore one daughter from her mother
  
• Older Women Wanted-- Mary Pride's request for moms with know-how to stick around and help younger moms rather than retiring to an empty nest

MOTHERHOOD

• Loving Our Kids: Merry hits the nail on the head and gives a simple (but not easy) challenge
  
• Days Gone By- a brief but eloquent "musing" on children growing older
  
• Nursing at 13 months- We moms end up feeling bad or guilty for all kinds of things, don't we? (Even good things like breastfeeding our children!)
  
• Raising Godly Children-- encouragement from Scripture with practical application
  
• Encouragement for tired moms to PRESS ON!- It's a long interview with Janet Parshall, but well worth reading/listening to!
• Thoughts on sheltering and wisdom- more by my empty-nesting friend, Chloe
  

MORE ON ABORTION:

• Pill users beware!- Did ya know oral contraceptives may cause abortions?
  
• Gender selection abortions
  
• Obama: Babies as punishment
  
• Infanticide Procedure, step by horrible step: Doctors describe performing partial birth abortions-- Oh, this is not for the faint of heart... but God, help us to read this sort of truth and act, doing all we can on behalf of the unborn.
• Baby survives abortion, expected to live "normal" life-- (hat tip: Dust & Clay)

ON CHINA:

• Rights Activists IGNORE China's One-Child Policy- "My body, my choice", you'll hear from feminist activists the world over... except when it comes to the horrors that happen in China every day because of their "overpopulation" policy.
• China's aftershocks-- the earthquake served to highlight ethical problems inherent in the system
• "My dear baby, if you can survive, please remember Mom loves you."

CHEW ON THIS:

• Amish Friendship Bread- From what this says, your friends will thank you. So, should I make up the "starter" batch?
• Homemade White Bread-- for some reason, this looks absolutely delicious to me (and a friend of mine says that it IS!) So I'm linking for you-- but also for me, to motivate me to make it!!! :-)
• Starvation claiming Ethiopia's smallest- Will you consider giving (you can give through adoption agencies and orphanages) and helping provide food for these children?
• What People Eat Around the World- a visual index of food around the world
  

BLOGGING:

• CUT DOWN YOUR BLOG READING by learning how to use a "feed reader". DG takes you step by step, so even non-techies can use this!
  
• A solution for those of you wanting a new blog design! BLOGS FOR A CAUSE - Nikki does blog designs and donates part of the proceeds to charities-- Woohoo!

SPIRITUAL GROWTH:

• Spiritual Gifts-- a six-part sermon series by Mark Driscoll. Probably the most comprehensive and yet comprehensible handling of the spiritual gifts that I've come across. (The link is to Adrian Warnock's blog, who linked all 6 of the sermons in one post-- so you can get them all from there.) Here is a written summary of the sermons.
  
• How to Waste Your Theological Education-- tips for seminarians and other aspiring theologians... a good gut-check for what you're doing with that "education"
• Sovereignty of God & life transitions- I could echo every one of Mrs. Elliot's words.
• Living with all of the Body: thoughts on age-segregated vs. age-integrated church experiences
• Voddie Baucham talks about "The Family-Integrated Church"
  

FOR THE LOVE OF BOOKS:

• Sorting books-- deciding which to keep and which to pitch
• Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers: This series looks GREAT for teaching basic doctrine to young children!
• Librivox: Listen to public-domain books in audiobook format for FREE! (Especially helpful for homeschoolers-- you could listen to a classic work while doing other things around the home. Also available as a free podcast.)
  
• Puritan Library: Challenging Puritan works in e-book format in their entirety online.
  

ON PORNOGRAPHY:

• "Dear Person that Googled 'Porn' and Got Me"- I've been shocked to see how many people google porn and end up here at Making Home. Prodigal Jon gives an excellent response to that anonymous reader.
• Women Against Pornography
  
• Hugh Hefner's Wasted Life-- boy, this one is sad. Sad, sad, sad.

FOR A LAUGH:

• Engrish.com-- a daily serving of Engrish/Chinglish-- this is what happens to the English language when put on shirts, signs, store windows, and more in China. Having lived in China for a year, I find this particularly hilarious... but you might too. :-) [Note: very occasionally there are off-color items featured... but most of the time, it is both tame and hysterical.]
• What does "crunchy" look like?
  

OH--AND ABOUT THAT KITCHEN SINK:

• In case you are a young wife/mother/person who has NOT heard about this, it may be helpful. Flylady is a great online resource for cleaning or keeping your house clean. [Now, I should admit: I do not actually use Flylady. I am a Flylady failure... but that is partly because I was not motivated to keep it up when I DID use it, partly because I've lived in more places than I can count in the last few years and have just had to do whatever I could to "make it", and partly because I'm more of a clean-as-you-go and clean-as-the-Spirit-hits-you sort of gal. ;-) But many, MANY of my friends find it helpful. So maybe you will too. Plus I had to include a link that had something to do with the kitchen sink, OK?!?]

Food for Thought for Homeschool Moms (and other onlookers)

"In a seemingly obscure NT passage of Scripture, Jesus says some of the most profound words concerning education and discipleship in the entire Bible. Luke records His words: 'A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.' (Luke 6:40) ... This raises one of the most important questions Christian parents will face concerning the discipleship of their children. Whom will your children resemble at the completion of their 'formal' education?"

~Voddie Baucham Jr. , Family Driven Faith, p.123

Of course, this makes me consider carefully who else I might ever put as a teacher over my children (I currently teach our children at home, and my husband does an excellent job discipling through regular family devotions and life-on-life discipleship of our children). And when I first read this passage, I'll be honest-- that's where my mind went... "wow! I can't imagine putting some other random person or entity in charge of my children's character!"

But it also reminds me of my own inadequacies as a teacher of my children. If my children continue to be fully trained by my husband and I, will that be enough? Am I being all that I want them to one day be? And of course, the answer is woefully "no". I lack so much that I want them to have. When I look at the other options, though, I am personally convicted that the responsibility rests on me to teach my children (even if I eventually "outsource" for things like geometry and physics).

Which means I need to BE what I want them to become.

I've got a judgmental/critical spirit that needs to be turned away from. I've got impatience, arrogance, hatred, bitterness, and more that needs to be dealt with... and I lack the self-control, love for others, and compassion that I desperately want my children to have. It is ridiculous for me to try to teach them to avoid doing the things that they consistently see me doing (losing my temper, criticizing others)... and it is silly for me to hope to teach them to consistently do things that I don't do (take my frustrations to God in prayer first, for example) .

Which means I've got a lot of work to do. The only solution, of course, is that I intentionally and willfully make Jesus my teacher-- and prayerfully strive to become more and more filled with Him, and thus, more and more like Him. I must be in the Word-- I must be filling my mind with the pure, good, and right, and casting off those sins that would destroy both me and my children.

It's a tall order-- only possible with His grace.

Living Like a Traveller

I've been reading this book called "The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment", written in 1648, by a man named Jeremiah Burroughs. Aside from the Bible, I'm not sure I've ever read (I mean actually reading, word for word, in entirety) a book this old. Anyway, I have been having to plug along a couple pages at a time because it's so utterly meaty and full of wisdom and insight that to read any more would cause brain overload for me (And, for the record, I'm OK with that... I don't want to act like a brainiac when I know that I personally would miss major points if I tried to breeze through a book like this!).

I came across this passage (p.94-95), and just had to share it with you. I hope it does for you what it did for me: made me think and really challenged me about how I view this world and my time in it.

While I live in the world my condition is to be but a pilgrim, a stranger, a traveller, and a soldier. Now rightly to understand this, not only being taught it by rote, so that I can speak the words over, but when my soul is possessed with the consideration of this truth, that God has set me in this world, not as in my home but as a mere stranger and a pilgrim who is travelling to another home, and that I am here a soldier in my warfare, I say, a right understanding of this is a mighty help to contentment.

For instance, when a man is at home, if things are not according to his desire he will find fault and is not content; but if a man travels, perhaps he does not meet with conveniences as he desires-- his diet is not as at home, and his bed is not as at home-- yet this thought may moderate his spirit: I am a traveller. ...If a man meets with bad weather, he must be content; it is traveller's fare, we say. ...When you are at sea, though you have not as many things as you have at home, you are not troubled at it; you are contented. Why? Because you are at sea. You are not troubled when storms arise, and though many things are otherwise than you would have them at home you are still quieted with the fact that you are at sea.

... Thus it should be with us in this world, for the truth is, we are all in this world but as seafaring men, tossed up and down on the waves of the sea of this world, and our haven is Heaven; here we are travelling, and our home is a distant home in another world. ...Though we meet with travellers' fare sometimes, yet it should not be grievous to us. The Scripture tells us plainly that we must behave ourselves here as pilgrims and strangers: 'Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul' (1 Peter 2:11). Consider what your condition is, you are pilgrims and strangers; so do not think to satisfy yourselves here. .

..So let us not be troubled when we see that other men have great wealth and we have not. -- Why? We are going away to another country; you are, as it were, only lodging here for a night. If you were to live a hundred years, in comparison to eternity it is not as much as a night, it is as though you were travelling, and had come to an inn. And what madness is it for a man to be discontented because he has not got what he sees there, seeing he may be going away again within less than a quarter of an hour?

Wow. So this stop here (wherever "here" is for you) is barely a blip on the screen. It can all seem so monumental, but I think Burroughs is highlighting a very important part of contentment: that we put our present concerns in light of the length and importance of eternity.

It definitely helps me (in terms of contentment) to think of myself as a traveller-- what say you?

Show & Tell: The Mother "Load" of Links

Goodness gracious, ladies. I have a HEAP of links to share with you. You'll just have to browse and pick from them because there are just too many (I think I must've been compiling them from the past month, er, um... year). But do pick some. They're all so good.

First up, Heather wrote this post: My (Mis) Perceptions which aptly sums up some things I've been thinking and feeling lately... about the way we get settled in our opinions and views.

*** Also, I've updated my songs down at the bottom of this page, so there are some great new songs (I kept some of the same ones though!) and a couple of mini-sermons for you to listen to as you browse! ***


BEING WIFE & MOMMY: links on wifelihood and motherhood--

• The modern view of motherhood: Kelly sounds off after reading this celebrity quote: "After three months with a newborn and a toddler I was happy to go back to work."
• "Yes, He's Still Nursing": breastfeeding facts and encouragement (I'm about four weeks away from re-joining the ranks of nursing moms!)
  
• The Cost of Raising Children: The problem with these sorts of figures (which are actually lower than what is often quoted in parenting magazines) is that they don't take into account the fact that my 3.5 year-old son is now wearing clothes that his big brother wore two years ago and that his soon-to-be-born brother will wear in another two years or so. My 21-month old daughter is reading books that have already been enjoyed (and continue to be enjoyed) by her older siblings. These types of costs are one-time costs, no matter HOW many kids you have. If you have two, they can be used twice (even if you have one boy and one girl, there are many toys and things like strollers that can be used by both genders), and if you have seventeen children (like the Duggars), there's no telling how many times things can be used!
  
• The Business of Being Born- a new documentary that's coming out about childbirth and modern hospitals-- really seems like an interesting film (headed up by Ricki Lake-- remember her?! ) Read one blogger's review of the movie.
• Cultivating Wise Habits- Amy reminds us to be careful with what we do and don't do, and particularly in the habits we form.
  
• Life With Boys- Renee always has such fun insights from her life with 11 children. Here's a fun and right-on post about life as a mommy with little guys running around.
• Marriage: An Idol?- Is it wrong for a single woman to desperately WANT marriage?
• Bible Story Books: Al Mohler's recommendations for children's Bible books.
• WORDS OF LIFE: Gina shares some penetrating questions about how to measure our words against Scripture, as we speak to our children, to our husbands, and to the world around us.
  
• Adopt Or Have My Own?- Candace @ Boundless thinks through this question posed by a reader.
• Watching Your Child Grow Up... on the Internet: "modern" moms and their technological dilemnas (what a sad commentary this is on how feminism has changed families in America!)
  

THE BODY OF CHRIST: links on faith & Christianity--

• The "State of the Church"- WOW! June has put together some fascinating statistics about the American church.
• Persecution Ought Never to Strike Us as Strange
• Families Worshiping Together: John and Noel Piper share their thoughts on weekly church and how to involve your children in this time.
  
• Finding the Perfect Church
• EXCESS: Sara has some challenging words to help us to examine our lifestyles, and where we spend our money, time, and energy! (If you don't regularly read Sara's blog, you're missing out-- what a gem!)
• HEALTH & WEALTH teaching- WOW~ John Piper's view on prosperity gospel "preaching"
• Church Gets Fined for NOT Hiring Gay Man as Pastor- Folks, be on your guard-- this is where things are heading... when a church can't abide by Scriptural guidelines without being taken to task by the courts, we are in serious trouble.
  

ABORTION: links on the murder of babies--

• TERM-inology: examining late-term abortion & partial birth abortion
• KNOW THE FACTS ABOUT ABORTION: John Piper encourages us to be informed about abortion and gives some helpful links so that you can "get informed"!
• How I Became Pro-Life- This former pro-choice athiest shares her VERY interesting story.
  
• When Abortion Is Just "A Choice"- many abortionists would have you believe that most or all abortions are out of desperation (and many are), but there are those who abort simply because they can.
• How much of America has been aborted? Sallie shared a great visual that gives you a picture of how BIG abortion is... how many of "us" we've murdered carrying out this "right" called abortion.
  
• What CAN unborn babies feel? This is a FASCINATING article about fetal pain, and it has strong implications for abortion "rights".

POTUS 2008: links about the Presidential election (potus= President Of The United States)

• The Five Stages of McCain- an interesting analysis of the changes many have gone through in the last month or so, when considering McCain as a candidate
• What Has Obama Done? Chris Matthews asks this not-so-difficult question to someone who ought to have had a ready answer... it's almost painful to watch.
• Election '08: Idealism Vs. Pragmatism- Terry gives some great analysis to the choices we'll all have to make, both now and in November in the voting booth.
  

MISCELLANEOUS: links that are totally random & totally (in my view) worth your time--

• Reflexology Foot Map- tells you where to massage for which ailments/parts of your body you want to target. I had a killer sinus infection last month, and Doug worked wonders just by rubbing where it told him to. (This isn't anything New-Agey... just an amazing way our bodies work!)
• Make Your Own Laundry Detergent. And spend pennies to the dollar. Seriously.
  
• What I Learned From Watching Sex & the City- One student shares his views on modern sexuality and what Christians' response to our culture ought to be.
• Spring Cleaning? Cost-saving tips for cleaning your home!
• Dating-- Mark Driscoll tackles this issue (and many other interesting ones, like Birth Control, in his series on Nine Christian Misconceptions) with straightforward biblical truth. I really like his style-- I have been listening to him a LOT lately.
  
• Make an adorable toddler dress from hubby's old dress shirts!
  
• DEMOGRAPHIC WINTER-- PLEASE watch this trailer for this film. The "overpopulation" myth has long been debunked, but the fact that traditional families are fading has serious implications for our society and our world. Check out this article about "Demographic Winter": Low Birth Rate Kills Economy, Society.
• I HATE LEFTOVERS: Practical tips for not letting food go to waste.
• Chicken Pocket Sandwiches- here's the recipe for the food I referenced on my pre-baby preparation post the other day.
  

LEVITY: links to make you laugh--

• DOs and DON'Ts with Babies- pictures included.
  
• How to Get Rid of a Stoner Son- for those of you with drug-using adult-escents in your home (or those of you who just want to giggle).
• THE GIANT HAIRBALL- I'm not kidding; I wish I was. You've got to see it to believe it. (Warning: don't click this one if you're eating!)
  

As always, happy reading! This may or may not be the last one I do for a while, seeing as how I've got a baby due in, oh, about three and a half weeks. ;-) We'll see. Regardless, these links should keep you nice and busy!

Noteworthy & Quoteworthy

Lately, many of my posts have been just passing on things that others have written or said that I've found meaningful... but I hope that you find these things helpful or encouraging too. So much of these are things that I would say or have felt or thought, but then I find it in print or blog form from someone else, and so it's pointless for me to try to re-write the same thing when I happen upon someone else who has put my heart into words.

(By the way, yes, I changed my photo to the one you see here. My hair has gotten longer- pregnancy always seems to do that- and it feels dishonest to me to have a photo that isn't what I really look like. So this one is more reflective of what I look like these days.)

Here are some noteworthy quotes I've found recently:

ON LIFE MISTAKES & RE-DOs:
BETH MOORE, in a Q&A post on her blog:

Q: If you could live your life all over again, what is the one thing you would do differently?

A: The tears are stinging in my eyes and I’ll have to try hard to keep from sobbing on this one. The list of things I’d do differently is so long, I couldn’t pick one out and the worst of it so appalling that I wouldn’t share it anyway. I have been so stupid. I was so messed up and clueless that my healing took a long danged time. I am as true a testimony of the forgiveness and grace of God of anyone you could know. He has been utterly unreasonable in His love and patience for me and I will love Him forever for it. To love much after I’ve been forgiven much is my hope. ...He is such a Redeemer. His sovereignty is my only peace.

TITUS 2 MENTORING:
Susan Hunt, in Biblical Womanhood in the Home, in her chapter called, "Older Women Mentoring Younger Women":

"Everywhere I go I meet young women who long for spiritual mothers. Some express a sense of loneliness, and yet they do not even realize that the disconnection they feel is because they do not have nurturing relationships with older women... It is time for Christian women to step into this vacuum and show and tell the truth about womanhood.

But where are the older women?

In recent years, I have observed a troubling phenomenon. Many women of my generation have relinquished this high calling of nurturing younger women. My generation has abandoned this calling for many reasons. Some simply do not know this biblical mandate. ...Some think they have nothing to offer. Some are intimidated by the intelligence and giftedness of younger women. Some have decided this is the season to indulge themselves. Some want to share their life experiences, but they feel isolated from the younger women and don't know how to bridge that gap.

I plead with the church to call and equip women for this ministry. God is gifting His church with incredible young women. ... We must be good stewards of this gift. We must exemplify the faith to them, and we must teach them how to show and tell the truths of biblical womanhood to the next generation."

Megan, at My Heart, My Home, wrote about her "Titus 2 Woman":

"God knew what He was doing when He created the gift of relationship. The idea of older and younger women coming together to share life, wisdom, laughs, and so much more is brilliant. Every woman needs a friend who's a safety net that will gently catch her and help her back up on her feet when she falls. If you don't have a Titus 2 woman in your life, I encourage you to take the risk and initiative in asking someone who's caught your eye. And consider this, if you're already older, there may be a younger woman who's looking at you! I hope that I won't forget the cycle of the Titus 2 woman; that it's not always being the younger woman who's taught, but also the older woman who passes down wisdom."

ON SINGLENESS & SEXUALITY:
Joe Carter, at Evangelical Outpost, on Pre-Marital Adultery:

Consider this thought experiment. Imagine a man is to be married on February 14th and has sexual relations with a woman who is not his fiancé on:

(a) The night before his wedding.
(b) The day of his wedding.
(c) The day after his wedding.

The action in each instance is the same but the term we’d use to describe the man would depend on when the event occurred: (a) would make the man a cheating cad, (c) and adulterer, and (b) either a cheating cad or an adulterer, depending on the time of day. Regardless of what we choose to call it, the consequence of the action is the same – the man has been unfaithful to the woman. Notice that though the “temporal perspective” changes the semantics, it doesn’t change the fact that the action is immoral.*

Under this view, pre-marital sexual relations become a form of “pre-marital adultery.” We are, in essence, being unfaithful to the one we will eventually pledge emotional and sexual allegiance. Why then do we not honor this obligation? As with most things in life, what we claim to believe is betrayed by our actions. Although unmarried people often claim to believe that they are waiting for their "true love" their actions show that they don’t really believe that to be true. If they seriously believed that their true love existed then how could they be sexually unfaithful to the one person who God has chosen for them?

ON PARENTING/HOME LIFE:
H. Clay Trumbull, in "Hints on Child Training":

"Every home has its atmosphere, good or bad, health-promoting or disease-breeding. And parents are, in every case, directly responsible for the nature of the atmosphere in their home; whether they have acted in recognition of this fact, or have gone on without a thought of it. In order to secure a right home atmosphere for their children, parents themselves must be right. They must guard against poisoning the air of the home with unloving words or thoughts...

Parents must, as it were, keep their eyes on the barometer and the thermometer of the social life of the home, and see to it that its temperature is safely moderated, and that it is guarded against the effect of sudden storms. Only as such care is taken by wise parents, can the atmosphere in their home be what the needs of their children require it to be."

ON DIFFICULT TIMES/STRUGGLES IN LIFE:
Jeremiah Burroughs, in "The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment":

"We are usually apt to think that any condition is better than that condition in which God has placed us. ...God, it may be, strikes you in your child--'Oh, if it had been in my possessions' you say, 'I would be content.' Perhaps he strikes you in your marriage. 'Oh,' you say, 'I would rather have been stricken in my health.' And if he had struck you in your health- 'Oh, then, if it had been in my [business], I would not have cared.' But we must not be our own carvers. Whatever particular afflictions God may place us in, we must be content in them."

I hope these challenge and encourage you, as they have me. Blessings as you begin this week!

Christmas Show & Tell: Have Yourself a Decadent Little Christmas

I hope you all have now begun your Christmas weekend and are spending time with family and friends... I wanted to share a few things with you to enjoy over the holiday season.

• Can I implore you to start one morning of your holiday with these scrumptious muffins? She calls them "French Breakfast Puffs"... Doug & I agreed this morning that our name for them is going to be "Sopaipilla Muffins" (after the delicious cinnamon-sugar coated Mexican dessert). They are sinfully delicious in every possible way. If you make these, your taste buds will rise up and call you blessed.
  
  I'm serious. I don't think I've ever made a better breakfast. Ever. Are you on your way to your kitchen? You should be.
  

OTHER CHRISTMAS/COOKING IDEAS:

• My fun friend over at Musings of a Housewife has put together a lovely Homemade Piecrust Making Lesson.
• Maybe you haven't wrapped your gifts yet? Consider this great and cute idea for reusable Christmas wrapping.
• My gift to you: FREE SEWING PATTERNS. If you visit this site, and create a username, you can print out thousands of free patterns that are precious and useful and unique. Merry Christmas, my sewing friends!
  

MISCELLANEOUS INTERESTING LINKS:

• Still waiting around for my "Redesign Your Blog" how-to-do-html post? Please forgive me for not having gotten to that sooner-- my language lessons started up a couple weeks ago (I'm learning Turkish), we've been tidying up because we'll be traveling for much of the month of January, and with Christmas goings-on, well, it just hasn't happened. I'll try and revisit it next week, before we leave. In the meantime, here's a great post that can give you other tips on how to improve your blog: 15 Powerful Ways to Differentiate Your Blog From the Crowd.
• Take this holiday season to get some sleep. Improve your health, have more energy, and help the environment by getting the right amount of sleep.
• SECULAR THOUGHTS ON HEAVEN: Liberal LA Times columnist Joel Stein got quoted on the back of a Starbucks cup. Here's the quote:
  

  Heaven is totally overrated. It seems boring. Clouds, listening to people play the harp. It should be somewhere you can't wait to go, like a luxury hotel. Maybe blue skies and soft music were enough to keep people in line in the 17th century, but Heaven has to step it up a bit. They're basically getting by because they only have to be better than Hell.
  

  Something interesting is that this (clouds, harps, boring) is the way many Christians see Heaven, which is completely unbiblical, but gives clear reason for why so few Christians are excited about eternity with Christ.
  
  In response to Stein's coffee cup quote, he received five copies of Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, from five different Christians. Because of that response, Stein called Alcorn. You might be interested to read about the outcome of that conversation. Here's Alcorn's blogpost about their conversation, and here's Stein's follow-up article about Heaven. You should read both.
  
  By the way, if you haven't read Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven, or you find yourself feeling similar to how Stein feels about Heaven, BUY AND READ the book. It will give you so much biblical insight, encouragement, and excitement about eternity.
  

LAUGH TRACK
Normally, I like to end these posts with something funny. Today, I have three, no- make that FOUR, funny links for you to check out. So have a few laughs...

• The European Union Will Improve the English Language.
  
• The Homeschooler's Wish List. Hilarious tongue-in-cheek responses to the ridiculous questions we homeschoolers get asked by friends and strangers alike.
• Cletus Take the Reel- A pretty silly parody of "Jesus Take the Wheel" (ht: Josh Harris, via Doug- thanks darlin!)
  
• Perhaps someone you know needs to visit a shrink. Can I recommend this one?
  

I pray that this holiday time will be a time for gathering with those that you love to celebrate the amazing miracle of Christ come to earth. What an amazing thing it is that the God of all the world came and became human, in order that we might have eternal life. May this be a precious time for you and your family.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!

Teach Your Children About Sex: Chapter 6: Guiding the Growing Child (Ages 9-11)

[I've been reading through an older book called "Teaching Your Children About Sex" by John C. Howell, and it was published in 1973. Though I would not recommend this book as a primary resource for Christian sex education, I appreciate the developmental information and structure of the discussion in this book. This is the eighth in a series of posts discussing this issue of how to biblically teach our children about sex & sexuality.

Click to read the previous posts in this series:
Chapter One: Sex Ed in the Christian Family,
Chapter Two: Sexuality in Christian Perspective,
Chapter Three, Pt.1: Physical & Emotional Growth,
Chapter Three, Pt.2: Moral Growth,
Chapter Four: Parental Preparation
Chapter Five: Establishing Healthy Beginnings (Birth-Age 8)
Books & Video Resources for Birth-Age 8

Quotes or ideas from the book are listed as such. The basic structure of each post is also loosely derived from the book. Anything else is my own commentary and thoughts. These age-focused posts will be longer than my usual posts, but it is worth it to me to have all the age-appropriate information in one place, not only for now, but for those future readers who will refer to this material.]

AGES 9-11
Now sometimes called the "tween" years, these years offer opportunities for parents "to correct misconceptions and provide more factual information" about one's own development and growth.

Intensive Changes
This time in a young person's life is the time of going from childhood to young adulthood. Biblically, in Jewish culture, this would be the three years that lead up to one's transition into the adult sphere, no longer being seen as a child, but as a man. We are given a glimpse of Jesus just after this phase, and He concerned Himself with conversing with rabbis and adults, and was acting more independently, no longer like a child. I bring this up not to suggest that we ought to kick our kids to the curb at age 12, but that we should realize that changes are coming... that the old (childhood) is passing away, and the new (growth into adulthood) is coming. We must prepare our children for these changes, and that includes preparing them for the physical changes that accompany the transition into adulthood (puberty, physical growth, etc.).

Howell puts forth the following basic principles that can help us understand more about this age range:

#1- Physical Maturation is different for boys & girls.
Girls generally grow faster than boys during this time period, peaking in the rate of growth around age 12. "Boys tend to grow faster in the years from 11-14, with a peak in the fourteenth or fifteenth year." We see this in schools across the world: girls are generally taller and more physically developed than their same-age male peers during this time period.

Additionally, we must remember that physical maturation is highly individual:

"There may be as much as a four- to six-year difference in maturing for one boy when measured with another, even in the same family. When this occurs," Howell writes, quoting Marion Lerrigo in his book on this age period, "the child who is different from his friends, either because he is late or early, may need reassurance from his parents as to his normalcy."

#2- Glandular changes affect feelings as well as growth.
"Growth spurts in preadolescence are initiated by action of the pituitary gland, located at the base of the brain. Two hormones are secreted"- one for physical growth, and one for sexual maturation. "When glandular action occurs, the child is confronted with new feelings about himself and his relationship to other people."

More rapidly-changing emotions may come with the physical changes that are happening during this stage. Part of this growth is the natural transitioning that happens from childhood to adulthood, where one begins to see him/herself as a separate, unique individual from his/her parents.

#3- The desire for peer group approval and same-sex relationships strengthen.
Typically, during this stage, "boys find their best friends among other boys, and girls among girls." Something to remember (which runs contrary to the advice of many in the world) is that this likely is not an age to force or push preadolescent children into spending time in mixed-sex social environments. This awkward stage doesn't need to be made more awkward by an unnatural "pairing off" or forced interaction which is oftentimes the exact opposite of what kids actually feel like doing (think "cooties" and "boys-only" clubs). Howell writes, "Such relationships demand social response to a developmental task for which they are not ready." Boy-girl relationships will happen naturally enough as these children become young adults-- we need not force these things to happen (and sometimes, we may need to disallow these things from happening, if pushed from outside sources). How have you handled this with your pre-adolescent child?

#4- Conscience development accelerates.
Prior to this point, Howell points out, children will often determine choices of conscience by relating choices to the instructions of respected adults/authority figures. "Now, however, conscience has the opportunity of developing more personal responses to moral choice situations." Issues like justice, what's "fair" and consistency will become more important to this aged child. A study by Swiss child psychologist Piaget showed that moral judgment from 6-8 year olds is most often (64%) based on whether or not they followed the rules. In the following age group, this shifts completely, as 72% of 9-12 year olds surveyed said that "violating equality" or justice was primary in their minds for what made a decision morally right or wrong.

Understanding this shift of moral judgment towards justice and individual conscience gives us a great opportunity to direct our growing children towards God the Father, as the ultimate Judge; God the Son, the perfect man; God the Holy Spirit as a reliable internal guide; and the Word of God as a fully-trustworthy external guide.

#5- Religious awakening often begins.
During this time period, there is often a tendency for young people to begin to personalize their understanding of God, faith, and religion. A child who has been nurtured in this area will often develop sooner than this, but Howell asserts this is the time at which a child's understanding of himself as an individual and as separate from his family members will often begin to internalize his beliefs in a new, more personal way.

{Those of you with children that are this age or older, have you found this to be true? I'd be interested in your thoughts on this.}

I am reminded of Christ Himself, as a twelve year old, going into the temple to speak with rabbis, and having great understanding and asking deep questions. It seems to me that this is indeed a time when we can help our children by intentionally shifting their conscience/guide from being external (us as parents telling them what's right and wrong) to being more internal (relying on relationship with God and His Word to tell them what's right and wrong). Again, I'd be interested in hearing from those of you who are parenting children of this age or older.

QUESTIONS ABOUT SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT
Children will continue to grow in their understanding of sexuality during this stage, and it is often accompanied by a greater desire for privacy. There are certain areas that Howell asserts are central to the developmental concerns for this aged child:

Changes in body size and shape
We can give our child a great gift by encouraging "a feeling of comfortableness with his/her body". This time, before the body changes begin happening in earnest, is a great time to instill in them an understanding of their body, as a boy or girl, and how those bodies will change as they grow. There are two major issues/concerns with puberty which parents often wonder about... one of which I think Howell addresses fine, and the other of which I think he does not handle well... so I'd be interested in your thoughts on these as well (we'll have to work to keep it discreet, but I think we can handle that). ;)

• Menstruation is the most obvious "sign" of a girl's transition into becoming a young lady. There are many resources in public schools and such which will give girls adequate physical knowledge, but we as Christian parents, and as mothers in particular, "need to interpret menstruation in light of the Christian meaning of sexual growth." Howell makes this assertion but then does not give any practical ideas about how to implement such a strategy. What say you? How can we as Christian mothers instill in our daughters a biblical sense of womanhood during this time of transition in their lives?
  
  As for the physical aspect of female development, Howell gives a great, clear explanation of a woman's monthly cycle. Perhaps this will help you as you prepare to share this information with your daughter:
  

  Menstruation "simply means 'monthly flow' and refers to the normal physiological process of shedding the lining of blood in the uterus which had built up to nourish a baby if fertilization had occurred during intercourse. When fertilization does not occur, the lining is not needed and is discharged through the vagina along with some blood. The important thing for girls (and boys) is to know that this is a normal part of sexual maturity", and is not a curse or a bad thing in any way.
  

  It is important that we give this information at a time before our daughter begins her cycle. There are generally signs that this is coming (when breast buds begin to form and body hair begins to grow), and we need to watch for these signs so that girls are not left to "figure it out for themselves" (as many throughout this series have commented that they, sadly, had to do). I have a great list of resources that I've collected from godly moms that I admire that can help you to share with your daughter about these physical changes... I'll be doing a post on that next.
  

• Masturbat!on is the other common concern of parents with children at this stage that Howell brings up. (I used the ! for the i so that I don't get bad google searchers coming my way.) ;) I really don't like his explanation nor his instruction in this area, as it is very graphic and very psychologically based rather than having any sort of balance or moral element to the discussion. So, I'd like to hear your approach on this, assuming we can do it with discretion. How do you/have you/do you plan to handle this with your children (your sons in particular)?
  
  I know Dobson advocates that this area should be "guilt-free", addressed in a way in which sons aren't made to feel guilty about it, or even think of it as wrong. On the other hand, I know that this can, if acted out in excess, become a crutch and a tool for sexual addiction (particularly when paired with porn, but even when not used with porn) for many men that can carry over into their marriages. I've had many women write to me with this issue, that their husbands are unwilling to meet their wives' sexual needs because of a personal addiction to masturbat!on, and that it began around the time of puberty... long before the wife was on the scene.
  
  So what say you? Are we setting up our sons for problems in addressing this issue in one way or another? Is there a "biblically correct" answer to this issue? I'd love it if you'd ask your husband about this and share his thoughts in the comments, or if husbands would themselves share their thoughts on this issue.

Questions About Reproduction
Howell offered these as classic "questions" that come up during pre-adolescence:

• Does kissing make you pregnant?
• How does the sperm get into the mother?
• Does it hurt to have a baby?

I wonder, however, if these are a bit naive these days, in light of sex scandals, PG-13 movies that would have been rated NC-17 just 20 years ago, the rise of homosexuality in our culture, and the Britney Hilton-ization of pre-teens. What questions do you think the 9-11 year old has?

HOW TO RESPOND:
As with the previous ages, Howell 's book suggest (and I agree) that honest answers about pregnancy and birth ought to be given, adapted to the developmental and comprehension level of the child's life. If you as the parent don't know the answer, or are caught off guard by an unexpected question, simply tell the child that you will find out or that you will think about it and discuss it with them later. And then be sure to make time to do that.

While the "basic facts" may have already been shared, this stage is a great time for reinforcing positive ideas about God's creation of us as sexual beings. As they prepare for the adjustment into (physical) adulthood, we can help them by teaching them openly about the changes to come.


***Obviously, because of the ages of my children, anything presented as my opinions in this post are either (1) from the book, (2) from my observations of other families who have gone through this time, or (3) from my own growing up experiences.

I would welcome you to share about your experiences with this age group, how you have dealt with questions, how you have handled concerns in this area, and what you would share with moms of younger children who have not yet hit this stage.***

Show & Tell: All About Variety

Sometimes I pick a "theme" for my show & tell posts... well, this one is all over the map. Pick the things you want to read about, and skip the things you don't... but these are all things that are interesting to me... hopefully some of them will catch your eye, too! ;)

• HEAVEN: I want to go THERE! - a personal account of how reading Randy Alcorn's "Heaven" greatly increased one Christian's desire for and excitement about Heaven.
  
• When controversy strikes over worship styles: CappuccinoMom writes about it in a post called Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs
• The familiarity of an idea: how we go from rejection to acceptance of new ideas as they become more familiar. She's talking about cloth toilet paper, but I think it can go for any number of things: family size, cloth diapering, homeschooling, etc.
• Bill Cosby on parenting & education
  
• An abortion counselor on how she counsels Christian women who come to her for abortions: "God knows what's in your heart."
  
• Still trying to decide what Christmas gift to get for the Christian men in your life? GirlTalk compiled a list of books that Christian men would likely love to read... (I should confess: I skipped over this post, thinking it wasn't a good list, and then my loving husband forwarded me the link as a little hint, hint. So perhaps your husband would like it too.) ;)
• Looking for quality children's books? This blog may give you some new ideas.
• What kind of toys should we buy for boys? And for girls? Shouldn't they (at least sometimes) be different?
  
• Modesty Check: A Titus 2 woman gives us a great way to check our motives and dress modestly.
• How homeschooling instills leadership. Independent learning, creativity, and faith are all strong positives that come from the homeschool environment.
• Big Brother at School: Don't leave your children's education to the government-- how 19th century Democrats addressed this issue of government involvement in public education- and some things we ought to think about now.
  
• "I prefer someone else's kisses": how premarital sexual experience can harm one's chances for marriage, or one's happiness in marriage. Just something to think about.
• The beauty of routine when a new baby enters the family: though this is a controversial issue, I can't say enough how thankful I am for having a basic routine with each of my babies... it makes our lives more predictable and makes everyone in the family happier when there's a general order to things. You can see more of my thoughts on this in the comments of the linked post.
  
• The dreaded "Christian Table": One waiter shares his thoughts on how Christians often come across to waiters/waitresses... something to keep in mind! (Personal note: I can still remember hating to get the Sunday afternoon shift when I waited tables in college... many times, tables of six or more --obviously having come straight from church, with dress clothes and bulletins in sight-- would leave horrible tips and have terrible attitudes. Once I got 86 cents as a tip from a table of seven people... we, as Christians, need to consider that we are indeed watched, particularly on Sunday afternoons, and use that as a time to honor, rather than dishonor, the name of Christ by how we interact with those who wait on us.)
• They ARE a handful: Kelly shares about the responsibilities and rewards of children-- and how people applaud women who work themselves to death for the good of a beloved cause or candidate or company, but pity mothers who are working heartily to raise godly children.
• Are large families and ministry incompatible?
• Ever asked a kid, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Elisabeth Elliot challenged me (and Amy) with some thoughts about that question.
• Victoria doesn't keep her "Secret" very well: Where do we as Christians draw the line?
• Some things to consider during the holiday season

FREE BOOKS:
Two ways to get free books... no joke, folks. FREE. BOOKS.

• Here are some excellent books available FOR FREE online. These are electronic format books by John Piper, Wayne Grudem, Dennis Rainey, and more.
  
• Library GIVEAWAY: Encyclopedia Kevinannica is giving away free books, videos, and music for Christmas. No hidden costs, no switch-a-roo... go check it out!
  

POLITICS:
You all may have noticed... my guy's on the rise (that would be Huckabee!) ;). It's getting exciting to see others agreeing with what I've known for years-- that Mike Huckabee will make a phenomenal President! Here are some interesting recent news items:

• Bill O'Reilly and Dick Morris, an astute political adviser and observer, do a run-down of the current Republican race... it's an interesting segment- and only takes 5 minutes to watch. If you want to get up to speed on what's happening in the Republican race, this is a great video to get you there.
• Huckabee's $327,000 vs. Romney's $7 million. Huckabee is #1 in Iowa, where Romney has long been thought to have the race "wrapped up" (remember? Thompson, Giuliani, and McCain didn't even bother to do anything in Iowa for the straw poll because it was thought to be totally "Romney country".) Now Huckabee's the one to watch, and he's doing it in a fiscally restrained way--( i.e., he's the frugal candidate), which I personally like. I don't want a President who goes through money like crazy, and Romney certainly doesn't seem to know how to get "bang" for his bucks. Huckabee does.

MAKE YOUR OWN/DIY HOUSEWIFERY:

• Make your own cloth table napkins. What a lovely way to cut down on your family's consumption and add a pretty element to your dinner table.
• Dispense with disposables. -An excellent run-down of various ways you can reduce your family's trash through the use of cloth or other reusable materials in your home.
• Some plants you should consider growing
  
• Rag Quilting- I've never heard of this, but I think it's absolutely adorable. If you're wanting a simple, or first-time quilting project, I think this might just be it.
• Redecorating for FREE!- Find new uses for old things... Mary shares some great tips

{Editor's note: if you are a man or don't want to know about personal female hygiene, stop reading now. I mean it. Stop. Don't go blaming me if you read any further and then get embarrassed or squeamish about what you read. Are you still reading? SERIOUSLY? EVEN AFTER I WARNED YOU?!?!? Well, stop. Now. Consider yourself fully warned.}


FEMININE HYGIENE

Ladies, over the last year, I've been introduced to some new thoughts about feminine hygiene products for *that* time of the month, and I wanted to share them with you here. I'm not going to go on and on... but you can read about these things for yourself and get your own ideas.

I just want to say that many of my friends have had decreased cycle strength/bleeding, hugely decreased cramping, and less hormonal/PMS stuff because of switching from the over-the-counter disposable ladies' products to natural products. The bleach and certain chemicals in the disposable products may cause increased cycle strength and cramping, and I have too many friends that have happily "made the switch" with great physical/hormonal results to think that it's just coincidence. Here are some great links to check out:

• A personal favorite of mine-- mess and odor free: The DivaCup
  
• Cloth menstrual pads in three different varieties: Professionally made, personally made (by a homeschooling friend of mine), and homemade. Take your pick.

Health-wise, financially speaking, and environmentally, I think more women ought to consider these options. Maybe you'll agree. ;)


And finally, something fun to end the "Show and Tell": MUSICOVERY- what a FUN way to blast back to your past and hear some old tunes. You can click on the decade, click on your mood, and away you go, hearing tunes you may have forgotten (for me, it was Milli Vanilli and some 80's and 90's one-hit wonders)

ADVICE & ANSWERS: Homeschool Book Recommendations?

About 2 months ago, I received a request for recommendations about homeschool books from a reader. Doug was out of town for over 2 weeks, and so I saved the message with the intention to respond when things settled back down, but did not respond until last night (shame on me for a VERY tardy response). Well, the e-mail just returned to me. I occasionally get asked about this anyway, so I thought I'd start an open thread asking you for YOUR homeschool book recommendations. Specifically, Hedi was looking for recommendations about:

1. books that give an overview of the basics of homeschooling
2. books that would give more insight into what homeschooling is and why one would do it (for example, if a relative is wary of your decision to homeschool and you want to give them an overview of what it is, and why it's a good choice... a good book that you could put in their hands to give them more "answers")

So, for those of you readers who homeschool, want to homeschool, or have homeschooled, what say you? What books have been powerful in your journey towards homeschooling? What books have encouraged you as a homeschooling parent? What books have you recommended to others as must-reads for the homeschooler? (I'll share my recommendations in the comments as well.) Can't wait to hear from you!

Show and Tell: Gotta Love Voddie!

If you don't know who Voddie Baucham is, please allow me to introduce you to this godly man who is rising up to serve the purpose of God in his generation.

This man... (By the way, his first name rhymes with "Cody".) I don't know where to start. I got to hear him at a conference in 1999 (Passion 99) and have enjoyed everything I've heard from him ever since. He has recently released a book called "Family Driven Faith: Doing What it Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Will Walk With God." Having not yet read it, but hoping to get it soon, I think it is going to be a whopper of a book-- as a challenge to Christian parents in our generation.

Here are some excellent short clips and videos of Voddie talking about these various subjects, all addressed in the book:

• THE VALUE OF FAMILY
  
• THE CONSEQUENCES OF FEMINISM
• FAMILY DISCIPLESHIP
• FAMILY DRIVEN EDUCATION [hat tip: Thanks, Kelly!]
• IS IT EVER TOO LATE?
  

(Could I ask you to watch all of them?! ... At least pick one or two and watch them- they will challenge you and get your mind a'churning!) Last night, I had a Voddie-on-YouTube bonanza!

Voddie Baucham. Here's a great collection of sermons & interviews with Voddie. Be sure to check out his new book, Family Driven Faith.

Teach Your Children About Sex: Books & Videos for Birth to 8 Years Old

Friends, this is the kind of post I love to write... when I get to share with you the books and materials that have been important and helpful for me. This post is specifically geared towards parents of young children, to give you resources and tools for teaching your young children about sex, how babies are made, how babies grow, and related topics. The last post in this series dealt with specific methods/principles about biblically teaching babies-8 year olds about sex.

Because I'm not going to advocate one place or another for where to buy these things, I'll just link each to a google search for that particular resource, and you can read up about it and purchase it where you please. :) Here are the resources I've found that make this easier, more natural, less awkward, and more exciting for us as parents:

I'll start with my #1 recommendation: National Geographic's "In the WOMB" DVD.

This may seem like an unlikely choice, but I'm telling you... this is a GREAT resource for giving your kids this information in an extremely interesting way. "In the Womb" is an incredible resource that can explain many of the technical aspects and give you a beautiful way to show even very young children how sperm and egg come together, multiply and divide as cells, and form into various parts of the body. It is fun to watch (even for me, as an adult), and it's something we can return to again and again to clear up misconceptions and to solidify the information in their minds. Through 3-D and "4-D" sonogram technology, the use of realistic-looking models, and computer-generated images, it gives an AMAZING picture of what it looks like "in the womb." (CLICK HERE to watch a preview.)

[Please note: there is one shadowed image of a pregnant lady's nude profile that lasts for around 8-10 seconds while narration is happening... and the video itself shows midriff-level footage of various pregnant women walking through a crowded city as it narrates that many women don't even know they're pregnant in the early stages, etc. I have not found these images offensive... and they are by no means even a significant portion of the video. But I wanted to mention it so no one could accuse me of anything less than full disclosure!

Additionally, while National Geographic is not typically a conservative source of information, this resource is very pro-life and God-honoring without specifically saying anything about God, for or against. We help the children to see the beauty of God's design as we talk about the video while we watch it.]

This "IN THE WOMB" book goes right along with the DVD:

We bought this book along with the DVD as a set. It shows still-photos of the same images you