Chronicling Babywise - Weeks 6 & 7

Phew, time is flying! Trips to the consulate for passports (for Moses and our two oldest sons... I can't believe it's been 5 years since we started this overseas journey) and trying to be more diligent about cleaning the house and such have been stealing the few "extra" bits of time I get these days.

(This is #6 in a series chronicling our Babywise routine with our fifth child. CLICK HERE TO SEE: Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four, Week Five.)

DURING WEEK SIX, things went really well. Moses continued increasing his sleeping hours at night until he was consistently going 6-7 hours between night feeds, which was super nice. One night he even went just half an hour shy of 8 hours. But then towards the end of the week, like I expected, we hit the 6- week growth spurt.

This last week has been more like 4 & 1/2 to 5 & 1/2 hours between night feeds, and he's still eating every 2 & 1/2 to 3 hours during the day. He's chunking up, smiling big (especially in the mornings), wiggling and interacting so much more, talking and cooing to every and any one who happens to be near, and visually tracking people walk across the room. It's fun to see him growing, and yet a bit bittersweet. It's just incredible how quickly they ditch that newborn stage.

STARTING AT THE SAME TIME EACH DAY?

A friend of mine with a newborn asked this last week whether or not we start our routine at the same time each day, and at this early stage, we do not. I'm more concerned about keeping up my milk supply and meeting their needs. Once we get to 3-4 months, everything levels out anyway, and we'll be on a basic daily routine just based on their own caloric needs (for example, they may vary by 15 or 30 minutes in either direction, but by that age, my babies tend to wake up at roughly the same time each morning anyhow. If it's normally around 7 that they wake up, let's say, then if they woke up at 6:45, I might go ahead and feed them then. If they sleep a bit longer, I'd wake them up by 7:20 or 7:30 to get the day rolling. That sort of thing.)

But right now, our days look something like this:

• 6:30- feed, longer waketime, short nap
• 9-ish- feed, short waketime, longer nap
• 12 noon-ish- feed, short waketime, longer nap,
• 2:30/3- feed, short waketime, longer nap,
• 5:30- feed, longer waketime, short nap
• 8:30- feed, short waketime, sleep
• 11-ish- feed, right back to sleep.

But see how, when a baby goes through a growth spurt and cuts back a bit on the nighttime sleep (from 6-7 hours to more like 5 hours), that will lead to a (for us, right now) roughly 4/5am wake up? So then that might lead to a similar schedule the next day, starting around 6:30, or it might lead to something a bit earlier/later.

As you may have picked up on by now, we're more like that laid-back family Ezzo describes early on in Babywise. We aren't (by nature) a clock-driven family. We figure routines are there to serve our family's needs, not the other way around. So for me, in these middle-weeks when we're building up to that 8-hours-a-night sleep pattern, I don't focus on the particular hour that the feedings start. I focus on:

• still getting regular, full feedings throughout the day
• making sure wet/dirty diapers are regular and full (if you're concerned on this point, check out the week-appropriate charts @ the back of Babywise that give guidelines for what's healthy & normal)
• in early weeks: getting at least 8 feedings in a 24-hour period (as you can tell from the times listed above, for me, once they start consistently sleeping through that early morning --4am-- feed, it cuts back to 7 feedings in a day. It is, however, possible to fit in 8 feeds per day even while going longer at night time if you stick to the every-2 & 1/2-hour feed times).

MILK SUPPLY ISSUES

One thing I did face in the last two weeks was concern about my milk supply. About the time he started going 7 hours at night (thus, dropping a nighttime feed), I began feeling like my supply was in jeopardy. This may be the first time I've ever really noticed what I felt like was a drop in supply.

So, why now? Could be I'm older. Could be I've got five kids now and do a lot more than I used to do. Could be I was trying to exercise too much, too fast. Could be I tried to quit drinking sweet tea and forgot to drink enough water some days. Could be a couple days in there where I just got busy and wasn't eating as much as I probably should (reminder: breastfeeding requires about 500 additional calories per day, ladies!). Could be he hit a growth spurt and was really intaking whatever I could make as fast as I could make it.

Whatever the case, here was my response:

• Be careful to get enough water! And yes, I jumped back into drinking sweet tea more. Interestingly, when I delivered Moses, the hospital cafeteria delivery people brought in a big pitcher of something and said it would be good for "helping me make milk". I'd obviously never used this stuff before so figured I'd be fine without trying some new hospital-created concoction. When my friend, the English-speaking pediatrician, came in to check out Moses, she explained that it is basically a sugar-infused fruit water. She learned I was drinking sweet tea, and said, "oh- that's the same thing. It gives you some extra calories while giving you plenty of fluids. Drink that." So maybe I'll continue on with the sweet tea. Doctors orders and all. :)
• Nurse longer at each session-- supply keeps up with demand and so by helping him to nurse a few minutes longer on each side at each feeding (even though I felt "empty"), it snowballs over time and causes my body to produce more!
• Feed him slightly more frequently-- for me, at this age, that means closer to the 2 & 1/2 hour mark -- definitely don't try to stretch feeds farther apart when your supply seems to be dropping!
• Slow down. Rest more. Maybe it's because I've got more kiddos now, but jumping back into high-energy exercise may not be possible right now. More low-key yoga may be just the thing for this season. Letting my body work the way it's supposed to (by feeding my baby) is WAY more important than getting a size or two smaller. Even though I'd really enjoy being more trim and healthy, right now, top priority is the health and growth of my little man. So, I'm scaling back the exercise a bit.

I know some people also swear by certain herbs and teas to increase milk supply. For us, that would just be too cost-prohibitive (to ship abroad) since generally, my body makes plenty of milk. But if I was struggling more than just what it was, I would look into those things as well. So in my case, just a few tweaks to my norms have gotten things back to where they ought to be (I have noticed things return to a higher level of production since implementing these changes).

So this is roughly how the last two weeks (weeks six and seven with our new son) have gone. He's still working his way back up again, going five or five & a half hours between night time feeds, and is just a little sweet potato. I wish I could share pictures of his sweetness, but the crashing of my computer and busyness as of late have kept me from figuring out how to upload pictures to my husband's Mac. Hopefully I'll learn soon, cause you're missing out on one very precious baby.


[Here are links to this whole Babywise series: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Weeks 6 & 7, Weeks 8-14]

7 Quick Takes Friday, again

Well, I did it last week and it was good for me, and many of you said you enjoyed reading it too... so let's give it another go!

1. On HEALTH: I've been trading off between the Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred and Firm Yoga. I feel good after both of them, but they're quite different. I want to keep it up but also want to be careful to maintain my milk supply, as I've felt that it's been affected some by the additional strain from exercise. I'm also trying --trying!-- to stop drinking my husband's awesome sweet tea throughout the day and just limit myself to a glass or two at dinner. But man, I got into a bad habit in the pregnant heat of this summer. So I'm aiming to replace those sweet tea hankerings with ice water. Yum. Really, there is something about water that just hits the spot. Plus, like I mentioned, I wanna keep up that milk supply.
   
   
2. I also went to the mall all by myself-- I can't remember the last time that happened-- and bought a couple of shirts and a new skirt so I have something nice to wear from time to time. "What Not To Wear"'s Clinton & Stacey resonate in my head sometimes, and I heard them dissing my cooking-oil-stained, ill-fitting, everything-in-my-entire-wardrobe-is-several-years-old clothing selection. So I did something about it. Well, I have to be honest, I did a little something about it. Most of what I have in my drawers still fits that description, but a girl can only do so much solo shopping with a little sweet nursling waiting for her to get home at a certain time. Anyway, I had fun buying a few new things. Frugality is wonderful, and contentment is a key to joy. But it feels nice to at least feel like I can be presentable and not distracted wondering if anyone around me has noticed the huge oil stains from when I made fried eggs and forgot to wear an apron one time two years ago.
   
   Living overseas, getting used to different shops, sizes, and clothing quality, as well as just the normal time constraints of a homeschooling mom of (now) five has definitely put a damper on my ability to shop (and even my awareness of how to shop). In America, I used to just occasionally pop into Kohl's or Old Navy, head straight for my favorite section of the store, browse the sales rack, try a few things on, and buy what was needed. By that method, pretty much for my whole adult life, I'd continually maintained a presentable wardrobe, no matter what size I was, no matter what our budget was (both Old Navy & Kohl's have killer sales!), etc.
   
   But here, the quality of cotton here is poorer, the washers and dryers are harder on clothes, and it's an indoor/outdoor culture. The rules are different. Let's says you buy a few new shirts for summer, by American standards, you think you're all set, and that those shirts should last you at least 2-3 summers before wearing out. But here, the seams pull on one of the shirts and it's ripped and ruined the first wash. Or, the cotton that was strong and pretty at the beginning of the summer is faded and worn and thin by the end of the summer. Or, moths eat through it despite your best efforts to kill any ones you see and use cedar blocks and mothballs anywhere clothes are stored... because the windows and doors are constantly open since there's not central A/C. And I'm not whining, I'm just saying, the rules here are different. But at least I have a few nice things for now.
   
   
3. On CUTTING COSTS: This week, I made a price book. And I'm really excited about it... I can't wait to go grocery shopping this weekend and have another receipt worth of prices to enter in. :) That sounds really geeky, but I really am looking forward to this. I can think of all kinds of great ways to use the information I'll learn. Not only where to stock up on which products, but also knowing for sure what constitutes a good deal.
   
   I don't know what happened. I used to be able to keep track of all that (really!) in my head when we lived in the US, but something about translating everything into another currency and then throwing in kilograms and milliliters just really blows a hole into whatever knowledge of price per pound or cents per unit I used to have stored away in this here brain.
   
   
4. Oh. I probably should have mentioned this first. My computer died. It ought to be sort of a sad thing, but really, aside from the inconvenience of having to write things down to remember to do later rather than just being able to quickly answer a question or pop off an e-mail when I think of it, it's really been quite nice. (I did predict that the poor thing was declining, so I'd already copied all relevant files/pictures/music to an external hard drive, so there's no tragedy involved.) I've spent even more time with the kiddos. My house is cleaner. And my brain is less distracted, somehow. I like this. I'm not sure we're going to replace my computer, so I guess it's a good thing I like it. :)
   
   
5. Amendment to that last point: I did lose all of my bookmarks. This is not something of tragic proportions, but I do feel a good bit of loss at all the great bookmarks I had saved up for a Show & Tell sometime soon... AND for all of my homeschool tabs. Anyone happen to know if you can retrieve bookmarks from a dead computer? It's a Dell, and I used Mozilla Firefox, if that makes a difference.
   
   
6. I had an idea last week to share some of my best nursing tips, but as Steve Miller might say, time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future. So instead, those of you new mamas checking out Making Home and needing encouragement in the breastfeeding department ought to check out this post. She said lots of things I hoped to say.
   
   One thing she didn't say, particularly for avoiding breast infections, is to ditch the underwire in your nursing bras. At least initially. Something about that dadgum underwire pressing into me, well, I don't want to get too explicit, but I've found that when I wear one in those early months, it just contributes to or leads to a breast infection... and when I wear just a normal, supportive, non-underwire bra, well, I just don't end up in pain. So that's one important tip I've picked up along the way.
   
   And, if you're wondering, I did not obey this rule of mine and felt an infection coming on last week. It took a couple days of nursing first on the painful side, drinking tons of water, getting extra rest, and taking the occasional pain med before I got rid of that dad-blasted infection. Fifth baby, fifth infection. Go figure. I thought this would be my chance to avoid it... but I forgot my rule about no underwire. I always try to go back to wearing underwire too soon, drat! You can do better than me. Avoid underwire like the plague in those early months of nursing!
   
   
7. A semi-embarrassing story: At some point this last week, I was reading an article online and it vexed me greatly. Though I can't now recall what the article was about, as I was reading it, I reacted out loud: "What a bunch of CRAP!"
   
   My four-year-old daughter looked up from across the room and said, "a bunch of crap? I want to see a bunch of crap!" And she ran over to where I was sitting as Doug & I glanced at each other (can't believe she just said that!), stifling our horrified giggles. Peering at the computer screen, she said, "where? Where are the crabs?" She thought I was referencing a picture of a bunch of CRABS. I told her there weren't any crabs, and she (quite naturally) was thoroughly confused! Oops.
   
   So there's a little slice of life here, just keeping it real.

Thoughts? Advice? Any response at all?

[eta: After reading back through this, I realize I'm not very good at the "quick" part of seven quick takes... oh well. It is what it is. Sorry for my long-windedness.]

7 Quick Takes Friday

Well, Jennifer over at Conversion Diary does this ("7 Quick Takes Friday") every Friday. This is my first time, and may be my only time- I don't do well with online consistency. :) But here are 7 (actually, it's 8) "Quick Takes" from my week:

1. Moses (he's nearly 6 weeks old, can you believe it?) has been sleeping 6-7 hours each night for the last week now. Oh my goodness, my body and mind are feeling the delight.
   
   
2. I just did Level 1 of Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred. Feels good. It's a 20-minute deal... it cracked me up when she said, "I know you just want to shut off this DVD right now, but keep it going. Stay with me." Because I totally felt like shutting it off. But I know she's right... if I put in the work, I can be healthy. My goal isn't to have fabulous abs... but to be healthy and strong. I think this should contribute to that. Let's just all hope I can consistently do this a few times a week.
   
   
3. There is a real stress to life with little ones that we all feel but isn't too often discussed, because it's embarrassing and frustrating to feel yourself be a grump towards your kids. I've been feeling it. It's a combination of hormones, heat, the hectic pace, and happening-upon-spilled-juice,-play-doh-messes,-and-someone-crying-"he-just-hit-me", all at the same time. Or something along those lines. And none of us are perfect.
   
   My husband and I have been talking about how to deal better with these things... like, expect a spill at least once a day, then you won't be surprised when it happens. And, pray for self-control and gracious words in our reactions. And, call each other on it when we've blown it (yes, this one requires both parties fully signing onto this agreement, or else it could get ugly). And, just be honest with our kids that we are imperfect humans and humbly ask for their forgiveness each time it's needed. Any other practical ideas on dealing with frustration and anger?
   
   
4. I finished "You Can Farm" by Joel Salatin at the beginning of this week, and you know what? I believe him. After reading that book, I feel like if I wanted to, I really COULD farm. But I think I've already mentioned my problem with consistency over time, haven't I? He makes the point that cows don't do well if you milk them at 4pm one day, 5pm the next, and 3pm the next. Consistency matters... so I don't think I'll be running a dairy (except for the milk I personally produce) anytime soon.
   
   
5. Also, today, I finished reading Julie and Julia. Wow, she has a foul mouth. And she admits to it, I'm not saying anything she didn't say at least half a dozen times in her own book. Maybe I'm really out of it but do people really, in real life, seriously curse that often? She used the f-word in probably every possible part of speech at some point in the book. And yes, I kept reading. I'm really not altogether offended by cuss words, and I'd heard great things about the story line (on that point-- eh, it was OK), so I pressed on. But even though I'm not that offended by cuss words, I do notice cuss words, especially when they are such a large percentage of a person's used vocabulary.
   
   And as for the book, I dog-eared one recipe I want to try, but the book itself struck me as highly self-absorbed, cloyingly hip and cynical, and like what so many people without Christ need to do to try to find purpose in their lives. You know... the people in Better Off that lived off the grid and joined an Amish community for a year. The guy who "lived biblically" for a year by following the Old Testament laws and took to carrying around a stool so he didn't have to sit on the same chair that a menstruating woman had sat on. The guy currently walking across America so he can take it all in (he's in Oregon now, almost done!). I'm not saying any of these are bad (in fact, except for the absurdity of the legalistic stool guy, I think all of these are pretty neat ideas and stuff I myself would like to do/learn how to do). But I think we all--even "Christians"-- can tend to seek fulfillment through things/experiences rather than in Christ. It's great to want to learn to cook well, but that, in and of itself, will never bring long-lasting fulfillment.
   
   
6. It's been a long time since I've had a real life female close friend. A heart-level honesty-baring friend. I miss that. I've taken to baring my soul to our ladies' Bible study group each week... which is great for transparency and accountability, but not good for getting feedback and really connecting with another person the way it happens when it's 1-on-1. But I'll take what I can get and I am thankful for those ladies who hear what is basically my confession each week.
   
   
7. Finally, my husband is just incredible. I love him, I love him, I love him. He 1-Corinthian-13-style-loves me so faithfully and palpably... and I would be up a creek without him. I wouldn't be me without him. He challenges me and laughs with me and cares for our children and makes me sleep in (yes, makes me, because often once I wake up the first time during daylight hours--to nurse-- my mind starts racing and it's very difficult for me to fall back asleep) and rubs my feet and corrals four children at the dinner table single-handedly (while I nurse Moses) and leads us to memorize Scripture (which I basically stink at, were it not for his taking the lead in this direction) and more that I'm just not going to lay out here because it would take all day. Basically, he's incredible. I know it's a blessing... and I'm so thankful for him.
   
   
8. OK, I came back to add this one, so consider it a freebie. Today, we were driving and listening to music, and our oldest son said, "my favorite bands are U2, the Beatles, and Johnny Cash". Now, that's some good taste, if I do say so myself. :)

And that's my first, and what may be my only, 7--no 8-- Quick Takes Friday. Feedback? Thoughts?

Chronicling Babywise- Week 5

(This is #5 in a series chronicling our Baby Wise routine with our fifth child. CLICK HERE TO SEE: Week One, Week Two, Week Three, Week Four.)

This week was another one that went by very quickly... I'm learning and doing some new things with my free time and enjoying that a great deal. It was a great week! Moses is growing so well (we had his one-month pediatrician's visit, and he's well over 10 pounds now), and is more and more alert and interactive. He's started smiling at multiple family members, batting at toys on his bouncy seat, and cooing at anyone who sits with him long enough to listen. It's so fun to get to know this new little soul, created by God, and watch him learn about the world and our family.
IN THE SWING OF THINGS
As far as Babywise goes, it was also an excellent week. Moses is now quite accustomed to the daytime routine, and only (maybe) once a day do I either have to rouse him because he's slept too long or hold him off a few minutes if he's woken up a bit early. And I'm often still helping him to sleep, but that is not burdensome. I love to snuggle with him and it only takes a few minutes of snuggles with a pacifier for him to fall asleep.

(I will say, this is the first time I've done this-- holding/helping a baby to sleep in my arms-- so frequently, and a lot of it is due to the weather and our situation here... we do not have A/C as we did with all 3 of our other June & July babies, and it is not cold as it was with our March baby... so I can't swaddle him like I did with all of them. He already has a heat rash and I just don't want him to sweat or be miserable all wrapped up when we're all dying of heat.) Anyway. With the other babies, swaddling helped significantly to teach them to sleep after a short waketime, and he does too in the cooler hours of the day.

FEELIN' LIKE A NEW WOMAN!
One very exciting piece of news this week is that he jumped up quite a bit in his nighttime sleep this week!!! Tuesday night, he slept 5 & 1/2 hours before waking (I was shocked!). Wednesday night, he did 5 hours between feeds. Thursday, we went to the doctor and he got a vaccination and was a bit fussy for the rest of the day so he reverted to the every-3 & 1/2 hour- feed throughout that night. But Friday night, he slept 5 hours & 45 minutes (yes, I'll count even those extra 15 minutes... those were like a balm for my weary body!), and last night (Saturday night), he slept just over SIX HOURS! I couldn't believe it!

He's been very happy and content throughout the day and night, and he's gaining weight well, so this is obviously good for him too. And I'm over the moon. Even if he reverts at any point (we are about to hit the 6-week mark so that may mean a growth-spurt and need to feed more often again to boost my supply), this jump in the amount of sleep I'm getting is such a gift, and felt so very needed!
MISCELLANEOUS DETAILS
Like I've said before, there is NO crying-it-out in this scenario. He is sleeping this length of time on his own because he is getting the calories and waketime he needs during the daytime hours. He is in the room with us and never cries longer than the few seconds it takes for us to hear him and get him from his bed. And because he knows the gig (that he will eat right away after waking up), he stops crying very quickly and waits to latch on.

Last week. a commenter asked if, at nighttime, I nurse laying down or sitting up. I've done it both ways. And fallen asleep both ways, LOL, only to find myself holding or laying next to a baby wanting to nurse hours later. If we're in bed, I find that I don't often achieve the full feeding, because it's just too easy to fall asleep (for me).

So, I tend to go ahead and sit up, prop my pillows up against the headboard, and around me so that I can nurse easily, and sit up for the 30-minute-or-so time it takes to feed. At first, I do it easily. Around weeks 1-3 I get really exhausted and can hardly stay awake.

But I've learned that it's worth it to work for full feedings (whether it's me or the baby I have to work to keep awake!). The longer we fool around with half-feedings and snacking in the middle of the night, I'm essentially working against myself in the goal of helping them achieve nighttime sleep. The more consistent I am, the more easily, and often more quickly, we'll achieve that end goal of blissful sleep for all parties involved. Doug's iPhone has helped with staying awake. :) I can grab it and browse the web while nursing... and I also try to find exciting books to read for those feed times, so that helps. Now that Moses is just waking up once a night, it's quite easy for me to stay awake for the full feeding and tuck him back into bed for our last few-hour-stretch of sleep before morning.

OUR BASIC ROUTINE
At this point, here's what our days/nights look like, as far as Moses' schedule goes:

7am-feed, longer waketime, lay down around 8:30/9am.
9:30- feed, shorter wake time, go to sleep around 10:30.
12 or 12:30- feed, wake time, lay down
3- feed, wake, nap
5:30- feed, longer waketime, short nap
8/8:30- feed, short waketime, sleep
10:30/11pm- feed (no waketime) and then right to sleep
4am- feed (no waketime) and then right back to sleep


All said, we're now waking up just one time a night, and he's growing and content. All of our weeks with Moses have been delightful, but this one was particularly nice for me because he surprised me with the unexpected gift of lengthier sleep. Thank you, Moses, and thank you, Baby Wise!


[Here are links to this whole Babywise series: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Weeks 6 & 7, Weeks 8-14]

Chronicling Babywise- Week 4

Well, this week just got away from me and I did not chronicle day by day (or even every couple days) like I had in the previous weeks (CLICK HERE TO SEE: Week One, Week Two, Week Three). But here's what most days this week looked like:

Pretty much every day we nursed at the 2 & 1/2 - 3 hour mark throughout the day (and honestly, I try to keep it pretty close to that 2 & 1/2 hour time... and he does too... I start feeling the milk let-down, and he wakes up & starts crying, usually within a few minutes of that 2 & 1/2 hour mark, so both of us are a bit geared towards this routine now). :) Nearly every day this week, there was one feeding where he was hungry before the 2 & 1/2 hour mark, sometimes at two hours, and one time (this evening) at the 1 & 1/2 hour mark. So he got fed at that time.

Most nights now, he's sleeping one 4 or 4 & 1/2 hour stretch, plus a 3 hour stretch, so that's going in the right direction. I'm definitely feeling the exhaustion, but thinking/hoping that maybe we're about half-way through the time when he'll be waking up at night. He's four weeks old today, and our other four kids have started sleeping 6+ hours at night between 5 & 1/2 and 10 weeks, so maybe we're about halfway through.

I do know that I need to drink plenty of water, and not do too much. Today I started back a very mild school routine with the older boys (I can't believe I have a 3rd grader and a 1st grader-- wow, time flies!). So things are plugging along here in our house. I guess we're adjusting to our new normal.


[Here are links to this whole Babywise series: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Weeks 6 & 7, Weeks 8-14]

Food For Thought Friday

"It is not an easy thing for a parent of today to bear always in mind that every child of his is as truly an individual as he was when he was a child." ~Henry Clay Trumbull

Chronicling Babywise- Week 3

I'm taking this go-round with a new baby to chronicle our day-by-day use of the Baby Wise routine. We've used it to help all four of our older children achieve early full-nights' sleep; now we have a new baby- our sweet little Moses, born July 12. Click these to read the previous weeks:

WEEK ONE

WEEK TWO

Days 15 & 16: These were both average sort of days, with Moses eating every 2 & 1/2 hours or so, having good amounts of wake time during the day (anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour and a half), and sleeping at night, waking up 2-3 times to eat (he's waking to nurse every 3-4 hours at night now), but then going right back to sleep. And of course we're still keeping up the basic cycle of Babywise: eat-wake-sleep, regardless of how long those waketimes are.

Though I'm really tired, I know rest will come, and so I'm pressing on-- being careful to still see that Moses gets full feedings, and not going longer than 3 hours between daytime feeds.

WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN HE IS STRONG

God has been so good to me, giving me reserves of energy and times of quiet and rest at some point in each day. I plan to write more about this soon, but I'll share a smidge of it here-- I'm really aware, more with Moses added to our family than ever before, of just how much I need the Lord. I'm also beginning to realize just how much I've relied on myself-- my strength, my determination, my grit, my plans... and how each person the Lord adds to our family requires me to cling more closely to Him. If there's any way this postpartum mom of five can be lovingly patient and kind, and both gentle and diligent in the consistent discipling of our kiddos, it's only by His grace and strength flowing through me. My prayer life is improving by necessity. :)

But thankfully, I'm witnessing some ultra-precious moments during this time:

Day 17: Today's feedings, waketimes, and naps were going along normally (eating every 2 & 1/2 hours, having pleasant wake times, etc.) and then this afternoon, I noticed he was rooting around again just one hour after a quite full feeding (one he'd gulped down!). At first I thought, "oh I'll just put in the pacifier," thinking that after that big meal and a short waketime he must be ready to sleep, but he didn't want the pacifier. And suddenly I knew why-- I even mentioned it in the comment box on last week's post. It came to me all at once-- he's about to hit a growth spurt!

A GROWTH SPURT?

Growth spurts are something I'd heard about but didn't fully understand when I first encountered it with our first son. When he was just a few weeks old, I remember a day and a half spent wondering, "what in the world is going on?" -- he wanted to nurse non-stop! I was utterly exhausted. He was my biggest baby- over 9 pounds- and I was still recovering from his birth, I'd had a breast infection (mastitis) for several weeks at that point, and (of course) he wasn't sleeping through the night yet. We were packing up our clutter-filled apartment to move across the country, and did I mention I was exhausted? He nursed all day long and then one night in particular, I remember that no sooner did I end a feeding than he began rooting around again. That night, I literally nursed him all. night. long. At first, I was confused and worried. I remember wondering if my milk wasn't enough, but I was fortunate to have 3 or 4 nursing books on hand and they explained the idea of the growth spurt.

Generally, for me, growth spurts have happened around these basic timeframes: when the baby is 3 days old, 3 weeks old (thus, the one I noticed today), 6 weeks old, (sometimes at 9 weeks old), 3 months old, and then 6 months (usually when we start solid foods) and 9 months old. These aren't exact times, but they help jog my memory when I suspect that our nursling is heading into one; it helps confirm my suspicions.

So today, when he wanted to eat every hour for 3 hours straight, I fed him. The goal of helping him to achieve nighttime sleep early must coexist alongside the goal of maintaining a good milk supply, and meeting the baby's needs. Generally speaking, the aim of giving a newborn full feedings every 2 & 1/2 hours or so supports a good milk supply. But on the days when a growth spurt happens, the time frame flies out the window and the whole goal, regardless of how often the feedings happen, is to satisfy the infant's hunger with full feedings. For me, this morning, that was still roughly every 2 & 1/2 hours, but for 3 hours straight this afternoon, that happened every hour. Then he did one normal cycle, and then wanted to eat an hour later. Again, I fed him because he was hungry.

GROWTH SPURTS & THE BASIC RULE OF SUPPLY & DEMAND

If it goes like others have gone, at some point in the next 36-48 hours, I will probably feel like I'm nursing round the clock. I have often wondered if first-time moms who hit a growth spurt time might inadvertently think that they're not making enough milk. Because on these days (usually, in my experience, the crazy-hungry part of the growth spurts last about 36-48 hours), it would be easy to think, "see? He's not satisfied! We'd better just supplement with formula so we'll know he's getting enough!"

But what's actually happening is this: your body is being prepared for an increase in your baby's need for milk. The baby needs to grow, and for that to happen, the amount of milk that sustained his growth as a two-day old, two-week old, or two-month old is not enough. So, amazingly, God made it so that an infant will have these times of increased demand so that your body will produce an increased supply. It's a very simple idea, and yet in the stress of particularly the first time of breastfeeding, it would be easy to mistake this basic rule of supply & demand for a lack of milk. I can easily envision, without this information, being ready to give up on breastfeeding for fear that your body just "can't make enough".

Day 18: Well, I think we are moving into growth spurt mode. Last night, instead of every 3-4 hours as he had been doing, he woke and ate every 2-2 & 1/2 hours. Then this morning he wanted to eat at roughly the 2 hour/2 hour, 15 minute mark.

"PARENTAL ASSESSMENT"
When this happens (a baby wanting to eat a bit "early"), with Babywise, I can opt to feed him early, given what I know, or I could try to hold him off a bit. And at various times, we do various things. Sometimes, like this, I know true hunger is present. So of course, I feed the baby. Which, again, I'll stress, is exactly what Ezzo recommends. If the baby is hungry, you feed the baby. But sometimes a noise wakes a baby up early from his nap, or he has a poopy diaper. At that point, it's not hunger that woke him up-- it was an intrustion/interruption.

So if that was the case, I'd use a variety of "tools" to maybe hold him off 15-30 minutes as needed. For example, when I had a backyard, I might take the baby out for a little 10-minute break on the back porch in filtered sunlight (and get a little vitamin D in the process!). Or I might change his diaper and give him a little bath afterward. We could hold him facing slightly outward in a sling and try to distract him by doing the dishes or watching his older siblings play. Or we might stand by the window and look at birds. There are a variety of ways to pleasantly help a baby to wait for a time so that he will be better able (with a more "ready" tummy) to take a full feeding.

But if there is hunger present, feed the baby. This is a critical aspect of Babywise, and one that's often missed by those who would cast it as a "schedule" or "strict" plan. "Parental assessment", as Ezzo stresses, is such an important component. Without it, there can be either rigidity or chaos. But with it, decisions like the ones I mentioned above are brought into clearer focus.


Days 19 & 20
I'm combining these days because they were similar, but also because I haven't had time to write because I've been so busy nursing! :) On both of these days, there were some normal 2 & 1/2 hour cycles, but many times when his hunger dictated an earlier feeding. Sometimes, he was even hungry just an hour or hour and a half after feeding! So he got fed. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but Ezzo makes it clear in the book that whenever a baby is hungry, you feed them. If there's confusion about why there was a short cycle, it can be examined/thought about later. In this case, as I wrote earlier, I had anticipated the three-week growth spurt, so whenever I noticed that he was rooting around and hungry, he got fed.

In the nighttime, he's been eating every 2 & 1/2 hours, almost to the minute. So even though he's eating more often during the day, he's still taking his longer cycles at night... which is brilliant. And sure enough, at the end of these days, my milk supply is quite a bit stronger and fuller than it was just a few days ago. Growth spurt success!

DAY 21
Things seem to be getting back to "normal" as far as his eat/wake/sleep cycle. Not only that but he's clearly satisfied, and is getting even chunkier.

He's had some spit-up (getting close, almost, to the amount of spit-up my second son struggled with when he had projectile vomiting). By the way, following the Babywise routine can be a great way to help a baby who struggles with projectile vomiting, because the mom is carefully tuned into the amount of time spent nursing and the amount of milk the baby is intaking. Because I just had the increase in milk production (from the growth spurt), I'm being careful to not just let him snooze at the breast after nursing for that 10-15 minute amount on each side. When I have let him go longer, those are the times when he has excessive spit-up, and I remember that from my second son. By helping him to take in a good amount, rather than an excessive amount, of milk, I'm able to help moderate the amount of excess that comes back up via spit-up.

This morning, I actually had to wake him to feed between 2 & 1/2 and 3 hours. That means my milk supply has increased, and he's satisfied! Also (hopefully), this will make for good, longer sleep cycles again in the coming evenings, because he's grouping his intake of calories during the daytime hours, and his sleep needs will be met both through good daytime naps and lengthier cycles in the nighttime.

[Update Monday morning: he slept 4 & 1/2 hours, 2 & 1/2 hours, and just over 3 hours last night... so it does seem that the increased intake (post-growth-spurt) is increasing his sleep amounts... yay!]

A FEW THOUGHTS:
(1) Some assert that Babywise is a cry-it-out system-- it's clearly not! Not from the way the book is written, and not from the way it plays out in our home. Babywise helps moms and babies group feedings and calories during the day so that babies learn to sleep on their own at night. There are methods that teach a baby to cry by following a set number of days, or set number of minutes to leave a baby to cry, but that is not what Babywise does. There may be times, with an older baby that has already consistently been sleeping through the night, that they grizzle or fuss a bit as they readjust themselves or fall back asleep... but this is not a cry-it-out method.

And as I've said, a newborn baby is never left to cry... to the contrary, when baby cries, Ezzo encourages a careful parental assessment to determine what's wrong... is it gas? a noise? a dirty diaper? Something else? Or hunger? That process of assessment helps the new mom to learn the differences between her new baby's cries, and meet the need of her baby. It teaches us to engage our minds as we think about what's causing baby's discomfort, and that's a good thing.

(2) I'm not a Babywise-only sort of gal. I've read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" and "The Nursing Mother's Companion" and many, many other early-motherhood tomes. Almost every book has things we can glean from it, and some are more useful than others. I want to encourage new moms: read widely and broadly! Don't hold something (a system, book, or idea) so closely that you can't learn from other things that contradict it. Hold ideas out in front of you, like a precious stone, and examine them for inconsistencies or problem spots. Because virtually every "system" has weaknesses, or areas that can be problematic if not carefully thought through. Like I've encouraged before, I strongly suggest that new moms educate themselves about breastfeeding, parenting, and loving our children. It is wise and fruitful to look at what others have done well, and consider their ideas.

(Is this face not precious???)

(3) For the woman or family who (like me) just does not function well without getting regular sleep, Baby Wise can be a sanity saver! Others may not share that need and can function fine without large segments of sleep for long periods of their lives. For my part, I owe it to my kids to help them get the sleep they need, but also to be the mom they need by taking care of my body's need for sleep so that I can parent them in something other than sustained-survival mode (I'm not speaking about anyone else's needs-- rather, this is the way my body/mind works if I go long stints without sufficient sleep). Babywise helps me achieve both aims.

We can rely on God for strength when it's needed, and at the same time, we can wisely use natural processes to help meet our children's physical needs. It's my job to help my kids get both the food and the sleep that they need. So for me, Babywise is a real gift. It helps me to meet the baby's needs for calories AND meet both our needs for good nighttime sleep. When thoughtfully implemented, Babywise can be a real benefit for those moms who want to achieve healthy nighttime sleep with their babies.


[Here are links to this whole Babywise series: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Weeks 6 & 7, Weeks 8-14]