Where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom

There is an area of many Christian women's lives where they do not experience freedom. Instead, there is guilt, bondage, shame, and a feeling of dirtiness. A lack of fun. Lack of enjoyment. Lack of delight. Despite God's design to the contrary.

Related to this, there is an area of many Christian men's lives where they do not experience freedom. Instead, there is guilt, bondage, shame, and a feeling of dirtiness. A lack of fun. Lack of enjoyment. Lack of delight. Despite God's design to the contrary.

These areas are one and the same: freedom (within the boundaries set by God) in the area of physical oneness in the marriage relationship.

"The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Genesis 2:25

Our enemy (your adversary, the devil) knows he can kill two birds with one stone if he can aim that stone right at a Christian woman's sexual relationship with her husband. If he can take away the blessing of freedom, the blessing of oneness, the blessing of mutual delight, he will. If he can make a woman feel dirty for having fun, if he can make a man feel like the only way he can really have fun is to go elsewhere, he will. If he can make a woman believe that "a good girl doesn't enjoy that" or make a man feel like the only men having fun are those using porn and having affairs, he will. He will do anything to wreck the delight and pleasure that comes when two people enjoy the absolute freedom that God gives us within the bounds of marriage: one woman, one man, for life.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." -Galatians 5:1

My heart is burdened for so many women I read about that let certain things keep them from delighting in their husbands in this way. Being overweight, having been sexual abused, not having an example of a Godly woman delighting in this area, feeling like sex is "dirty," or thinking that a Christian man ought not want that... these are all things that our crafty enemy wants to use to kill and destroy our marriages. Don't mistake me to mean that we ought not treat these as serious issues if they exist in our lives. It is hard to be overweight and feel as beautiful or desirable as you did when you were 2 or 3 sizes smaller. It is very difficult to overcome sexual abuse, but it can be overcome. It is common in churches today to not have had an example of a Godly woman who delights in oneness with her husband. The enemy wants us to paint ourselves into a corner of being too "spiritual" to seek to enjoy intimacy. To make our husband feel guilty for wanting what God made him to want. Satan has quite effectively taken a warped image of sexuality and sold it to everyone in our culture- that sex inside marriage is boring and lame, and only outside marriage can it be titillating, exciting, fun-filled, and adventurous. That is the EXACT opposite of what I believe God would have us live out.

"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure." -Hebrews 13:4

My aim is to encourage you: if you are a Christian wife who has been robbed of delight in this area (through the enemy, through an abuser, through a lack of example, whatever), God made it for the same reason He made everything else: "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever". Sex is a way of glorifying God and enjoying Him. Glorify God by delighting in the gift He has given to married couples. No one else can enjoy this gift in a way that is pleasing to God. No one else can thrill your husband and have it be glorifying to God. Christian lady, YOU are the only godly outlet for your husband in this area. Other people can be his friend. Other people can cook for him. No other woman can delight him in this area in a way that honors God.

So today, if you are a Christian married woman, consider if this may be an area where the enemy has kept you bound, feeling shameful, or taught you to believe a lie about intimacy with your husband. Today, right now, brainstorm some ways that you might reclaim this area in your life- some ways that you might glorify God by delighting in this gift with your husband.


This is my prayer and sincere hope for you- that just as we as believers ought to delight fully in the relationship we have with Christ, you as a Christian woman would fully delight in the relationship you have with your husband.

"Where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is freedom." -2 Corinthians 3:17