"Do not grow weary in well-doing!" If only you could see the harvest of righteousness that has been reaped from what you're now sowing!
I know the days are long...sometimes you're overwhelmed with aggravation with the childishness of those kids (who all turn out to be QUITE interesting adults, you may be interested to know). :) Sometimes (like today), you go the whole day without even thinking about what day of the month it is. Some days get eaten up by Martha-like tasks, some by needs, some by "mommy, can we please..."'s and some by the "birds".
Slow down. Sure, take the time to write, and take the time to keep learning and seeking wisdom. But take the time to inhale these days that will one day be so distant. Take in the sweet tug of Silas at your breast. Enjoy the laughter and jokes that Ethan and Baxter share through each day. Delight in Maranatha's tiny hand in yours as you go about your daily chores.
Do not take for granted those moments you now have. Don't let "good" things overwhelm and crowd out the task God has called you to as a mother and a wife.
Try, Jessica, to see yourself as God sees you-- a beloved, delightful, and yet struggling, work in progress. Don't take on the weight of the world-- but don't shrug off the weight of the yoke you carry. It's heavy, true-- but you're not the first, nor will you be the last, woman to bear four children in six years. You're not the first woman to struggle with life overseas. You're not the first person to have to move away from the places you love (even like China).
REST in His big plan- you've already learned that His plans are the greatest adventure. So, now you're in the rapids of life. As each progressive rapid comes your way, rejoice at these things:
1- WHO is in control of your journey
2- WHO is in the boat with you
3- the fact that others can learn from your trip through the rapids
4- the view that is solely yours-- only God sees every single thing that you see-- so delight in your unique perspective as you shoot through the quick-fire surges of stress, joy, and struggles.
He is so good and He loves you so dearly.
Love, Your future self.