Trying on Shoes

I don't know if you're like me, but when shoe shopping, I find that I drift towards the same kinds of shoes. For me it's not too fancy, not too flashy-- maybe fun, probably cute, but most of all practical.

I have shoes on my mind tonight because I was thinking of how different shoes make us feel. How shoes can change a person. Cinderella. Elle on Legally Blonde. Forest Gump.

Remember that song, "these boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do. One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you."? When I see modern feminists do the stand-up-for-my-rights-at-all-costs thing, it comes across like this song. No matter who's hurt, no matter how it feels to others, no matter whether it's clearly wrong, I'm gonna put on these boots and doggone it, I'll walk where I please.

Then I thought about John the Baptist's assessment of himself in relation to Christ-- "I'm not even worthy to untie his sandal straps." He recognized Christ's supremacy... and it made him aware of his own role as lower than a servant.

Even though the first attitude is deemed laudable in our culture (particularly for women!), in God's economy, servanthood, self-control, putting others first, submission, giving honor to others, thinking of how others should be treated... these things are esteemed. For men and women. I don't often esteem them, but I want to.

I guess this here is my little confession for the night: I want to learn more about servanthood. I may not ever be what I ought to be, but by the grace from the Father and the inner working of the Spirit, He can make me more like Jesus-- the ultimate servant.

Today, we outwardly had a "successful" day. We made Christmas crafts, decorated the tree, and even had time to make and eat a really tasty cake. But too often, my attitude was cross and strained... and it poured over into what I saw reflected in the eyes and words of the kids throughout the day. I want to serve and love them as they ought to be loved.

I don't want to be the mom, the wife, or the woman who "stands up for my rights" first and foremost.... not that it's wrong to have rules or standards-- don't misread my words. But my attitude should be that of a servant. One who thinks of others' needs first.

Today I didn't do that. But by God's grace, tomorrow I get another shot. And with His help, I might just do better than I did today.


me said...

peace & grace,

Julie said...

I wanted to let you know that God has worked through you and your site so powerfully. I was disappointed when you decided to stop posting not long after I started reading your blog, though I understand your reasons.

Thanks for this reminder about servanthood. I always need the reminder to willingly follow Christ's example and sacrifice my own selfishness.

Persuaded said...

My two oldest daughters were talking the other day...
My oldest said, "I need to learn to stand up for myself."
and her sister said, "I need to learn how to not stand up for myself."

Sigh.. I think I am still working on that lesson myself. Servanthood is hard, and the more I understand the true nature of it the more difficult it becomes.

Nice to see you blogging again, my dear:)

Allison said...

This is very true. I too need to learn this lesson.

Oh, and to echo the sentiments of the first commenter, your blog definitely made an impact on my life. When I think about what God used (as a then newly-wed) to change my attitudes toward children, I can't think long without thinking of your blog!
My 10 month-old will probably one day be pretty glad that God used you to say children are blessings.

God bless, and even though we aren't hearing from you as often, I am glad to know that your own husband and little people are your priorities. :)


Anonymous said...

This has been on my heart recently as well. Even when I do not respond with a horrible outward attitude I can feel the attitude of my heart being self-centered and proud so quickly. I too am praying for the right perspective on serving. I find the more I dwell on how Jesus has so beautifully served me in the gospel my heart learns a little more and it becomes easier to love as I have been loved....prayin for ya! Thanks for being transparent.
- Miranda

Candice said...

Oh, how I can relate to your description of the 'outwardly successful' day! My heart's desire is also that I would be loving and gently with my children consistently and not even have irritation (read: anger) in my voice! It's definitely a God-sized challenge to accomplish that in my heart and life! Thanks for your transparency. God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jess,

A friend taught me this. It's amazing. In any given moment, with any person, child, adult, friend or stranger, just think to yourself, "I appreciate you." It's like turning on a light switch. Something happens. Something shifts; inside myself, others, and within the moment.

Brent and Noele said...

Thank you for this post--it is a timely reminder. It's so good to see you posting again! Your blog is such an encouragement to me! Congratulations on the new little one in July--I just noticed your updated info. =)


Wendy said...

That's a good word. A good word, indeed.

Glad you're back!! Hope you enjoyed the break!!

Jess said...

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. I'm not sure that I am back to posting again... but I think whenever I feel an overwhelming need to write down something I'm learning or being challenged by, I may do it here. I'm really in a new season and quite content to not meet a weekly post goal or get out content just to meet someone else's idea of how to have a blog or maintain readership. Not that I've been a slave to these things, but I think they have ruminated in the back of my mind more and more as the blog has grown.

Having nearly 6 months of very sparse public writing has been good for my perspective, I think. We'll see what the future has, but I'll look forward to interacting with you all as the opportunities arise.

And Noele, thanks for the congrats. We are very excited. :)

Ruth said...

Aww, Jess I was just thinking today how I have missed your blog. I check now and then for your occasional post. I respect you for keeping your family the priority. You will not be sorry that you are being faithful to the most important things in this season.
Congratulations on the pregnancy! I am due with number five on July 18th. I hope you are feeling well. :)

Blessings to you!

Isla said...

Thank you for this post, Jess!
It is quite easy to concentrate on 'achieving things' throughout the day, and yes, it is fun. But - what about my attitude? What about my reactions and the WAY I do things? Whenever I feel cross or impatient or too self-centered etc. I try to stop for a second and breath and think of God - to remember, what my actual goal is: To respond in the right way and to serve my family and to it with love for Him and those around me.

It is difficult for me - I have to admit. But I trust God that he is working on my heart. :-)

Mary said...


Merry Christmas!

Kelly Summers said...

I came across you blog from Suzanne Brown's blog (not sure if you know here or not) but anyways, I really enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for the encouragement with such a culture pulling 'christian' world.

Melissa said...

I just stopped in and realized your sidebar info has been updated! Congratulations! I'm expecting in July, too...around the 4th.

kari said...

I am so glad you are "back",even if it's just for one time...;) COngrats on the baby! and
I think your post was meant for me, tonight. I needed this. Really really badly. :)
Have a blessed night.


Just came to your blog through Titus 2 At the Well, and can't get enough! You are a great writer and really an inspiration. As a former attorney turned submitted, fulfilled stay at home homeschooling mom of (almost) four, I have really had an eye opening experience in the joys of the feminist undoing in my own life. Be blessed and keep up the inspiration!