Quick Query: "You've Got a Friend"?

Today, I just have one question for you, with some "help-ya-think" follow-up questions:
How close is your closest friendship with another woman?

- Is she someone you see regularly or infrequently?

- Have you ever fought with her?
- Do you agree on most things or are there some "big-ticket" items you disagree about?
- Is she your age? Younger? Older?
- Does you both value your friendship to the same degree?

Please share about the closeness of your friendship, how "real" you are able to be, and how long you've been friends. Any other details you want to include are welcome! This is an opportunity for you to celebrate a treasured friendship in your life.


Bobbie said...

Hi Jess
Over the years, I have had some girlfriends, but usually only one close friend at a time. Not sure why, but it's always worked out that way.I'm extremely shy and very quiet. Always my closest girlfriend, is very outgoing and talkative, which brings me out of my shell. And then I become more like her.

I'm in a close friendship now with a women in my church, she is one year older than me. We met in Sunday School, aka, Fellowship group. We have known each other for about eight years, but have only been close in the last five years. I watched her battle breast cancer, about three years ago. That was so hard. She did chemo and radiation.

We have not fought yet. Hope we never do.

We agree on most things. I don't agree with her decision, to not have anymore mammograms, because of things she has heard from another friend about RISKS. I haven't told her yet, but I will soon. Early detection saved her life once, it can do so again.

I probably value her friendship more, since it's very hard for me to find a CLOSE friendship.

I can be very real with her, and also confided in her, some very deep hurts in my past. I truly love my friendship with her. We see each other at church on Sundays, and on Tues. evenings we are in a Bible study, together with our husbands. I see her all the time. And she is keeping our dog in her backyard, while we are waiting on God for a home.


EmmyJMommy said...

Wow, Jess...great query! I have always had someone that I have been close to at different time in my life...when I was in high school it was one or two girls in the band (band geek!)--when I was in college it was my roommate (until I lived with my brother)...After I got married and moved to a new town, it was different. I never found that close female friend to confide in...I had my sister-in-law, but it is a different relationship with her than I have with a friend. Now that I am in Alabama, I have several close friends, but one that has mentored and guided me more than any other, one that I treasure as if she was my own sister (she is my sister in Christ)

- Is she someone you see regularly or infrequently? I see her very frequently...usually 3 or 4 times a week...sometimes more, sometimes less...
- Have you ever fought with her? Never really fought...not agreed on certain things
- Do you agree on most things or are there some "big-ticket" items you disagree about? We tend to agree on most things, but like I said before...we don't agree on some things
- Is she your age? Younger? Older?
She is my age...kind of...a few years older than I am.
- Does you both value your friendship to the same degree? I think so...


Ann said...

I found your site several weeks ago by hitting "random" on the CWO ring. Lots to read and learn from you!

I recently moved to Nebraska and have been without a close girlfriend(s) for over a year now. It is definitely a desert experience and I am hoping on the other side of it I will have gleaned much wisdom. For now I just talk to myself. Or my chocolate lab, Kona.

My most recent close friendship was somewhat interesting. On the surface we are very different, she is very feminine and I am not so much. She is into shopping as a recreational sport, speed gardening, scrapbooking every jot and tittle of each of her four girls and is kind obsessive about decorating her home. I shop based on neccesity, enjoy gourmet cooking and my photos are still in boxes and will probably remain there for many years. I enjoy my home, but don't rearrange the furniture or paint my diningroom more than once a year or so. But...when the conversation turns towards deeper spiritual things...we can talk, share, exhort and encourage for hours.

We haven't fought but have had the confidence to confront each other when our feeling have been hurt or when one of us needs to be held accountable.

Our friendship right now is in an awkward place, however. One thing that has plagued our relationship is that she is a "bigger" personality than me and sometimes I have felt overshadowed or even subtly manipulated by her. So, the friendship is fading, really and I am waiting for God to bless me with a new Sisterchick.

dcrmom said...

My closest friend and I have been through a lot. She knows more of my dirty laundry than anyone in the world. I see her regularly, at least once a week. We talk almost daily. We've known eachother for about six years, now.

She is the only friend I've ever fought with, but she tends to be very controlling, and she's also a very sensitive soul. So there have been times when we have words or need some time apart to cool off.

We agree on most of the big things. She's my age, well, a couple years older.

And I'd say that we value our friendship to the same degree. We've been through so much, and even though there are times we don't see eye to eye, and we even hurt one another, we always manage to work it out and become better friends for it.

*~Tamara~* said...

I would consider my sisters my "best" friends...they are the ones who truly "get" me. Yes, we've fought. More "disagreements" as adults than fights. We agree on most things but there are some issues where we differ greatly. Most are inconsequential.
We've never shouted at each other, at least. My sisters are 5, 12, and 17 years older than I. I know they value our relationship as much as I do. They are people I would be friends with even if we weren't sisters.

My "real" best friend and I have known each other since 9th grade. She is a missionary now and I have not seen her in person for 10 years. I love her immensely and look forward to spending time with her in Heaven.

I've never had a lot of female friends. I've been most comfortable having a friend or two who was especially dear, than having a group. Moving from the midwest was very hard for me, and I don't feel that I have established relationships as close as the ones I had there. I struggle with that but it's hard when you're an adult with lots of responsibilities!

Tracy said...

First, I'd like to make it very clear that my husband is my best friend. But, obviously he isn't a woman. So...I would have to say at this point in my life my closest female friend is my daughter. She is only 14, but I see her growing into a young woman right before my eyes.
- Have you ever fought with her? YES!
- Do you agree on most things or are there some "big-ticket" items you disagree about? We used to disagree on a lot. As a matter of fact, there have been many years when I wondered if we would ever be close. We still disagree n some things, but not many.
- Is she your age? Younger? Older? Obviously she is younger than me.
- Does you both value your friendship to the same degree? I believe that so.

I'm not sure why, but I have found it extremely difficult to make really good friends. I do have a strong personality, but I am not argumentative. I do believe in telling the truth if asked my opinion. I am very organized, and my children are well behaved. I am not bragging, just relating what others have said to me. I believe that I intimidate many people, because they think that I think less of them if they are not like me. This is NOT true, though. As a matter of fact, I found a woman at church was talking about me to others. I did confront her lovingly about it. I asked her to speak to me if she had a problem. She finally did admit to me that she felt that she did not measure up to my standards. Yes, we are different, but I told her several things that I admire about her, and that I didn't judge her by the cleanliness of her house, etc. We get along fine now.
I am the only girl out of four children. I have no problem talking to men, but I am NOT a tomboy, or a flirt. I think that women's relationships are difficult.