Growing up in America in the 1980's and 90's, there was no huge "issue" of our generation- we didn't have a WWII that our brothers and classmates had to rush off to fight, we had nothing to protest, nothing to truly be upset about. Yet each teenager feels the pull of angst. The pull to gripe and bemoan, feeling a comraderie of "us" against "them". As a young woman growing up in this time, particularly as one that was labeled 'gifted and talented', the "them" was always men. ~ Even if you're the best, "they" will get the position. ~ You have to one-up "them" to prove girls can do whatever boys can. ~ I didn't realize it at the time, but feminist thought was central, and ingrained, in my view of the world.
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When I say feminist thought, there are so many different ideas about what this means, but I mean something along these lines:- Men are always going to have the advantages, so we girls must do all we can to grab power and position... without these, your accomplishments mean nothing.
- Education is paramount, especially as a woman. Seek it at all costs, even if it costs your own happiness.
- If you find yourself wanting a family & home, suppress that desire, because a truly strong , independent, 90's woman would not seek that out.
- Even if you do one day get married, get a job and never rely fully on a husband. ("50% of all marriages end in divorce, you know.")
- And even if you do have children one day, two is the right number. That way, you can go back to work once the "little heathen" (insert whatever derogatory term you like here--brats, etc.) get off your hands and into school.
- Who cares about ladylikeness? Push, pull, fight your way to the top- (and while they didn't actually say this) be manlike in your approach.
- Freedom in the sexual arena is not limited to immoral men, or even to men at all. Explore, enjoy, and most of all:
-AVOID FEELING at all costs! Emotion makes you weak and vulnerable. Women are NOT, I repeat, NOT weak and emotional.
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'Ladylikeness' wasn't even a term I grew up thinking about. As a classic southern tomboy, I didn't care two straws about knitting, baking, choosing fabrics, or sewing. Because of the infiltration and inundation of feminist thought in my own brain, I thought these things to be mindless, unchallenging and unnecessary relics of an out-of-date and female-demeaning world circa 1940. (This idea is expounded by modern-day feminists such as Linda Hirschman - see this article.)
For now I'm going to explore and challenge some of these feminist ideas via this blog. Even as a Christian, I never heard an informed, well-developed explanation or defense of the old-fashioned and biblical notions that (1) women are the weaker vessel, (2) women are to always operate under biblical authority, and (3) children are a blessing.
- Women are the weaker vessel. This actually is pretty indisputable, when you're not trying to be politically correct. Except for the occasional WWF female wrestler, women are physically weaker than men. (If you doubt this, check out who's doing the bulk of the lifting work on typical moving day.) Women are also emotionally weaker than men. Now, I know, I'm making a generalization and there are always- always- exceptions. But generally, who's crying at romantic movies? Who's wanting to watch those romantic movies? We are more emotional. And you may be one of the exceptions. But the proof is in the pudding, and I'm betting that 90% of dads out there who have had both a son and a daughter would testify to the emotionality of females vs. males. But let's not get emotional about it.
- Women are to always operate under biblical authority. Always under God. In human terms, first under your dad, then under other human authorities that God puts in your life. And God's design for the family is that once married, we women are to operate under the protective umbrella of a husband. Not popular, but true. And it's designed this way for good reason. As the weaker vessel, we need protection. We need protection from others, and others need to be protected from us. My husband acts as a sounding board for so many of my (emotional) ventings. When they're sound and reasonable, I know I can bring them up with others and not be off-target or overly sensitive. When they're not reasonable or I'm not wanting to deal with it biblically, my husband can put the brakes on and let me know to put a lid on it for a while, cool off, and go about it differently. (True, I do the same for him, but this is not near as likely to happen from him--see #1 about emotions in men vs. women.)
- Children are a blessing. Don't think I'm going to "go off" about the Roe v. Wade issue, because that was really only a roadsign giving indication as to where the road was already headed. Yes, abortion just made it even more evident that we, as a culture, didn't value each child. But hadn't birth control already done that? I mean, really, if we're going to get down to bear bones about it, are children a blessing or aren't they? Our society already had determined they wanted to limit family size and stand in the role that God alone used to fill, so Roe v. Wade was just a question of methodology, not of ideology. (We had already decided as a culture that children were not, in fact, a blessing afterall. ) They are to be regarded as an illness- to be done away with by a medicine, or hey- yeah- why not a procedure? And I'm already way out in offensive territory, even (and maybe especially) for the Christian, so I'll continue.
Children are an unqualified blessing, according to the Bible. We don't seek to avoid the blessing of wealth- or prevent against the blessing of good health. On the contrary, we invite these!!! Just read Psalm 127:3-128:4 and tell me what you walk away with-- here's what I read:
- children are a gift.
- fruit of the womb (a child) is a reward.
- children are like arrows, parents the warriors (this indicates that we are in a battle).
- a quiver-full (certainly this is quite a few) is a sign of blessing.
- a wife is to be a fruitful vine. (when thinking of a vine of grapes, how would you define fruitful?)
- children are like plants around a table (the word"around" implies quite a few as well).
{Sidenote: God opens and closes the womb. In this fallen world, there is miscarriage, there is infertility, there is divorce, there are difficult family situations, etc. I don't want to be insensitive to any of these, but my aim here is to discuss the design of children, women, family, etc. I hope not to offend anyone, but just raise questions, cause consideration, and consider these things more fully myself. }
Well, so there you have it. We have a culture that de-values marriage, de-values children, de-values the traditional family unit, and then we have the audacity to bemoan the decline of society. The way to counteract it is to be the revolutionary. To be the changing force. For my part, I am just trying to change the natural way my brain works-- to remove the feminist thought that has infiltrated my brain leaving me to always see things from that perspective. I've gotta get more Bible in, and the other OUT.
I have so much more to say about all of this... but it will have to wait for another day. I've gotta go make some dinner. :)
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