tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post8205908792901705916..comments2023-12-17T06:06:12.732-06:00Comments on Making Home: Chronicling Babywise- Week 1Jess Connellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-49314472705229468282014-01-25T07:47:04.705-06:002014-01-25T07:47:04.705-06:00Kristen,
In the first week or two, they are often...Kristen, <br />In the first week or two, they are often barely awake 15 minutes (and sometimes that can be a struggle) before they go back to sleep.<br /><br />Once you get to about a month, they should be doing 15-30 more easily.<br /><br />It's a gradual thing, and you will learn to watch for sleepiness and not exceed baby's window. You'll start to see (especially if you accidentally keep baby awake too long) that they get really fussy when overstimulated. Sleep will probably come before people thing baby "should" be tired… but in reality, newborns sleep almost constantly. In the early weeks, I find that keeping them awake for at least 15 minutes is the greater challenge. <br /><br />Their wake time will gradually extend (and sometimes they'll have one long one somewhere in the day but all the rest will stay tight), so watch for wakefulness and overstimulation and you'll find that "sweet spot" window.<br /><br />Hope this helps.<br />~JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-80741316606946877572014-01-23T11:12:46.405-06:002014-01-23T11:12:46.405-06:00I'm reading the book now, but I'm a little...I'm reading the book now, but I'm a little confused on "wake times" in the early weeks. How long do you keep them awake for before you let them go back to sleep? <br /><br />Thanks, Kristin Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-54327191556294059922013-09-23T23:09:55.844-05:002013-09-23T23:09:55.844-05:00Michala,
Keep at it, gently, over time. It doesn&#...Michala,<br />Keep at it, gently, over time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Enjoy snuggling your baby for now, and don't feel guilty about giving up at 4am. WE ALL GIVE UP AT 4AM!! :)<br /><br />Then wake up the next day and try, try again. As your milk supply gets established and you guys get the supply/demand thing worked out over the next couple weeks, things will even out. Hang in there and just love on your baby. Try swaddling, and putting her down, but if she'll only sleep on you or near you for now, that's A-OK. This is not a hard-and-fast regiment, but a routine that you are working toward. <br /><br />Give your baby and yourself grace and enjoy these rare and special early days.<br /><br />Blessings to you both. (Sorry it took me a bit to reply- I intended to do so right away as I know those early days can seem like an eternity happens in 24 hours.)<br />~JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-60885417433376494242013-09-22T10:19:28.289-05:002013-09-22T10:19:28.289-05:00Thank you for the post! My baby girl is 3 days ol...Thank you for the post! My baby girl is 3 days old and we want to try the ideas behind Babywise. My two year old still has a tough time sleeping through the night so we want to be more intentional with feedings/routine this go around. The problem I'm already running into is she will not sleep in the bassinet or rock n play at night,only next to me. I don't want to Co sleep but by four am I give up. Any ideas?? Thank you! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-23775748435433197912013-04-22T07:43:54.237-05:002013-04-22T07:43:54.237-05:00Thank you for this post! I read Babywise cover to ...Thank you for this post! I read Babywise cover to cover with my first daughter. I used it as I saw fit and it worked well for us. Our second daughter is 6 days old and I needed a refresher without wanting to read the whole book again. Your post had filled that need! Your reminder to have wake time even at a few days old was really helpful and we have had successful nights the last two in a row! Thank you! -Danee' Danee'https://www.blogger.com/profile/08736597109652188091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-90456323394427488672011-04-07T14:45:49.733-05:002011-04-07T14:45:49.733-05:00Julia,
When they're newborns (as in, a few wee...Julia,<br />When they're newborns (as in, a few weeks old), I don't worry about it. Sometimes one of us wants to hold them while they fall asleep. Sometimes they fall asleep accidentally in the carseat or bouncy seat. Sometimes I lay them down swaddled when they're awake, or sometimes when they're at that mid-point between sleep and awake. <br /><br />By about 3-6 weeks, I really start focusing on laying them down while awake (at least a vast majority of the time). Once you do this for a few days to a week, it will kick in and become second nature to them. In that time, I might have to reset because of crying a few times. I do allow a little grunting or fussing, but if it's an out-and-out cry, I pick them up, snuggle for anywhere from 10 seconds to a few minutes to settle them back down, and try again. I'm not one for letting them cry, ever, either. A little fussing or grousing, I can do... but out-and-out crying, from a newborn, I always always respond to.<br /><br />Hope this helps. Sorry it took me awhile to reply.<br />~JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-44288238420677685902011-03-23T21:30:13.053-05:002011-03-23T21:30:13.053-05:00Thank you so much for writing out your experience!...Thank you so much for writing out your experience! We are on day 4 with our third son. We've pretty much followed babywise with the others, but I'm always surprised how much I forget. One question I had was regarding getting them to sleep, rather than the feeding. Do you rock them, walk them, etc. to get them to sleep when they're newborns or do you just lay yours down (swaddled?) when they're awake? I don't want to create sleep "props" but I also have a hard time listening to him fuss to go to sleep. Thanks!<br /><br />Julia K.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-44179180779220232392010-12-29T20:03:44.613-06:002010-12-29T20:03:44.613-06:00Jess,
As an avid reader of your blog, I was deligh...Jess,<br />As an avid reader of your blog, I was delighted when you wrote this series this summer. I'm due in 3 weeks w/ my 2nd daughter. I'm re-reading your posts to refresh my memory. I appreciate your balanced approach. You remind me a lot of our first Babywise experience. I'm hoping by God's grace to have a similar enjoyable time with our new little girl. Thanks for taking the time to write this out!<br />Blessings, AnnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-35234012458683695322010-07-26T22:58:11.594-05:002010-07-26T22:58:11.594-05:00Never read Babywise, didn't even hear of it ti...Never read Babywise, didn't even hear of it till now. I was fortunate with my children, the first slept mostly through the night from the beginning (until I messed him up by taking him to Australia) however, I was nursing plenty during the day,from your writings, I understand that was what I was supposed to do. My third child a girl was so interested in her brothers that she was awake all day long too. Very short naps. My second child was fine EXCEPT for putting him down at night when he would have a really high pitched scream, which was really annoying. We had to stay with the in-laws for about a month and they weren't concerned at all - "all their children sang themselves to sleep at night"! I relaxed after that and he went to sleep much much better. I've since learned that babies who have had a difficult birth have an annoying high pitched scream - He was breech and I had so MANY examinations that his poor bottom was all black and blue. My daughter was breech too, but we knew it with her and there were not the exams. and she was not black and blue.Karen Pruneaunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-85517221635739266092010-07-26T12:44:13.913-05:002010-07-26T12:44:13.913-05:00Jess,
Thanks for your detailed response. It has b...Jess, <br />Thanks for your detailed response. It has been a while since I read babywise so I had forgotten about some of their guidelines. I have realized I just need to read it over as well as new books on these other approaches and then just find a middle way that works for us.<br />-addieTent Revivalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17823504395434019043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-67749963176736057232010-07-26T11:04:57.773-05:002010-07-26T11:04:57.773-05:00He's adorable!!! I'm glad it is going so ...He's adorable!!! I'm glad it is going so well so far! Your thoughts on babywise are very balanced. <br /><br />I read the book in full at least 3-4 times when my son was almost here or just after he was born, taking copious notes! I credit it with getting breastfeeding established *very* well--those full feeds meant my milk came in well, he gained weight, and so on. I also concentrated hard on keeping nighttime eating low-key, no-lights, etc. and feeding frequently during the day. He didn't sleep through the night early at all, but he was doing pretty well! The whole cycle worked well for a few weeks, but then the colic kicked in. <br /><br />All bets were off, and I definitely had to revise my philosophy. (One part of the book mentioned if the baby doesn't stop crying, put them in the crib, where at least they might fall asleep. That didn't work with his temperament.) we later discovered he's allergic to casein, which he was getting via me, of course. Babywise mentioned something about colic being a rare issue, so I really didn't even think my son could have it, but he sure did--and I've known many babies who have suffered through it (or had allergy issues that were manifesting as 'colic' or 'fussiness'.) My parenting style changed dramatically (and it had to, if I was going to work with my baby and follow my God-given instincts on how to soothe him) those first few months as a result of these lessons learned. <br /><br />He didn't sleep through the night completely until after he was 2 years old, but his wakings were not disruptive--he just sort of roused, looked around to be sure we were there (we continued to keep him in our room, which worked out well for us--I slept like a log with him nearby), and back to sleep he went. Sometimes he'd nurse--he stopped nursing right around 2 as well. <br /><br />So I agree w/ annie, above, who mentioned temperament. Many women are savvy enough, as you are!, to discern babies' needs. Some women are not. I think the effectiveness of the 'program' also highly dependent on the baby's personality, temperament, colic-issues, and other health needs (like the inability to deal w/ dairy that my son has). Babywise seems to me to work beautifully for the babies who don't have many or any of those issues! I have a few friends who have enjoyed success w/ 'sleeping through the night' with at least one baby via Babywise, and there are others who could never have used the approach because of the baby's needs.Pollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09403233175071026416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-1238820159709695012010-07-25T06:11:13.256-05:002010-07-25T06:11:13.256-05:00Hi Vanessa-
I wanted to write again and let you kn...Hi Vanessa-<br />I wanted to write again and let you know that I happened to look on the back of my bottle of gas drops (I buy the generic ones from Target cause they're so much cheaper than the brand name!), and it says, "do not exceed 12 doses per day". That's a lot of potential doses... and their recommended dose for babies 2 & under is that .3 mL amount-- so that would be 3.6 mL maximum per day. <br /><br />Again, I suggest you ask your physician, but that is quite a different amount from the 1.5 mL per day, and if accurate, may allow you some freedom in your use of gas drops with your son.Jess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-81722166643310276602010-07-24T23:37:15.793-05:002010-07-24T23:37:15.793-05:00So-called ecological breastfeeding worked well for...So-called ecological breastfeeding worked well for my family. I never minded my babies "using me for a pacifier" and found I slept better once I stopped trying to get baby to sleep in a crib and embraced co-sleeping. Regular night nursing also delayed the return of my fertility, which helped with the child spacing we were hoping for. But I recognize that approach isn't for everyone.<br /><br />I agree with the above commenters who noted that high-need babies are unlikely to thrive with the Ezzo approach. But if Jess finds it has worked for her babies so far, good for her.<br /><br />I do find it remarkable that Babywise is promoted as the ultimate Christian parenting style when that method of relating to your baby would have been foreign to mothers in Biblical times and for many centuries afterwards. It would not have been possible for early Christian mothers to avoid co-sleeping, because until relatively recently in our history, infants left to sleep alone would have been vulnerable to predators and hypothermia. <br /><br />I'm not saying everyone has to co-sleep or nurse on demand, but it should be understood that the Ezzo approach to feeding and sleep-training is not at all traditional. It is new and closely linked to modern western culture (which puts a premium on babies learning to sleep independently for long stretches, separately from their mothers).<br /><br />Laurie BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-27075380131556978492010-07-24T16:39:44.339-05:002010-07-24T16:39:44.339-05:00Congratulations! He is gorgeous! Thank you for sha...Congratulations! He is gorgeous! Thank you for sharing your experience...I'm 32 weeks pregnant and excited to meet by little one and I'm loving following your diary!<br />Here in the UK there is "The Contented Baby" by Gina Ford which sounds really similar to the Ezzo book! Again its controversial but its been so helpful with our 3 children!<br />Thanks again AnnaAnnanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-24107557322751896692010-07-23T23:19:32.911-05:002010-07-23T23:19:32.911-05:00Thanks for this! I am six months pregnant with #4 ...Thanks for this! I am six months pregnant with #4 and this was a good reminder that I need to pull out Babywise again SOON rather than relying on my memory. :) Your little Moses is so sweet!!<br /><br />AlisonAlisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01962041520652442447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-21348515725972563332010-07-23T16:02:32.781-05:002010-07-23T16:02:32.781-05:00Thanks so much for answering Jess! :) Congrats on...Thanks so much for answering Jess! :) Congrats on baby Moses. He's pretty delicious.<br /><br />-VanessaVanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09903563641850273546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-8016935239328397342010-07-23T13:15:47.650-05:002010-07-23T13:15:47.650-05:00Hi Addie,
I had to look up "ecological breast...Hi Addie,<br />I had to look up "ecological breastfeeding" if that gives you an idea of whether or not I practice it. :) I had heard of it before and had a general idea of what it meant, but didn't know specifics.<br /><br />Based on the definition I found here:<br /><br />http://www.physiciansforlife.org/content/view/1421/43/<br /><br />I do not practice ecological breastfeeding, and it would not technically fit with using Babywise, at least not as written. <br /><br />Based on the "7 standards of ecological breastfeeding" laid out on that site:<br />(1) I do exclusively breastfeed for at least the first 6 months. This does fit with Babywise.<br />(2) I do not pacify the baby at the breast. This does not fit with Babywise.<br />(3) I don't use bottles, but I do use pacifiers. With Babywise, it wouldn't matter either way what you did on this point.<br />(4) I do not sleep with my babies, generally speaking. Occasionally, after nursing in a middle-of-the-night feeding, I've woken up 2-3 hours later with them still next to me and realized that I fell asleep during the previous feeding. But I don't think that's the same thing. :) Babywise advises against co-sleeping.<br />(5) I have occasionally taken a nap with my babies beside me, but not made it a practice. I think Babywise would be fine with this.<br />(6) Obviously this one is not what I practice, except for the first few weeks when physiologically necessary and when I'm working to establish milk supply. I do nurse frequently and fully throughout the day, but seek to end night feedings ASAP. This point also does not fit with Babywise, as one of the main points of Babywise is to achieve early, contented nighttime sleep. <br />(7) I do avoid any practice that would restrict nursing or separate me from my babies. For the first year, I stay close... (I actually have never even pumped, except for the first week of our first son's life when he was in the NICU)... and when we've had dates or the like, I take the baby with us or we keep it within the time frame of the normal nursing periods. I don't think Babywise would be either for or against this point, although togetherness is certainly beneficial and mother-care is recommended by Babywise. <br /><br />Babywise does have a section for "starting late"... I wonder if you could practice ecological breastfeeding during the time that you feel convicted to do so, and then get into a routine by following the "getting started late" section in BW once you're ready for that transition? Perhaps that could be a sufficient compromise that would suit your convictions?<br /><br />Blessings,<br />JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-66645274114776284872010-07-23T11:42:08.170-05:002010-07-23T11:42:08.170-05:00I was just wondering if you use Ecological Breastf...I was just wondering if you use Ecological Breastfeeding, and how this book would work with that. After my first we really felt convicted about using any form of birth control and stopped early on. I am fine with having babies close together and trust God to provide for us, but going only six months between has been very hard on my body. We would like to try ecological breastfeeding this time, for the natural spacing, and because it just feels right to me, but I know what a blessing it is to have some sort of routine.<br /><br />I posted a little about this on my blog and linked back to yours.<br />-Addie<br />addielore.blogspot.comTent Revivalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17823504395434019043noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-51075627795538678032010-07-23T10:56:18.864-05:002010-07-23T10:56:18.864-05:00Hi Vanessa,
I'm sorry about your infant, I hav...Hi Vanessa,<br />I'm sorry about your infant, I have close friends who've had babies with severe acid reflux, and it really is a difficult thing to manage.<br /><br />As for the gas drops, I discussed it with pediatricians on several occasions (on several continents, LOL) with my first few babies and all of them assured me that it goes through the digestive tract and not into the blood stream and they could be used freely, so I've done so. As for the 1.5 mL amount, with a newborn, that would give me 5 doses of .3 mL, which I probably never, or at least only rarely, exceed. As they get older, I find that we need them less... it's in those early months that I use them fairly often. So I don't know that I've ever exceeded the recommended amount. But like you, they work really well for our babies, and I use them as needed. <br /><br />All that to say, I'd ask your pediatrician about it. After speaking with ours, I felt much more relaxed and free about using them, but I know we all feel differently about these things, so I'd recommend asking a doctor. <br />~JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-80033244380127214772010-07-22T21:14:37.683-05:002010-07-22T21:14:37.683-05:00We are big Baby Wise fans - but with my 4 month ol...We are big Baby Wise fans - but with my 4 month old has such severe acid reflux (despite meds) that having a full feeding is almost impossible. This situation has confirmed to me how well Baby Wise works - I KNOW he is not sleeping because he can't get all his calories during the day. :( It worked amazingly for my first son.<br /><br />More importantly I have a question for you about simethicone (gas juice). You use it all throughout the day - but do you exceed the 1.5mL suggested daily amount? Or do keep to the daily amount but just use it in smaller increments throughout the day? It works SUPER well for my son, but I find I just wish I could use it more throughout the day. I worry about using too much. What do you do?<br /><br />Thanks,<br />VanessaVanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09903563641850273546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-79638947386698176342010-07-22T18:37:04.556-05:002010-07-22T18:37:04.556-05:00I recently re read it and I was struck that--with ...I recently re read it and I was struck that--with some parenting experience--the book itself seems really reasonable. I'm so glad that you've found what works for you and your family! <br /><br />I do think that the problem comes when this book--and the subsequent ones and the church related curriculum they wrote--gets used in a sort of Gnostic way in Christian communities (ie "really good" Christian parents use this and are successful; everyone else is going to end up with unsaved hedonistic brats. That is an extreme description but it has had a very divisive effect on Christian communities of all denominations). The authors of this book are a bit shady, at best, and make no claims of being medical professionals. <br /><br />For a mother with a colicky baby or a baby with a high need disposition or low milk supply, following any scheduled feeding regime could set her up for failure or attachment issues down the road. Getting the baby fed AND feeling like the expert of your baby are more important than any external thing in those early days. <br /><br />Those are the concerns I have about the way this book is used. I'm not really interested in debating, and again I'm so glad you've found what works for your family!Brigidnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-77784005528158261602010-07-22T05:46:49.965-05:002010-07-22T05:46:49.965-05:00Hi Valerie,
Thanks for the compliments on our litt...Hi Valerie,<br />Thanks for the compliments on our little boy... we are enjoying him!<br /><br />As for your daughter, congratulations to her first! As for when for you to be there and how to be a blessing to her, I think that varies from woman to woman and family to family. Some women want their moms there (as I like, and as your daughter has requested), and some desire a little bit of privacy or time to adjust before a visit. <br /><br />The ways that my mom has helped me over the years has varied-- honestly, a lot of it has probably been doing the dishes and then (with subsequent babies) helping with the other children. She also has been willing to hold the baby while I go crash and have a nap... and when I've had difficulties, particularly with our first (I had a severe case of mastitis), she would help in practical ways (making warm compresses, helping me stay on track with getting a dose of ibuprofen when needed, etc.). Another way many mothers help their daughters is by keeping things going in the kitchen, which becomes more difficult the more people there are in the family. Having a few simple meal ideas, or running for groceries, or keeping the dishes up... these are all things that I think could potentially help a new mom.<br /><br />Thank you for your kind encouragements, and I hope everything goes well with your daughter's labor and your grandchild's birth. Children truly are a blessing from the Lord-- Congratulations!<br />~JessJess Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-40469501617573825332010-07-21T17:05:03.934-05:002010-07-21T17:05:03.934-05:00Congratulations and praise God for a healthy deliv...Congratulations and praise God for a healthy delivery - mom and baby :D<br /><br />Oh, reading about your first few days makes me wish for another baby... but that's not to be.<br /><br />Our three thrived on babywise and it made for a much more rested and sane mama.<br /><br />Hurray for baby Moses!<br /><br />JulieHerding Grasshoppershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15668974245505544238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-50812753275182101342010-07-21T16:36:21.348-05:002010-07-21T16:36:21.348-05:00Thank you for answering, Jess. I know I really sho...Thank you for answering, Jess. I know I really should read it, just to get my own feel for the advice given, but since I've found a good pattern of habits with my two so far I've kind of held off on reading too much of baby-advice books. I've found, for me, I start to confuse my own instincts with advice from a book and then nothing works the way I thought it should. <br /><br />I did want to add, with the night-waking, we have tried ignoring it and letting the baby settle back to sleep on his or her own. With my daughter, that resulted in all-out screaming for two hours. Ugh. With my son, because I was so anxious to avoid the screaming, I started right away responding to him. It never took more than a few minutes before either would settle right back to sleep, so I didn't mind responding. However, once my son was about a year old (he's 15 months now), we decided to stop going right to him to see if he would scream like my daughter. He didn't! So we stopped going to him. :) It's funny, though. She was so prone to screaming at night, from an early age, but has such a sweet temperament during the day. He's the opposite! We've had to do some major strong-will training with him. :) <br /><br />Anyway, thanks!anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03993158642184311825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-80283443236160520022010-07-21T10:09:19.318-05:002010-07-21T10:09:19.318-05:00Reading this has given me a good reminder of how s...Reading this has given me a good reminder of how stressful those first few days of breastfeeding can be. I think for some reason I keep thinking since I went through all the craziness one time before that this next time it will be a breeze but getting that milk to come in seems to be a challenging time period with each babe from what I hear. <br /><br />I am okay with Babywise but it did cause me stress, like someone else said. I think it depends, like many other things in life, where your starting point is mentally, emotionally, experience-wise etc. I had practically never held a baby in my life by the time I had my first and it was crazy nerve wracking. <br /><br />Love to you and sweet baby Moses < 3Catherine R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17270456247724661532noreply@blogger.com