tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post6828884109160522280..comments2023-12-17T06:06:12.732-06:00Comments on Making Home: Motherhood & the Difficult Wisdom of Romans 14Jess Connellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-79416377406037834272011-11-14T22:48:50.833-06:002011-11-14T22:48:50.833-06:00This is the 3rd time this week I have come back to...This is the 3rd time this week I have come back to this post. Amazing. I wish I had come across it sooner...<br /><br />I can honestly say that there is not one "rule" on this list I have not broken lately, blogging and in real time. I'm thankful for the gentle reminder and encourages to move forward in peace and love.Mrs. Cheeriohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10768021885629467942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-69188327927896491802011-11-13T23:35:22.353-06:002011-11-13T23:35:22.353-06:00I want to copy and paste this to my blog directly ...I want to copy and paste this to my blog directly (I won't, but I would love to!)... it is so applicable to me and the season of life I am in as a new mother and facing certain struggles.Mrs. Cheeriohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10768021885629467942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-86742217745595838512008-06-03T22:16:00.000-05:002008-06-03T22:16:00.000-05:00Thank you for this post. It is so true... and so c...Thank you for this post. It is so true... and so convicting. <BR/><BR/>Can I have your permission to print it for our ladies ministry at church?<BR/><BR/>Thank you again,<BR/>Tasha<BR/>new4younow@hotmail.comTashahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11732899133270753605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-45291834746348526942008-06-03T15:46:00.000-05:002008-06-03T15:46:00.000-05:00Good advice and timely too. I flubbed up recently ...Good advice and timely too. I flubbed up recently on one of my blog posts and said some things in anger that I shouldn't have said. I've learned my lesson I believe. Thanks for your post!Sherri Lackeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12574448009541412249noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-64446495773156115152008-06-02T15:43:00.000-05:002008-06-02T15:43:00.000-05:00What a wonderful post, thank you so much! #11 real...What a wonderful post, thank you so much! #11 really sticks out to me because I think very often we feel that if we have a conviction about something (that does not affect our salvation) that other people need to have the same convictions and we need to do what we can to show them and convince them of the same things. How easy it is to forget that we are all in different places on our journey with Christ, and that He does not lead us all on the exact same trail of circumstances to bring us on this adventure of life. In failing to realize that we become legalistic, even mean, bitter and self-righteous. As much as we'd like to think all of life is black and white, especially as Christians, we rarely recognize the gray areas, or dismiss them. We force ourselves and try to lead, "suggest", coerce, or guilt others into either area of black or white, whatever we personally "have peace with", and can wound others deeply and cause confusion. <BR/><BR/>Instead, if we trust God with the things we have a peace with, and respect and love others, leaving them free to learn from the Holy Spirit, not from our insisting or persuasion, we can grow as a healthy body, instead of a sick and wounded one. <BR/><BR/>For Julie, the first commenter, your comment sticks with me, I think because we live in Memphis and racism is alive and well and in your face. I have actually had people come up to me on the street and say "it sure is nice to see a white baby around here". I know I'm in a pretty different boat as you, I don't think people's comments about your baby are supposed to be derogatory or insulting, but they still are! I would encouraging you to, in genuine love, challenge people when they say something like that, for instance "I'm sorry, what do you mean by that?" Some times people don't realize what they say or suggest is totally inapproriate and instead of confronting them with sharp comment, challenging them to explain their comment can help them see how off-base it is. Also, you could get used to saying something like "I can't wait to see who God grows him up to be!" Or, we also use talking directly to our daughter, but so the other person hears "you can be whoever you want to be, can't you!"<BR/><BR/>Just some thoughts. I don't think it's being argumentative to do something like that, I think, if you do it right with love for them, saddened that they couldn't find anything better to say, you could really help them.Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03745539874827748182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-60405610818937962972008-06-01T22:59:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:59:00.000-05:00I know from my own experience that all of these wa...I know from my own experience that all of these wars make me just want to run. I long for fellowship with other godly women and believers, but I see so many churches and groups get caught up in these things as well as other wars (theological, denominational) that it just exhausts me and I feel hopeless. We are in the process of searching for a church, and most of the ones that we have visited have a bandwagon with all their own lingo, encouraging everyone to live the way that they think is the way, and everything revolves around that pet issue. It's so discouraging, and it seems to be everywhere. There's no escaping it, it seems!Rebekahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225411889838800415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-24059858280394643472008-05-31T12:28:00.000-05:002008-05-31T12:28:00.000-05:00Living in a seminary community, you would think th...Living in a seminary community, you would think there would be MORE agreement than disagreement, but that is not true. My husband and I have at times been very discouraged by the 'nit-picky' things that people fight over, I'm sorry, I mean heatedly discuss. We have decided to not make a big deal over the little things. I breastfed my baby; I had an epidural in the hospital; we currently cloth diaper; and we plan to homeschool. None of these items, though, are central to the Gospel--they will not get us saved! We don't hide it, but we definitely do not crusade for these smaller issues (i.e., many of our friends do not know that we cloth diaper). Our hope is for our family to be bigger crusaders for the gospel than anything else--and we need continual improvement in that area! Thanks for pointing us to scripture.Leah Fhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11738082085913943428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-77178745678485351832008-05-30T22:34:00.000-05:002008-05-30T22:34:00.000-05:00For Britt:I have a rel/ship similar to the one you...For Britt:<BR/>I have a rel/ship similar to the one you describe; it's been difficult for seven years, when our firstborn boys were about 2yo. At the 5yo mark, I had to stop seeing my friend except when our time together could be grown-ups only. Her son just would not be respectful of me and the boundaries we set on our kids; he was/is also very disrespectful of his mother, my friend, and it made me so sad to see her "take it" and not apply correction.<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry about your situation. Get together with her after hours, if possible, when the husbands/fathers can watch the little ones and you two can chat and pray. It worked for me. My friend is still my friend, but boys aren't close. And I'm OK with that!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-36787464621957498152008-05-30T13:40:00.000-05:002008-05-30T13:40:00.000-05:00Good post--just found you blog via Amy's. I've als...Good post--just found you blog via Amy's. I've also written about the Mommy stuff http://hopewellmomschoolreborn.blogspot.com/2007/10/christian-mothers-version-of-perfect.htmlHopewellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02510172065585770709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-86569188674272256702008-05-30T13:02:00.000-05:002008-05-30T13:02:00.000-05:00I just happened across your post, and have to chim...I just happened across your post, and have to chime in as a mom of teens and college-age children. The mommy wars won't stop as your children get older! LOL For us now it's . . . <BR/><BR/>college <BR/>girls going to college <BR/>Bible college vs. secular college<BR/>adult children living at home or not<BR/>dating vs. courtship<BR/>hair styles - both boys and girls<BR/><BR/>One of the major themes of the Bible is personal accountability. Each father and mother are accountable to God, and God alone, for how they choose to raise their children and continue to guide them as they approach adulthood. Romans 14:4 is my husband's favorite verse to quote to me when I get caught up in what others are doing (or not doing, as the case may be) - "Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth . . . "<BR/><BR/>You've done an excellent post here - thank you!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08733406219995902188noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-90377869812779382122008-05-30T08:50:00.000-05:002008-05-30T08:50:00.000-05:00Good post, Jess.I received a scathing letter from ...Good post, Jess.<BR/><BR/>I received a scathing letter from a blogging woman due to misunderstanding awhile ago (even after I had apologized and explained myself...)and you know, it really did hurt. I have forgiven her, but it really stung for awhile. It affected our relationship as Christian women. I wish she could have read this post of yours.<BR/><BR/>It was a good lesson for me at the time - first to temper myself, second to not assume too much, third to work better with my communications and fourth, to extend grace more easily. We grow and we learn.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-64439281931771613092008-05-30T07:44:00.000-05:002008-05-30T07:44:00.000-05:00Thanks for a great post. Our son will be attendin...Thanks for a great post. Our son will be attending PUBLIC kindergarten in the fall, and I can't believe some of the comments we've gotten. But I can be pretty judgmental, too (I may not speak up about it, but a prideful heart is still sinful!) I'm linking!Trish Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02390639758786087010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-31715249871578545982008-05-30T05:30:00.000-05:002008-05-30T05:30:00.000-05:00What a great post! Thank you so much for this! I l...What a great post! Thank you so much for this! I love it!Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02853147086906439337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-17487800718154918352008-05-29T21:01:00.000-05:002008-05-29T21:01:00.000-05:00Great food for thought!Great food for thought!heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12440806925350092398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-91329930981192005782008-05-29T16:22:00.000-05:002008-05-29T16:22:00.000-05:00Well said. I've been thinking along the "mommy wa...Well said. I've been thinking along the "mommy wars" lines lately, and glad you wrote about it. Thanks for bringing up Scripture that doesn't "tell" us how to raise our children but instead how to treat one another. Too often, the blog postings I read cite the Bible to support that person's personal approach to childraising. Like another person said, sometimes my husband and I don't follow some of the popular "christian" methods, and I have to remind him (and myself!) to not put down another parent's style or parenting decisions; we'll all find out in the end what we did right and what we did wrong. =)alaskamommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13578563903604968668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-92017372847079668642008-05-29T15:01:00.000-05:002008-05-29T15:01:00.000-05:00Anna Grace, thanks for your input, too. (I hope th...Anna Grace, <BR/>thanks for your input, too. (I hope this isn't too far off topic, but it might be a little.) My husband and I have had some very similar disagreements, and while I've struggled with it at times, I've tried to be respectful to him about these areas. (Although, I admit, I would NOT nurse in the bathroom, unless it had a separate waiting area or something similar. I would go out to the car or something.) Anyway . . . our oldest is almost 4 and youngest is almost 2 (no more, yet), and I've found that in a lot of these areas of disagreement, when I've been patient and prayed and been respectful, my husband has actually changed his mind or been more open to hearing mine. And once he makes up his mind, it is hard to change it!!! That's not to say I'm always right or you should always have the intention of trying to change your husband, but as I was "fully convinced" about some of these things, and have tried to approach the situation biblically, I believe God and my husband have honored that.<BR/>MichelleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-80805272635218583862008-05-29T07:27:00.000-05:002008-05-29T07:27:00.000-05:00I linked on my blog to this post today. It is so g...I linked on my blog to this post today. It is so great, I just had to share it. <BR/>Thanks!<BR/>Kimberly :)<BR/>(You don't have to publish this comment. I just wanted you to know how very much I appreciated this post! Blessings!)Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07534550649815409116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-63317796597025026572008-05-28T21:16:00.000-05:002008-05-28T21:16:00.000-05:00Terrific!I don't know if you know much about MOPS ...Terrific!<BR/>I don't know if you know much about MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), but I am going to be preparing ladies this summer to lead tables of women during the year. You have given me some excellent verses and thoughts to pray about! Discussion time at tables can get a bit sticky when we come to the hot topics you mentioned, and we need to know how God wants us to handle such situations! Thanks for this great info!<BR/>Kimberly :)Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07534550649815409116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-43844503971136226162008-05-28T17:17:00.000-05:002008-05-28T17:17:00.000-05:00perfect!!! Romans 14. I'm gonna go get it and re...perfect!!! Romans 14. I'm gonna go get it and read it again. I've got to confess I've been on both sides of the "mommy wars." I've preached a certain perspective when I wasn't fully convinced myself and I've poured out advice when I had never walked in that person's shoes and i've also been on the receiving end of criticism and "concern" about my choices as a mom. <BR/><BR/>I think what struck me the most about this section of scripture applied to what I say and do and vice versa with other moms is the part about being fully convinced. We shouldn't live to please others. We shouldn't throw out our convictions because others disagree. But we should KNOW what we believe and why we do what we do and then be gracious no matter what others choose to do.<BR/><BR/>thanks for sharing this. i'm off to get my Bible!<BR/>sheilaSheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06781114872547579867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-23192886776835562052008-05-28T13:04:00.000-05:002008-05-28T13:04:00.000-05:00Jess, may i share a sermons recently (timely) prea...Jess, may i share a sermons recently (timely) preached this past Lord's Day on Romans 14. It can be accessed here: <A HREF="http://marketdayforthesoul.org/2008/05/25/godly-decisions-and-romans-14/" REL="nofollow"> Godly Decisions and Romans 14</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-8876510145880446902008-05-28T12:35:00.000-05:002008-05-28T12:35:00.000-05:00Jess, thanks (again) for another thought provoker....Jess, thanks (again) for another thought provoker. I am a first-time expecting mom and have felt overwhelmed with people's opinions whether face-to-face, or in books I read. It seems that everyone thinks they are right and have no problem saying so. This posses a problem when you don't feel like you know what you are doing, you want to do the right thing, and you are receiving differing "right" ways to do the task. This has caused me to re-think my judging heart and how I have possibly made others feel in the past. Romans 14 captures it well. What we do is between us and God and we are responsible to Him and to follow His leading. I am focusing on that more each day. I pray that other parts of this chapter convict me as I become a mom with all the "right" ways of doing things ;)Brandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12387232166525388495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-30640277008302677192008-05-28T06:19:00.000-05:002008-05-28T06:19:00.000-05:00I have really enjoyed this post!!One big topic lat...I have really enjoyed this post!!<BR/><BR/>One big topic lately for us has been discipline: one of my friends does not spank her children and they literally run around out of control, bully our kids, & even spit on their mom! We spank ours (when we think they need it...yes, spitting would be one of those times). In our opinion, there's nothing wrong with a good healthy spanking (I think Dobson said that...). But we also love our children- give hugs, play together, read, etc. My friend was SHOCKED when she found out how we discipline and I couldn't help but think (in a roll my eyes kind of tone), "well that's why your kids are the way they are." Her lack of discipline has really made it difficult for us to spend time together...I don't want my girls being physically attacked or rocks thrown at my car (just to give another example). But I enjoy HER as a friend, without her kids around. How do I say, "Sorry I'd love to have you over for coffee, but leave your children at home because you don't hold them accountable for their vicious behavior." ???????Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-48532965742373066942008-05-27T15:55:00.000-05:002008-05-27T15:55:00.000-05:00so, so true!! i've always shied away from mention...so, so true!! i've always shied away from mentioning ANYthing about my personal parenting style, simply because a lot of it doesn't follow "popular" christian mentalities. (however, i do pray quite a bit over it, lest that sound like I'm not doing any christian parenting!)<BR/><BR/>i guess i am hoping (trying!) to show my opinions more by example. mainly because I mess things up so royally when I speak - too many mininterpretations. <BR/><BR/>then, if someone comments on my child's behavior, that opens the door a little more to discuss the path I chose in order to get there!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439951910924587708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-42273681890859548482008-05-27T15:06:00.000-05:002008-05-27T15:06:00.000-05:00Don't forget Halloween either :P Nothing brings o...Don't forget Halloween either :P Nothing brings out the claws in my Christian moms forum faster than Halloween. <BR/><BR/>This is a great post. I think I'll come back to it tonight in my quiet time and reread it with Bible in hand. :)Shayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16542031255601902423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-91473750076410383652008-05-27T12:33:00.000-05:002008-05-27T12:33:00.000-05:00Jess,You forgot: To vaccinate or notHome birth vs....Jess,<BR/><BR/>You forgot:<BR/> <BR/>To vaccinate or not<BR/><BR/>Home birth vs. hospital<BR/><BR/>No pain medication vs. an epidural<BR/><BR/>Cloth diapers vs. disposable<BR/><BR/>These have all garnered me some level of disagreement or comment that I'm "doing it wrong." <BR/><BR/>JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com