tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post6212797688958987322..comments2024-03-29T01:05:17.952-05:00Comments on Making Home: Thoughts on ShelteringJess Connellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-29323009535264576162008-09-06T18:43:00.000-05:002008-09-06T18:43:00.000-05:00I'm not yet a parent...but I have a few things to ...I'm not yet a parent...but I have a few things to say.<BR/><BR/>I was raised in private school from K-12, then all during college. And I say "THANK GOD!". Seriously.<BR/><BR/>I now teach private voice lessons full time in a public school. Just being there everyday...talking to the kids, and seeing what goes on...I will NEVER put my kids in public school.<BR/><BR/>To me, it's not only about sheltering vs. letting them get out in the world. It's very much about education. I cannot stand the cacophony that is the public school system. I think my children would get a much better education from me...and I'm NOT one of those dress wearing, boring, opinionated home school mom types. I just don't like the education system. But I'm not chomping at the bit to fit into some home school category either. So we'll see. I need to figure it out before I have children, I guess.Thespiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224950748112985468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-57852353068607352232008-06-29T21:18:00.000-05:002008-06-29T21:18:00.000-05:00This is such a thought provoking post! I'm also en...This is such a thought provoking post! I'm also enjoying reading all the comments.<BR/><BR/>I guess we're sort of in the "middle". We home schooled and then public schooled. We DO let them participate in youth group, but only certain activities and mission opportunities. I am more one to shelter the children and my husband is more one to let them participate in the "real world". We balance each other nicely. :)<BR/><BR/>My oldest 2 sons are grown and currently serving in the U.S. military. Both are walking out their faith as young men of God. That is/was our ultimate goal as parents. :)50s Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00517530725609329801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-17426414064662886962008-06-23T13:15:00.000-05:002008-06-23T13:15:00.000-05:00hi jess, CP gave me your blog address, and i have ...hi jess, CP gave me your blog address, and i have really enjoyed reading it! you are obviously very well-read and a thinker! i really enjoy getting some good, stimulating reading between wiping bootys, moving the laundry through, etc! i am a fellow OBUer and am interested in many/all of the topics you cover here! i love it! thanks for this entry, specifically. as my oldest boy gets closer to school age, i have been pondering homeschool and its implications often.Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16863968170470218136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-30517822434030022212008-06-21T07:08:00.000-05:002008-06-21T07:08:00.000-05:00This is an excellent post, and it makes me wish th...This is an excellent post, and it makes me wish that all parents, whatever their faith or schooling beliefs, put as much thought into how to raise their children as you have.<BR/><BR/>My husband and I are strong believers in public schools for various reasons, but it is important to be conscious of the downsides of every type of schooling.<BR/><BR/>One thing I have come to appreciate as a parent is how much we learn from our children, as well as how much we need to teach them. <BR/><BR/>Your reflections on your own teenage rebellion indicate to me that your parents learned the right lesson from you, which is that the church your family belonged to was not giving you the support and guidance you needed.<BR/><BR/>One can easily imagine your parents reacting to their rebellious daughter in a different way, which might have pushed you much further from Christianity and for a longer time.<BR/><BR/>Laurie BAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-90216449323813080792008-06-20T21:40:00.000-05:002008-06-20T21:40:00.000-05:00Hi Jess, I have really enjoyed reading your blogs...Hi Jess, <BR/> I have really enjoyed reading your blogs. I am curious about the quiver full homeschooling families whose kids rebelled. Would you describe them as the typical families you would find say at Voddie Baucham's Family Integrated Ministry or was there something more extreme about these families? Our family has been prayerfully considering leaving our mega church and going to Baucham's church. We love his teaching and the people there. I have had some people warning me to be careful of sheltering my kids by taking them to this "bubble" as they call it which doesn't represent the mainstream christian culture. Sometimes I feel so confused. I know our children need experiences with the world around us, but do I really want the negative influences coming from church? I just keep thinking that the church isn't the place for them to be exposed to what we don't want them to succumb to. I would rather allow them to see enough through our family reaching out and serving a hurting community than for them to get an education in worldliness, rebellion, etc. through the church. So, I am just asking do you think Voddie Baucham's views and church are balanced or is this just the kind of ministry you said you saw a lot of kids rebel in? Thanks so much. Your blogs have been a real encouragement to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-83117882755043575742008-06-20T19:01:00.000-05:002008-06-20T19:01:00.000-05:00Jess,We homeschool (ages 6, 4, 1.5 and expecting.....Jess,<BR/>We homeschool (ages 6, 4, 1.5 and expecting...TWINS). We are in Christian community with many homeschoolers and strong Christians who attend the solid Chrisitian school with devoted parents. I have a number of the teenage girls come over to help me. It astonishes me how silly and peer OBSESSED many of the girls are who attend the youth group. There is a contentment and glimmers of virture with many of the girls who are homeschooled. I know this sounds extreme, but I look very closely. To show my partiality, though, I do not come from a close family so perhaps I would do well to not focus on that TOO much. I think A LOT about sending our teens off on a never ending stream of social demands that the youth group gives and really, cannot imagine not being together as a family on Sundays. We love worshipping together. OH, and the youth group...wow, have I been unimpressed...it seems like it is just to entice the teenagers to come and hang out with maybe a little bit of scripture thrown in. The pastor and young woman youth leaders actually act foolish and "so crazy" in order to be cool. I just don't see how it would prepare our sons and daughters to be virtuous men and women, but I think I should be careful to not be too extreme either. <BR/><BR/>Have you heard Voddie's "Centrality of the Home" sermon..I believe I found it here at your blog. Anyhoo, I really struggle to see what is so great about all the age segregation and foolishness that youth groups perpetuate?<BR/>anonymousAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-90887092096669352302008-06-20T17:32:00.000-05:002008-06-20T17:32:00.000-05:00Thank you for your wonderful post. It has truly gi...Thank you for your wonderful post. It has truly given me much food for thought and I suspect it'll keep my mind twirling for a long while. I can't really had anything to what has been said on the pros and cons about the different schooling systems, but regardless of all that what you have written has made once again reflect on the fact that:<BR/>1 - I strongly believe that most of my mistakes somehow related to areas of my parents lives where they weren't too sure about what they believed in or areas where they or one of them struggled or did not provide a good example coming from the heart.<BR/>2 - It is normal that teenagers challenge the world around them. This includes their parents, naturally. I think that is only natural and positive (after all, we are not without sin and therefore there is potentially a lot to be challenged). I think you should just make sure that (a) they pick up this inquisitive and questioning spirit from you (it is easy to just follow the crowd even when you're a christian) and (b) that they apply it also to their peers.<BR/>3 - If our kids attend a regular school, I believe it is crucial to make their family their safe place, which is truly welcoming and strong and loving so that they do not become emotionally dependent on their peers. It seems to me that the present trend of having kids spend all day in school clearly sets them up to become vulnerable to whatever influenced they may be exposed at school or outside the family.<BR/>Just some thoughts.<BR/>Again, thank you for your post.<BR/>Catholic MariaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-43413570716271073902008-06-20T14:58:00.000-05:002008-06-20T14:58:00.000-05:00I found it interesting that one commenter thought ...I found it interesting that one commenter thought that people were avoiding church "youth" groups out of fear. Could it possibly be they are avoiding them out of WISDOM? <BR></BR> Those of us who homeschool are already aware of the benefits of avoiding educating everyone by their age group and thus only being with their own age group (something you will not find in the real world - when was the last time you shopped at the Target that was only for 20-25 year olds...). <BR/><BR></BR><BR/>I attend a "family integrated" church. You will not find a youth group there. Youth groups are a relatively new creation. Worshiping and learning as a family is not. I have seen far to many church youth groups that are simply awful. They look all nice and shiny on the outside but rarely are they what they are hoped to be or do what the parent thinks they will do for the child. <BR></BR>If a parent (or anyone else) has had what someone calls a bad "experience" in the past, are we not supposed to learn from said experience? Once upon a time, experience was referred to as wisdom. We should be very wise with our children and not just jump on the band wagon of what everyone else is doing (there is an unpopular thought line these days). I realize not all church youth groups are the same, but given the number I have seen that are fairly similar in makeup, etc., I do not blame the people who want to avoid them.<BR></BR> Be wise and learn as much as you can about situations before tossing ones children to the "wolves" - it may even entail you sitting in on several meetings and chaperoning a couple of events before allowing your child to become involved - if at all after checking the situation out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-42999530606745730542008-06-20T09:10:00.000-05:002008-06-20T09:10:00.000-05:00I am a stay-at-home mom of four, we are in our thi...I am a stay-at-home mom of four, we are in our third year of homeschooling. You hit it right on with everything you said. We do homeschool for personal reasons but it was a hard decision to make because both my husband and I knew families like the ones you described. We didn't want to be lumped in the same category or to have our kids turn out "weird" or worldly because of sheltering. It's all in how you communicate with your kids and in the activities and friends you provide for them. We are so blessed to be part of a church with a large homeschool population as well as public/private school kids. No one (so far) feels that their way is better or judges anyone else, and certainly NO ONE would keep their kids from enjoying the benefits of fellowship with other Christian kids- it's refreshing to see!Lydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528794115926285427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-48640482924883586392008-06-19T23:31:00.000-05:002008-06-19T23:31:00.000-05:00jessi just want to say that i'm glad i found your ...jess<BR/>i just want to say that i'm glad i found your site, you have a lot of good things to share. and...i'm curious, you said you're overseas, right? where are you?Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04027448176635168961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-13395888225532190102008-06-19T18:56:00.000-05:002008-06-19T18:56:00.000-05:00Thanks, I needed that.Your post exudes trust in a ...Thanks, I needed that.<BR/><BR/>Your post exudes trust in a heavenly Father Who has a plan, Who's arm is not too short, and Who can save church kids and street kids alike. Praise God it's not all up to mom!Saralynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08315084570904980269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-61480611333426644602008-06-19T15:55:00.000-05:002008-06-19T15:55:00.000-05:00another wise post, Jess :)Many good things here fr...another wise post, Jess :)<BR/><BR/>Many good things here from others also. I just wanted to add one little point - we should avoid parenting out of fear.<BR/>By all means, we need to protect our children - and that will look different in different homes, and in different cultures and parts of the world - but if we shelter out of fear, then we may not be trusting in God to be in control.<BR/>If the local church youth group is not suitable because of worldliness, materialism etc, then we should find another way for our teens to spend time with friends and grow in spiritual maturity (for of course they do need friends, and Christian friends can really spur each other on). But if we just avoid all youth groups because of our own bad experiences, I think our teens will see through that - i think they will sense our fear. <BR/><BR/>Those first 12-13 years or so are a wonderful opportunity to build values into their hearts. But there comes day when they need opportunities to demonstrate that they are starting to think for themselves. We can spend these teen years alongside of them, helping them think through decisions, and explaining choices we may make for them.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, some great thoughts from others :)<BR/><BR/>Sim in Oz (with a newly 14 yr old, plus a 12, 10, 8, 7,and 4 yr old coming behind)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-4304583230781877032008-06-19T15:22:00.000-05:002008-06-19T15:22:00.000-05:00Did anyone hear about this yet? http://www.time.co...Did anyone hear about this yet? http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.htmlKristie Rutzelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06774319110125991815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-9672186081683134832008-06-18T18:52:00.000-05:002008-06-18T18:52:00.000-05:00I thought I might add that I don't feel that the p...I thought I might add that I don't feel that the public school system reflects what the "real" or adult world is like. <BR/>My teens have never snuck out of the house, stolen anything or had sex. <BR/>(all things mys sisters publicly schooled children have done on more than one occasion.)<BR/>This is because my children are not learning from other children what to do or how to make decisions. They have learned from adults who know better. <BR/>They do interact with the other kids in there neighborhood. But they also have no problem telling these kids not to swear around them. They also defuse fights that happen . But you know what they are the most popular kids on the block.Ticiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07882878707522591831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-18560990793032352872008-06-18T14:42:00.000-05:002008-06-18T14:42:00.000-05:00I agree with much of what you said, however I'm no...I agree with much of what you said, however I'm not big on the idea that the world is the "real" environment and the home is a fake green house environment. And I think that young ones need lots of chances to see how mom and dad interact with the world before they are ready to go off on their own, even to cub scouts. This method means lots of family-in-the-world time together when they are young. Ministering to neighbors, volunteering, etc. I think it's important not to do a lot of age-segregated stuff, I just don't see the benefit there. The "real world" isn't age segregated, when you get a "real job" it usually involved interacting with a variety of ages. Not that kids shouldn't have kid-classes, but there are some who spend almost all of their social time with their age-mates. I've met lots of totally UNsheltered teens that have no idea how to talk to an adult because they rarely have to. The Sunday School my kids attend has ages 5 to 12 all together in the same class and it is WONDERFUL.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-11891943895355339182008-06-18T00:11:00.000-05:002008-06-18T00:11:00.000-05:00Hi Jess,I am addressing some of this to you and so...Hi Jess,<BR/><BR/>I am addressing some of this to you and some to the comments already posted and it has gotten rather long.<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, not everyone has the benefit of a youth group like the one in which you were involved. After the experience both my brother and I had with our church group (you do not even want to know my sister’s experience), I have no desire to have my children have anything to do with a church youth group. There was more undesirable behavior there (pre-marital s*x, drugs, you name it – it was there) than I would ever want my children exposed to – even as adults. It was supposed to be a reputable group (all the grown ups thought so anyway), but the kids there knew better. Sigh. I went to a public school and I graduated long ago – way back in 1986. I was exposed to plenty – plenty of stuff that I would never, ever want my children exposed to, that is for certain. It may have been the very best school in the state (academically, sports, music), but the people were still just the same as everywhere else. At that time, the church schools were full of the children that had been kicked out of the public schools – certainly not a good option.<BR/><BR/>You bet I want to shelter my children. That is the job of being a parent. Protect your child from the nastiness of the world until they are prepared to deal with it – and it may be they are not ready until college or later! My dear sister, I wish she would have been better protected – it was in that 6th - 8th grade area that she went down the path she was/is on. Unfortunately, our father was having grave health problems during that time period and she got involved with the very worst crowd – not the party crowd – the dark side – and she was raised in a Christian home – same upbringing as my own. We were in public school, yes, those parties looked like a blast – that was all you heard the kids talking about. I at least waited until I was out of high school before I got on the band wagon of stupidity. What could my parents have done differently? They did it according to what you said – trained us biblically, we attended youth group, Sunday school, had us out in the “mission field” seeing real, live sin….. My parents were involved in church – as young children, we were at church as often as the PK’s were. However, we all have free choice, don’t we? I did not have to decide to start going to parties after HS, but I did. <BR/><BR/>Both my husband and I have various life experiences and can also refer to family behaviors as examples as to why they would want to avoid certain behaviors. Yes, Sin LOOKS fun – and yes, it can be fun for a season. Ultimately, as with ANY sin, there is a price to pay for that season. We have both paid various prices for our past sins. We may be forgiven, but that does not mean they are without consequence (God did not say forgiveness negates consequence). I look back now and shake my head and wish I could erase a lot.<BR/><BR/>That said, we are very up on what is going on in the world. My husband and I do not hide from it. Heaven forbid anyone actually believes what they are hearing from the mainstream media – there is a whole other world of news out there and it makes the 5pm news look like a BBQ. My children (although younger 7 & 9) are well aware of the nastiness of the world. Sad, but true – we can thank family members for illustrating that for them, sigh. We train them as to what is right, what is wrong and WHY they should avoid said behaviors. <BR/><BR/>Can we not shelter and protect our children from the nastiness of the world, train them up to know better without tossing them into the pit to learn the lessons of why from “experience”? In this day and age, children are being treated more and more often as adults in the courts eyes….Not sure I want them to run the risk of “affordable mistakes” – to many are not affordable anymore, whether it be jail time, drug addiction, pre-marital s*x (with resultant std’s), etc. The whole let’s send the child to PS so “my child can be salt & light” is a horrid misnomer. Most children are not properly equipped to refute the gook that is out there. I know I was not and my parents were fairly diligent about training us at home and at church. PS was my parents only option or so they thought – they had no idea that homeschooling was in that states constitution.<BR/><BR/>I should also say that I have a good friend who was raised in a Christian home and went to PS as well – and she is still after all this time as naïve as they come about the garbage out there. I like that in her – it is a good thing and must have been very refreshing for her husband when they first met.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-7937025949231313462008-06-17T22:57:00.000-05:002008-06-17T22:57:00.000-05:00I love this post. It really provided me with some ...I love this post. It really provided me with some great inspiration as to how to find the balance in this parenting thing. I have a 3 and 1 year old and have felt many of the things other "posters" have felt. A book I've just recently read on grace has opened my eyes so much and it's truth has freed me and given me peace, that I must recommend it to your readers - I hope that's okay! It's called GraceWalk by Steve McVey.Having It Allhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05316394224052415052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-63383648283197378402008-06-17T22:26:00.000-05:002008-06-17T22:26:00.000-05:00Apparently, I do things backwards from others. My ...Apparently, I do things backwards from others. My children all went to public school until middle and high school and the oldest 2 boys now attend a private Christian school. My oldest daughter went to public school all the way through and that was a huge mistake that I will not repeat (for reasons such as: gang violence, almost complete lack of teacher assistance/caring, opposition to and countermanding our religious beliefs, sex happening in the school, etc.). One younger child is autistic so we'll have to play that by ear. <BR/><BR/>I think the best choice is to search out all the facts in the matter, know your child and, above all, seek the perfect will of God for that particular son or daughter.Mrs. McGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13595062317679462936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-36334457579269459522008-06-17T22:17:00.000-05:002008-06-17T22:17:00.000-05:00Oh, yes! I know we are only discussing and I'm en...Oh, yes! I know we are only discussing and I'm enjoying this conversation. It is something I have been thinking about.<BR/><BR/>I totally agree with you that the sin comes from within - it is part of the sinful nature. I remember asking my mom once, "Where do these kids come up with this stuff?" And she told me, "It's IN them!"<BR/><BR/>We are probably talking about the same Voddie Baucham sermon. I came away with the exact picture you just described.<BR/><BR/>When I hear the word "shelter" I think, "Of course we should!" But I think I am a bit clueless as to just how some people take it to the extreme. I have only witnessed legalism from afar through family members who deemed us unsaved and too sinful associate with, so I don't have a full picture of what extreme sheltering is like or how damaging it can be. <BR/><BR/>I think we are pretty close in our thoughts on this issue. As always, thank you for your insightful posts!Carlettahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07980716707225502492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-66155830104080064272008-06-17T22:01:00.000-05:002008-06-17T22:01:00.000-05:00great post! thanks. too many long but i'm sure int...great post! thanks. too many long but i'm sure interesting comments for me to read right now. :) bath bed and a good book are fairly important right now. <BR/>but I really agree with what you wrote. it's such a fine line..to find the balance between the shelter i believe we're called to give our kids and wrapping them in bubble wrap. we homeschool, 8yr old, 5 yr old, 10 month old and (soon) two more but I find that our kids have WAy more interaction and true friendship with non-Christian kids than any of the other kids at our *old) church. even though these kids attend school with each other, our (old) church was so cliquey..everyone so relieved that there were so many church kids at the school. we have many friends over to our house who are not of our faith, and of course have great opportunities to teach our kids. Our kids regularly pray for their friends, and we have conversations like 'why do you think they talk like that?'..which leads to what Jesus says is cool, not what the world thinks. I just pray daily that God shows me the balance, to raise up strong men and women of God. Safe, confident, gutsy for God kids.darcihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11729565512380024608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-28538947830081033522008-06-17T18:08:00.000-05:002008-06-17T18:08:00.000-05:00Well this could be long. I grew up in a conflictin...Well this could be long.<BR/> I grew up in a conflicting household where God existed but was paired with permissive hippy type parents.<BR/>I attended pubic school k-12. <BR/>We (me and my husband) based on our experiences and choices have chosen to homeschool through high school. <BR/>I have 2 two children ages 13 and 16 .<BR/>We choose very carefully what is and is not appropriate for our children. But there is a fine line to walk for sure.<BR/>We have layed a solid foundation for them and believe that they will do very well in life. I even watched my young cousins who were very very sheltered grow up to be excellent people who are an asset to their community. They didn't lose their faith and are well adjusted. Just know that what is wrong for one family is not wrong for another. Even two families making the same "sheltering" decision will not do it in the same way. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this subject. LeticiaTiciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07882878707522591831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-7149648916732477142008-06-17T17:27:00.000-05:002008-06-17T17:27:00.000-05:00I'm planning on homeschooling my girls (ages 5 & 2...I'm planning on homeschooling my girls (ages 5 & 2 now) all the way through high school. I went to both public and private growing up...and saw/experienced a bunch of things I don't want my daughters to at such a young age. I am also, however, planning on *exposing* them to the *world* around them...volunteering at shelters, troubled youth facilities, etc...to teach them that there are people out there who are in different places and we need to reach out to them, rather then *join* them. I'm praying this way, they can see what might result from some bad choices, without having to experience it themselves (like I did due to my sheltering as a child...eek!). <BR/><BR/>But if anyone has this parenting thing figured out to a "T"...fill me in!!! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-50869867672393562612008-06-17T15:58:00.000-05:002008-06-17T15:58:00.000-05:00Jess, I'm glad you are talking about this. I am re...Jess, I'm glad you are talking about this. I am really trying to decide exactly what I think on this topic and I don't think it's too early even for me who's first child is 4 months away from the other side of the womb. <BR/><BR/>It is strange to me, because of my life, to hear about overprotected kids but it does make sense. I think there's probably little danger of me oversheltering my kids...I mean how many of us can tell their kids about mommy's years as a heroin addict? My single parent household was one of zero guidance. I do see the potential problems with oversheltering though. It seems foolish just as it is with parents who personally introduce their children to porn, for example. <BR/><BR/>I hope to get a good balance, like you encourage, without squeezing too tight or at the other extreme, flat out neglecting to guide.Catherine R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17270456247724661532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-70473108158018059362008-06-17T15:44:00.000-05:002008-06-17T15:44:00.000-05:00From the perspective of someone whose parents did ...From the perspective of someone whose parents did some things really well... my parents homeschooled me and my brother and sisters through elementary and middle school, and then sent all of us to public high school. This was a deliberate decision so that we would be exposed to different opinions from peers and teachers, different "truths" taught, different family backgrounds and value systems and behavior choices - while we were still living at home and could come at the end of the day and talk to Mom and Dad about what was going on. They reasoned that if we had this training while we were living at home, we'd be a lot better equipped to handle such situations in college or when we were on our own. <BR/><BR/>For me, this was invaluable - I learned a lot about talking about my own beliefs rationally, calmly and compassionately; interacting with people who weren't from a Christian background; and standing firm in the face of peer pressure. It also pushed me to examine my own faith, and to determine absolutely that I believe these things because I know them, and not just because that's what my parents believed. It was, essentially, a training ground for life in the real world, on my own and living in a different state. <BR/><BR/>This may or may not be the best path for every family or every kid, but the general principles I think are sound.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00272972376022426784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-31009018241890404672008-06-17T15:25:00.000-05:002008-06-17T15:25:00.000-05:00Interesting discussion! I was a "dorky" kid mysel...Interesting discussion! I was a "dorky" kid myself, and was never homeschooled a day in my life...LOL!! I came to terms with my dorkiness in college, where I was actually esteemed for my mad grammar skills ;o).<BR/><BR/>My story is similar to yours, Jess, in that I grew up surrounded in my church by home-schooled kids who had absolutely no exposure to the world - whose parents didn't even talk to them about what they might encounter. Today, interestingly enough (with a few exceptions!) neither those kids NOR their parents are serving God today.<BR/><BR/>I really do believe that kids will rise to whatever you expect of them.<BR/><BR/>If you expect that your kids are going to be rebellious, they will be. So if your motivation in "sheltering" your kids is to keep them from rebelling because you just "know" that they're going to go nuts without your watchful eye...then chances are, they will live up to your expectations!<BR/><BR/>As a child and a teenager, it was the expectation that I would go after God...be in His Word...and I was encouraged that way. My mom concentrated on building a strong spiritual foundation and encouraging me to have a relationship with God...as a result, I never really wanted to rebel, nor did I lose my innocence (I was actually dubbed "the sweet, innocent one" in my group of friends my senior year of high school!).<BR/><BR/>Again, I do not write this as an "expert" on anything - I do not even have kids of my own! Just sharing my own story and how I was raised...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com