tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post5921363823770843426..comments2024-03-29T01:05:17.952-05:00Comments on Making Home: Marital Intimacy & CompanionshipJess Connellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00372282510182101716noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-79424270333749075742007-11-27T17:09:00.000-06:002007-11-27T17:09:00.000-06:00Another thing is stuff we "go out of our way" to d...Another thing is stuff we "go out of our way" to do, just because we know the other person likes it.<BR/><BR/>e.g., his cutting the last piece off the loaf and taking the heel instead of the inner slice. If I'm sitting there he'll say "I love you," when her does it. Or I'll make Lasagna or lentils because he loves them (and I *don't*) and every red and white meal till it's gone is a love letter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-40406052122004612962007-11-20T11:42:00.000-06:002007-11-20T11:42:00.000-06:00This was great. Very thought provoking. Thanks!This was great. Very thought provoking. Thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-15533847868079682007-11-19T09:51:00.000-06:002007-11-19T09:51:00.000-06:00Great post, Jess. And I agree with you 100%. There...Great post, Jess. And I agree with you 100%. There really is no substitute for spending time alone together as a couple. I also agree that physical contact is key. It sets the tone for physical intimacy in the relationship. My DH enjoys a good back rub, too.Elspeth https://www.blogger.com/profile/17495546895657214080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-38390112258381409722007-11-18T22:02:00.000-06:002007-11-18T22:02:00.000-06:00Jessica, let me just say how proud I am that you a...Jessica, let me just say how proud I am that you are talking about this important subject, and writing such wonderful articles about it. Also, it would be TMI for me to say too much as your mom, but I'm so thrilled that you are making time to share openly in this area. Love you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-91484350715942690732007-11-18T18:46:00.000-06:002007-11-18T18:46:00.000-06:00Jess, may I get your permission to post a link to ...Jess, may I get your permission to post a link to this at my website www.amothersapron.com. Thank you for your consideration. Tracylea<BR/>slink@att.netTracylea@AMothersApronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07928553331419037991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-73031325588371994102007-11-17T23:57:00.000-06:002007-11-17T23:57:00.000-06:00We don't have kids yet but we both have busy caree...We don't have kids yet but we both have busy careers so we do have schedule for some "us" time. We do a lot of the same things as you Jess, we watch tv together, we cook dinner, go to the movies and just sit in the same room and read. We don't have a lot of time during the day to talk but we try to talk once on the phone and we IM each sporadicly throughout the day. <BR/><BR/>The one thing that truly makes me feel connected is our tradition of attending evening service at church and then grabbing dinner. We always have the best talks after worshiping and praying together.Kyla Jeanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12970391286948740740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-42818198083443938972007-11-17T23:26:00.000-06:002007-11-17T23:26:00.000-06:00My husband and I spend LOTS of time together--talk...My husband and I spend LOTS of time together--talking, having date nights, just hanging out in the same room after the kids go to bed. We talk, talk, talk. Communication and quality time really are key elements, along with making intimacy a big priority. Thanks for your openness and honesty on this important subject!Marlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13258780641096238310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-50777730592409749752007-11-17T19:12:00.000-06:002007-11-17T19:12:00.000-06:00I think all of these things are great to help feel...I think all of these things are great to help feel connected with my husband as well. However, I think the key to it all is mutual response. If I am trying to have a conversation with my husband and he is distracted in his own thoughts or seems uninterested in what I have to say, then there is no connection. Likewise, if he is making moves toward sexual intimacy and I am distracted in my thoughts and seem uninterested, there is no connection. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing what you and your hubby do! It helps me see that my husband and I are doing normal things to connect and when I don't feel like we are connected it is a matter of the heart and focusing on one another rather than ourselves.Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16239224651876191714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-1429156885946560282007-11-17T18:30:00.000-06:002007-11-17T18:30:00.000-06:00i agree with you i think far too often that christ...i agree with you i think far too often that christian couples tiptoe around the intimacy topic.<BR/>My husband and i work opposite shifts. so we eat lunches together and often take naps together. we also talk on the phone since we can't spend the evenings together. and I always wait up for him even if it's to say hey and then hit the hay. LOLStarKnitshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12208631697844102759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-32198450724651743192007-11-17T17:21:00.000-06:002007-11-17T17:21:00.000-06:00Hmmm, yep...pretty much what you said. *grin*Oh, a...Hmmm, yep...pretty much what you said. *grin*<BR/><BR/>Oh, another thing that makes me feel connected is very simple: When he does things I need to have done. It might be something as simple as hanging a picture or pulling a particularly stubborn weed. Just doing those small things that are really immaterial to his own happiness means a lot to me and makes me feel like he "gets" me.*~Tamara~*https://www.blogger.com/profile/06459404172856021413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-55273800872479300962007-11-17T16:50:00.000-06:002007-11-17T16:50:00.000-06:00My daughter recently asked me what my favorite tim...My daughter recently asked me what my favorite time of day was (hers was lunch). I think I said, "I like lunch too." But that's only b/c my real answer was "when you all go to bed!" I love when I get to spend time with my husband uninterrupted!!!!! Even if we only watch TV or surf or read. We, too talk about issues and beliefs a LOT. The only thing we have to remember to do is sit BY each other so we can touch. Across the room just doesn't work for me. Next time I'm buying a love seat recliners.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13893224927335285415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-75409895050181914162007-11-17T11:36:00.000-06:002007-11-17T11:36:00.000-06:00We also spend "just the two of us time" after the ...We also spend "just the two of us time" after the kids are in bed. We LOVE to watch movies and snuggle together. But other times, he'll be working on the computer, while I knit...but we're still in the same roon so it works :) We usually talk for about a half hour in bed before falling asleep...just filling each other in on things that happened that day that we might have forgotten to talk about. We're really big on communication too :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-46523780756100384742007-11-17T11:29:00.000-06:002007-11-17T11:29:00.000-06:00Jess, it sure sounds like you and your husband do ...Jess, it sure sounds like you and your husband do a lot of good hard work on your marriage. You go guys. I feel I'm learning so much from you in preparation for marriage.Mrs. Anna Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15377583333000789903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-21378171224809587522007-11-17T11:15:00.000-06:002007-11-17T11:15:00.000-06:00Wow! I feel like you just described all the little...Wow! I feel like you just described all the little things that my husband and I do to stay connected regularly. You are right that being open and honest in communication, and taking the time to just be together in the evenings is very important. Great article!Sadiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00773975417048783313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-76205050668862845762007-11-17T10:45:00.000-06:002007-11-17T10:45:00.000-06:00It's really spending time together, I think. My h...It's really spending time together, I think. My husband and I don't live together right now (just for a few more months), but we talk on the phone a lot when we are apart. That helps-- because we are still emotionally close when we aren't physically together. Also, when we are together, we do things together. We go to the grocery store together, we walk our dog together, etc.<BR/><BR/>~EmilyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-81794244618490958992007-11-17T10:20:00.000-06:002007-11-17T10:20:00.000-06:00Years ago, my young marriage went through a seriou...Years ago, my young marriage went through a serious disconnect. What changed things was that we began to spend time together -- and things were so eroded that at first it was uncomfortable. But gradually we realized that we were still the people who had found so much to love in one another. Whenever someone tells me that their relationship is in trouble, I tell them, "You MUST spend time together, just being yourselves." <BR/><BR/>It's not just "killing time"... it's a symbol for prioritizing in life in general. You're affirming that your marriage is worth nurturing, even in small ways that keep you from doing something more "important" with your time. <BR/><BR/>Also, going to bed at the same time was a big help. Closing the day together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32444916.post-12030722854808660132007-11-17T07:51:00.000-06:002007-11-17T07:51:00.000-06:00One thing that helps me feel connected to my husba...One thing that helps me feel connected to my husband is praying together. I especially feel connected to him and cared for when he prays for me out loud when I am struggling with a certain issue. It helps so much to hear him asking our Heavenly Father for help.Clairehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09635275789506957495noreply@blogger.com