I haven't blogged in the last few days, not only because I've been busy and have a newborn, but also because I've had some off days-- the kinds of days that you DON'T feel like writing about. The ones that leave you tired, bitter, battle-weary, and threaten to send you right over that proverbial edge.But today, even though it's still a down day, I want to write about it. If for no other reason than to broadcast out there that this blogging mama has rough days too.
(Yes, the picture is supposed to be a visual confession of the mood I've been in lately.)
Here are some things that have happened too much in the last few days:
- self-indulgent pity parties in my mind
- kids spilling things about a million times a day
- griping at my kids for doing childlike things (see above) ;-)
- moping (no, not mopping-- that would be productive!)
- folding laundry to physically work out my frustrations (hey, I can't be completely lazy- I've still got 6 people to feed and clothe!)
- spending too much time reading on the computer
- trying to do things in my own strength
- prayer
- confession of those times when I blow it
- admission of my need of God
I love you. And that's all I got.
ReplyDeleteJess,
ReplyDeleteIt's okay. You just had a baby, you're *expected* to have days like this during the adjustment time.
(Not to excuse you of sin or anything, just sayin') :)
I do find when I pinpoint the problems, (as you have just done here), then I am more able to confess sins or change habits and go from there.
But give yourself a lot of GRACE and MERCY right now. The Lord is.
And I'll be praying. (((HUGS)))
Hi Jess! I am sorry you are not yourself! Maybe praying for you will help my stinky attitude, too!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you!
Kimberly
Praying for you!!!!
ReplyDeleteDearest Jess -
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. God has blessed me abundantly but I've been doing the 'pity party', computer staring, and I've had the same expression on my face. (Except I am not as pretty as you - you're beautiful!)
So don't be too hard on yourself. Let's pick ourselves up, get some prayer and Bible reading back in and let HIM live through us.
Love ya-
Praying for you. Thanks for all the great info on your blog... and for being real!!
ReplyDeleteWe all have these unfortunate frustrating days, that is for sure. One of the most icky aspects of the human condition! Take a deep breath, find something to laugh about--even if it yourself ;o)-- and know that many prayers and good wishes are being sent your way today, Jess. :o)
ReplyDeleteDear Jess,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing honestly. Sharing our weakness allows God to get the glory! It is also very comforting to those who are also on the journey.
Adding a new person to the family is never easy! With each newborn there has been that time of adjustment for me--14 adjustments have taught me to give myself, and my family, a break.
For one thing, God is enlarging my heart and stretching me so that I can put another person's needs in there. It can seem that, along with husband, there are so many that demand so much, and there is so little of me to give it out! But this is just the miracle of the fish and the loaves. God takes our little, tiny bit and multiplies it!
This is the time when I have to give up my expectations of how everything is supposed to run. It pushes me to slooowww waaayyy doowwwn. It always looks as though other mothers just pick up and go after a baby, but that's not me! We even graciously bow out of church for a while.
Lots of love and hugs on their way to you--
Sherry
A big, fat DITTO!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I hope I look HALF as good when my baby is only 2 months. Second, stay encouraged. We all have down days.
ReplyDeleteThird, a prayer:
Father, refresh and strengthen Jess during this trying time. Give her the wisdom, patience, and humility to cry out to you for the direction only you can provide. Bless her for her openness and help her to remember that your strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Jess,
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers!
God Bless
Crystal <><
Thank you for reassuring me I am not alone! I love "knowing" (even if it is via blog and message board) someone who had a baby the same time as me, and is going through all the same struggles!
ReplyDeleteI love that at the end of your post, you focused on the positive things you need to do to get more up days. And I love that they all included God. In our weakness He is strong!
ReplyDeletePraying strength for you.
Prayers and virtual hugs to you : ) People really care about you, even those of us you never met in real life. You really seem to do a lot what with an expanding family and an inspirational blog. I can tell you are a good mom and even if you let things slide you could probably still be doing a lot worse. Also, I know it must be tiresome and annoying sometimes...maybe you can find a way to really put your feet up and give yourself a good solid break on Mother's Day (conveniently coming up very soon).
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know you're not perfect. I get very discouraged sometimes and pretty depressed too. Even when I have no excuse or good reason. I hope we're "allowed" to feel this way sometimes because otherwise, I'm a terrible person since I feel this way a lot of the time.
Someone told me to remember this verse:
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Blessings to you.
Thanks for being so honest and for keeping it real. We all have days like this but it is good to be reminded every once in awhile that we are not the only ones that struggle with it. Just keep taking things to the Lord. That is what helps you get through days like this.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you Jess, and thank you so much for sharing. You'll be in my prayers. But, don't be too hard on yourself either.
ReplyDeleteKelly
thinking and praying for you -- I've actually been amazed at how MUCH you've blogged just after your baby was born -- was figuring I'd need to suffer through a few months of Jess withdrawal ;) ... God is there to see and bless your efforts and he will give you strength!
ReplyDeleteJess, It is nice to hear that we ALL have them. It comes to me that since you realize what hasn't been going on the last few days, that is your call to prayer. I will pray too. Isn't it great that the Holy Spirit reminds us how we can get help on our down days? God bless you in your down days :)
ReplyDeletePrayers covering you -- may they be felt!
ReplyDeleteJess....i love you for posting this! Oh how i know the exact type of days you are describing and how easy it is to try to wear that "S" on your chest instead of turning Christ-ward.
ReplyDeleteI am participating in a Beth Moore Bible study right now and one of the MANY things i have gotten out of it is that just as we feel signs of physical hunger and thirst we also feel signs of spiritual hunger and thirst. What a blessing this realization was for me...that when I am anxious, frustrated, nothing can go right i am seeing that those are the days when i haven't been relying on Him but on myself! The days when i need to be more prayerful.
And while speaking of prayer...i will most definatly be saying some heartfelt prayers for God's peace to be with you! Hang in there! =)
Yet despite the worn out expression, you look so pretty! :)
ReplyDeleteOi.. been there, done that, return frequently, and even set up (hopefully temporary!) residence occasionally...
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers, for sure.
Jess, just a note to say I've been there. Adjusting to number 4 was my hardest transition. We had a lot of other things going on to adjust to as well, but number 4 just made life a circus!
ReplyDeletePraying for brighter days ahead, my friend!
"Down days...we all have 'em!" Yes, indeed, Jess! And sometimes, it even moves on into a few days, then more than a week...oh, wait! Time to get past my own pity party! I hope things will smooth themselves out for you soon. :o)
ReplyDeleteBrenda
(((HUGS))) I hope tomorrow is an up day. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about the spilling of things that is so grating to us moms? Oh that's right, because we get to clean it up! mwaha! :) Thanks for sharing, it does a heart good to get your junk out and commiserate with others. I find that my measure of crabbiness is commensurate with my lack of prayer time, and yet somehow I repeatedly fall back into that pattern of being supermom and doing things on my own. And we wonder at how the disciples didn't get it after three years. :P
ReplyDeleteGod bless!
I think it is called "Spring Fever." Everyone seems to have a touch of it here recently. I am guilty myself! My hubby asked me yesterday why I was so "grumpy." Heck, I didn't even notice I was grumpy until he said something! Anyways, as always, its great to read your blog.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless!
-Kittee
Wait - throwing back to back pity parties is wrong?? Now you tell me! :) Many times I have been thankful for the quick and complete way my children forgive me for my shortcomings! Isn't God good to give kids that ability, since moms seem to need it most when they are young?
ReplyDeleteI followed Amy's blog over here! All I can say is great blog!!! I subbed to catch every post!
ReplyDeleteYou too, eh? ;-)
ReplyDeleteLove you.
Jess-
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing even about your down days! Yep we all have them. I've been wanting to write and tell you what a blessing your blog has been to me lately. My husband and I just found out I am pregnant. (I'm having a down day; a sit down in front of the toilet and throw up sort of down day :/) This is our first baby and I've been so blessed to read all the things you've written about your family and especially about having a new little one. Thanks again for sharing. MaryBeth
meee toooo.....
ReplyDeleteglad to know i'm not the only one. it's easy to think all the other blogger mamas never get like this and are holier than me somehow and i'm the only one who ever feels this way or acts like this because no one is willing to share their reality. thanks for being real.
I just love that picture!
ReplyDeleteJess, I know it's easy to get on the computer instead of lying down and resting when you have a spare moment. I have been guilty of that myself. Try to force yourself to spent more time horizontal!
ReplyDeleteAlso, fish oil supplements have been proven to reduce the incidence of postpartum depression. I am not saying that you are depressed, I am just saying that taking fish oil (if a mercury-free supplement is available where you are) may help you during this time of intense stress on your body. Fish oil's good for the eyes, heart and skin anyway, but especially for pregnant and nursing moms.
Laurie B
I just found this blog. Was reading about the Duggar family and then decided to check out your newer posts.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice I have for you is to accept those less than perfect days. I have them every so often. The days where I don't want to talk to anyone. Or where I really don't want to clean the house. Everyone needs a lazy day once in awhile and we shouldn't beat ourselves up or skip ahead and think that we are going to be forever depressed. Life has its ups and downs.
Though sometimes just calling a friend helps. What mostly helped me is finding that EVERYONE has those days and its okay.
I hope I make sense.
Also, a great helper for stinken thinken is the flylady. Don't know if you've ever heard of it, but I love the routines and encouragement!
ARGH. I feel your pain. Hope you have a happy Mother's Day.
ReplyDeleteDear Jess, we all have "those days", especially after a major transition in our life. You are a strong and wise woman, and Lord willing, everything will seem better soon. And a good sense of humor can't hurt either. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog on google and love it! Thank you for being real and encouraging. I have many days like you described. It helps to know that it is a common struggle and that God still loves me and gives me His righteousness despite myself...
ReplyDeleteWhat?? I am not the only one-praise God! Seriously, I needed to hear the real heart of a fellow loved child of God. This has been one of those times for me. I am aware that I haven't been helping myself much (not sleeping as much- neglecting my vitamins/diet) but, c'mon. I am thankful that it doesn't last long and God's truth does prevail. It would help if my feelings could get there a little more quickly!
ReplyDeleteThanks, friend!
Jamie
p.s. I agree with the others...You look great!
possibly reading this a little late to pray for 'that' specific time, but never too late for prayers..i need em every day. so i want you to know i just sat here and prayed for you today. thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Jess
ReplyDeleteWow, you too?
You are a new mom at 28, I'm a new mom at 46. I have alot of down days and it really stinks. I'm always so tired, stinking tired. I hate it, I'm so blessed, how can I be so blessed and be so down?
Sorry I haven't written lately, been too tired. :)